(Minghui.org) A few days ago, my mother had a sudden bout of breathing difficulty, which persisted despite getting supplemental oxygen. We rushed her to the hospital for emergency treatment. Within a few hours, the doctors said there were two serious problems at hand: my mother’s heart was extremely weak and had a severe oxygen deficiency. If her condition continued to deteriorate, she would have to be put on a ventilator.
After I learned about her condition, my heart sank. My mind was overcome with worry, anxiety, grief, and other human emotions, while my rational side reminded me not to be led by this illusion. My mother has been a Falun Dafa practitioner for years, so this was certainly a tribulation for both of us. I would have to deal with it rationally and not get carried away by my human emotions. After arranging my mother’s admittance to the emergency ward, I quickly instructed my accompanying family members to silently recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also asked fellow practitioners to help send righteous thoughts, eradicating any interference from other dimensions.
I sent forth righteous thoughts while waiting on a bench outside the emergency ward. Gradually, my mind began to calm down and I started searching for the cause of this tribulation.
A few weeks ago, my mother started suffering from high blood pressure and insomnia. As my mother said the lack of sleep would adversely affect her stamina, she began taking sleeping pills and blood pressure drugs, together with a fast-acting cardiac medicine whenever she felt particularly uncomfortable. However, I thought that these uncomfortable manifestations were due to sickness karma. True cultivators do not suffer from illnesses, as Master Li, Falun Dafa’s founder, has cleansed our bodies. Then why take medicine if one is not ill? Moreover, I thought this problem stemmed from to her attachment to the notion that one must sleep in order to feel better, so I advised her to let it go. In fact, some Dafa practitioners could even stay awake for days without repercussions. Although my mother nodded in agreement, her mental state remained unstable. Within two days, she reverted to her original notions.
After a few more visits, I became anxious. After studying the Fa, I had in depth discussions with my mother whenever we came across teachings concerning sickness karma. But her mental state continued to waver. When she was rational, she would declare her determination to stop taking medication. Yet within days, she admitted to resuming her medication because of severe discomfort from insomnia. Sometimes, she even resorted to inhaling supplemental oxygen for relief. Additionally, she began losing track of the set times to send forth righteous thoughts, would fall asleep while sending forth righteous thoughts and while meditating, and stopped paying attention to the accuracy of her exercise movements. Over time, my anxiety, human concern, and unkind side began to manifest. I started criticizing her for taking shortcuts and giving up despite cultivating for so many years. I foolishly thought I was helping her. She determinedly stopped taking all her medication for a few days, despite her inability to sleep at all or even study the Fa because of exhaustion. This eventually caused her life-threatening symptoms to manifest.
After reviewing the entire series of events with Master’s help, I identified what I had done wrong.
First, one can never compel others to change their mind. Driven by my attachments, I forced my mother to adhere to my approach, suppressing her objections with Master’s teachings and sometimes even arguing with her. I blindly sought to change my mother’s human notions and attachments, self-righteously assuming this was for her own good. I kept looking externally to identify problems in my mother, and even thought Master was using me to help my mother improve. What I should have done was search inwards and uncover the attachments hidden within myself. Because of this mistake, my earlier attempts failed to convince my mother.
Second, I had become condescending, self-righteous, and resentful. As I continued to communicate with my mother, I felt increasingly certain of my correct understanding. Yet why couldn’t my mother see such an obvious principle? My mental state gradually deteriorated until I could no longer listen to my mother’s differing opinions with a calm mind. I could no longer assess her words objectively and provide rational advice. Instead, I wanted to change her mind quickly by employing the method I thought was best. I used to be critical of my mother for her self-superior airs and criticism of others. Yet, I have those same shortcomings so how could I say I was different from her?
Third, I went to extremes in my attempt to help her. My mother would say, “Let me try stopping my medication for a few days.” I would disdainfully reply, “Try? What is there to try?! Cultivation should be treated seriously. Is there room for you to try? You should let go of it completely and follow the path arranged by Master. Relying on medication is the path taken by an ordinary person.” Although my words sounded righteous, I was not in line with the principles of the Fa.
