(Minghui.org) I recently found one of my attachments during my interactions with other practitioners—expecting something in return.
A practitioner wanted to meet with me at a certain location the next day. I emailed him that I would be able to meet, but he did not reply to confirm it. I thought he might not have checked his email, so I did not go the next day. It ended up that the practitioner went there. There is another practitioner who usually did not reply to my emails when we discussed things. Afterward, I asked her in person why she did not reply to my emails to confirm the things we discussed. She said it meant that she already knew if she did not reply.
From my perspective, I always reply to emails that practitioners send to me. It’s a good habit to let the other party know that I have at least seen the email and to respond as early as possible, especially on urgent matters. My basic understanding is that since we use email as a communication tool, it is necessary to inform and confirm with each other. However, the problem is that this may not be the understanding of others. At first, I thought those folks were lazy, and it was difficult for them to just reply. I also felt unhappy that the other person did not understand basic etiquette. Gradually, I realized it’s just that everyone understands things differently, and the habits we formed are also different.
This also reminded me of giving my seat to someone on the bus. Sometimes, when I gave my seat and the person did not thank me, I felt aggrieved, “This person is really rude. I gave my seat up but they did not bother to thank me.” If someone thanked me, I would think that person had high morals.
But then I asked myself: What is the purpose of giving my seat to others? Is it to let the other person thank me, or to get other passengers to look at me in admiration?
Certainly, it is neither. Giving my seat to others is just for the good of the other person. Since it is for the good of others, when the person sits down, the goodness for others has already been realized, and it is not important whether they say something or do something.
I reflected on my interactions with the practitioners again. For the first practitioner’s case, I should think from his perspective and assume he already saw my email. I should have gone to the location we were supposed to meet. If the practitioner was there, we could discuss things. If not, I could just go on with my business and it wouldn’t affect me much. For the second practitioner’s case, I should also think from her perspective and assume she already knew the things we discussed, so there was no need to reply. I now know I should not get tangled up with expecting things from others.
I looked inward further and realized my pursuit of wanting something also manifested in other aspects. For example, if I did something for a fellow practitioner but got no response or even a word, I would be driven by the pursuit of expecting a response and become unsettled. Recently, I have accumulated some materials for Minghui articles, including some understandings I wrote down about things and people I interacted with during my cultivation. I finally compiled everything into a few articles and submitted them to Minghui. Afterward, I checked online frequently to see if the articles were published. This is also a manifestation of my pursuit of expecting something in return. Actually, it would be sufficient if I wrote an article about cultivation, and my understanding based on the Fa. It does not matter whether it is published.
I asked myself why I had the pursuit of wanting a response for everything. It appeared to give me a sense of self-validation, satisfaction, and being valued by others. Those are all human attachments.
Master said,
“When it comes to doing things, I consider the process most important, because during the process you can have people see the truth, during the process you can save the world’s people, and during the process,you can reveal the truth.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference”, Collected Teachings Given Around the World, Volume III)
Dafa practitioners should also pay attention to the process and do it well. Therefore, I should follow Master’s teachings, consider others first at all times, and pay attention to giving without expecting something in return.
I should work hard without caring much about the result, care about the practitioners as a whole without thinking about personal gain, focus on others and not myself, do good deeds without caring about fame, and truly focus on improving my cultivation. This is what I should consider at all times as a practitioner.
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Category: Improving Oneself
