(Minghui.org) As the number of positive COVID cases increased dramatically in Beijing and other places in China, I also developed “symptoms” last week - I felt chilly and had a fever at night, dry mouth, and heartburn. I was quite worried.
I didn’t take an antigen test. There was no thermometer at home, let alone medicine because I haven’t taken a single pill since I began to cultivate in Dafa. I felt terrible that night, but I held the thought that I would make it through no matter what—but “make it through” was actually a human thought.
I couldn’t stop wondering, “How could I contract the virus? The virus is targeting the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), how could I get it? How come the early symptoms are so similar to mine? Do I have a mild case?”
I didn’t know what I was doing wrong and felt quite irritable. I found a lot of attachments and felt I might still have toxins from being indoctrinated by the CCP, which I hadn’t completely eliminated. The more I thought about it, the more I was disappointed with myself, and physically I felt even worse.
My righteous thoughts were not strong. To keep myself from feeling physically uncomfortable, I began to read the Fa, do the exercises, and send forth righteous thoughts. However, I still occasionally had a runny nose, cough, and dizziness.
As I was struggling to understand the situation, articles about “contracting the virus” appeared on the Minghui website one after another.
After reading the articles, I finally realized that I made a big mistake from the very beginning: I did not treat myself as a practitioner and failed to see it was a false manifestation of sickness karma. Instead, I was deeply fearful and compared how I felt to the symptoms of “contracting the virus.”
After the symptoms developed, I was so scared that I didn’t even think about Master Li’s (Dafa’s founder) teachings on sickness karma, and didn’t really let go of “sickness” in my mind. I thought while doing the exercises, “I will feel better and the symptoms will disappear as soon as I finish.” That thought was fundamentally wrong.
My perception of viruses and other “diseases” did not transcend the level of everyday people, just like Master said, “Yet many people have not done so and remain everyday people. Therefore, they will still be ill when the time is due.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
For a week, I had paranoid thoughts several times a day, “Why am I coughing again? Why do I feel nauseous again? How come my appetite still hasn’t returned to normal?” Now, I finally realized the root of my problem with the help of timely published articles on the Minghui website.
I studied Lecture Six of Zhuan Falun today. I read attentively and discovered for the first time that Master talked about how to fundamentally remove the attachment to sickness karma in several places.
Master said in the section “Your Mind Must be Right,”
“Our bodies may suddenly feel uncomfortable. This is because repaying karma will be manifested in different ways. At a certain point in time, you will be made unable to discern clearly whether something is true, whether your gong exists, whether you can practice cultivation and make it, or whether there are Buddhas and if they are real. In the future, these situations will surface again to give you this false impression and make you feel as though they do not exist and are all false—it is to see whether you are determined.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
Yes, Master has said countless times it is not an illness, not a disease, so why was I still unwilling to understand and follow Master’s words? The karma and old forces won’t let me study the Fa and cultivate properly, how could I let them have their way?
The fact that I stumbled on the sickness karma test this time also has to do with my fundamental attachment to wanting to practice cultivation comfortably. I have been practicing cultivation smoothly for 10 years under Master’s protection. As time went by, I became a bit accustomed to the steady pace, and my attachment to ease and comfort kept growing without me realizing it.
When there was a little bit of discontent in life, I could not put up with it and forgot to look inside for attachments, instead I bred filthy attachments to feeling injustice and imbalance. It is not only a manifestation of jealousy that a practitioner must remove but also a major problem of disrespect for Master and Dafa.
Today, as I read the Fa in Lecture Six, I felt enlightened by many of the teachings that I had read before but hadn’t paid attention to.
Every time I moved on to read the next section, there was a physical disturbance, but I immediately thought, “It is karma that doesn’t want me to continue reading, I must continue because the following section will definitely expose my attachment and eliminate it. I must continue reading more diligently.”
Doing it this way, I hardly lost my concentration at all and finished reading Lecture Six keeping my full attention. Each sentence of Master’s teachings passed in front of my eyes and brain like a flowing stream, revealing the Fa principles to me continuously.
I felt a lot of my notions about sickness karma had been broken, and my whole body and mind felt relieved immediately. I no longer felt tired, drowsy, sleepy, or dizzy, I felt sharp-eyed, clearheaded, and energized, and I finished writing this article with ease.
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Category: Improving Oneself