Master said,
“Some arrive at insights in a sudden flash, while others arrive at them more slowly, over time. But either should be fine, as in both cases the person does enlighten to something. Naturally, it’s better to do so instantly, but gradually is okay too; in either case the person comes to a new understanding. So neither approach is wrong.” (The Ninth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
What right do I have to make my mother relinquish all her attachments at once? Rome was not built in one day. Moreover, my mother entered cultivation practice in order to cure her illness. This strong attachment would naturally be harder to eliminate, and my mother’s wavering determination could only be normal. In contrast, my demands of her had been too harsh and extreme.
Fourth, my mother’s human notions had been too strong. My mother had not truly let go of her human attachments when she forced herself to stop taking medication on my orders. By doing so, she was attempting to cultivate while refusing to give up her human notions. From my standpoint, if a person cannot let go of his or her human notions towards sickness, then they remain an ordinary person in their understanding of this issue and should use ordinary people’s methods. For those who no longer have any attachments, they can do things according to supernormal principles. There is no need to take medicine or receive medical treatment. They can proceed to eliminate their karma, pass the test and elevate in levels. Achieving this state by being forced to is impossible.
Besides regretting my past actions, I regretted failing to realize my own mistakes. My deviation from the right path caused this outcome, and I silently begged Master for another chance. A few hours later, we received good news. My mother’s condition had greatly improved, and her vital signs were relatively stable. I quickly thanked compassionate Master.
That night, I too had a sickness karma tribulation. As I was suffering a splitting headache, nausea, and an upset stomach, a voice resounded from my heart, “You’ve criticized your mother for not being steadfast. Now, let’s see how you weather this test. If you can’t do it, then you were just talking big.” Motivated, I diligently sent forth righteous thoughts, persisted in studying the Fa, and doing the exercises before going to bed. My symptoms disappeared overnight, but this experience triggered further self-reflection. My symptoms had been hard to endure, but my suffering was alleviated within one night. My mother had been suffering for several months. Her endurance was much better than mine, yet I had criticized her for not being strong enough. I never put myself in her shoes, and my empathy for her situation was inadequate.
My mother’s condition continued to improve. Soon after, she was discharged from the hospital. As though starting from scratch, my mother and I started studying the Fa in earnest. We watched Master’s exercise video and corrected our movements. My mother, who was still very weak and needed help to use the bathroom, managed to stand and perform the first four sets of exercises in a row, greatly exceeding my expectations. Soon after, my mother found that her body had become light and comfortable. As for me, I began hearing faint strains of exercise music whenever I settled down into a state of calm. Often, I found myself finishing work at just the right time to send forth righteous thoughts. I knew Master was encouraging me to practice diligently.
My mother quickly recovered from her ordeal, with her health vastly improving compared to when she was first hospitalized. She finally let go of her attachment and stopped taking medication. Her blood pressure even remained normal throughout the day; in the past she needed daily medication to control her high blood pressure and symptoms. A few days later, my mother measured her blood pressure after taking her medication. Although her blood pressure had increased to extremely high levels, she felt no discomfort. We immediately realized this was Master’s message; blood pressure medicine would no longer have any effect on my mother. Afterwards, my mother completely gave up on medicine or measuring her blood pressure.
My mother and I remain immersed in a state of peaceful tranquility. Like Master said, “Bathed in divine light, conduct and thought become right.” (The Third Talk, Zhuan Falun) Thank you, Master, for giving us a second chance. Thank you for turning this crisis into an opportunity for us to improve ourselves.
By sharing this experience, I hope it will prevent fellow practitioners who encounter similar situations from repeating my mistakes. I also hope to encourage fellow practitioners who are in similar straits: look inward, find your attachments and correct them. Compassionate and great Master will always help us. We must cherish every opportunity and strive to do better.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
