(Minghui.org) I’m 34 years old and I began practicing Falun Dafa with my parents when I was 9. My family managed to stay on the path of cultivation despite the persecution in China, thanks to Master’s protection.
I grew up in a family of cultivators and my parents took good care of me. We reminded each other to conduct ourselves as practitioners. My mother always reminded me to stay on the path of cultivation. My grandparents doted on me. I was like a flower in a conservatory. Although life was difficult during the 24-year-long persecution, it never bothered me too much and I found joy in hardship.
However, a sudden series of events led me to reevaluate my cultivation path. From 2019 to 2021, my grandparents, and the most important person in my life – my mother and fellow practitioner, passed away. It felt as if the sky collapsed. I felt as if living was worse than death. I even hoped that the Fa-rectification would end soon so I would be put out of my misery.
During this tough time, a practitioner came to see me and my father. He asked me, “Do you find life meaningful?” I answered without hesitation, “Life has no meaning.” He smiled, “Isn’t that wrong? Think about it, what is the true purpose of your life?”
Indeed! What is the true meaning of my life? Is it to pursue happiness? Enjoy the pleasure that my family members bring me? No, the sole objective of my existence is practicing cultivation. This is why I came to Earth, to fulfill my mission of assisting Master in Fa-rectification and to save the people in my world. They are my true kin and they are looking forward to my return. I know that practicing cultivation in Dafa is the only path for me.
Breaking Through the Test of Missing My Mother
My mother always took great care of me and I was dependent on her emotionally. I confided in her and talked about whatever made me happy or bothered me. I couldn’t stop crying when she died. I knew I was trapped in sentiment.
During my school break, a practitioner took me to her home and we read the Fa every day. We read at least three lectures of Zhuan Falun, as well as other lectures. I stopped feeling so miserable and a smile returned to my face. Studying the Fa for long periods of time helped me eliminate some of my emotions and thought karma.
One night, I dreamed I was at school, and the teacher asked my parents to come to school to supervise me in my studies. I saw my father and asked him, “Has my mother come? Where is she?” My father told me, “Your mother is here, she is in the teacher’s office. Don’t keep looking for her. Stop pursuing happiness in life.” When I woke up, I enlightened to the understanding that I came to this place – the human world – and formed a family with my parents so that they could supervise me in cultivation. My mother is in the teacher’s office, which meant she is with Master.
Master said,
“So for those who passed away early, even though I determined that they would Consummate, they’re actually waiting at a certain place. It has to be that I receive them. Those who aren’t received by me are not acknowledged. So they’re all waiting for the final conclusion. Of course, they don’t have any hardship now while they wait. Their consciousnesses are perfectly clear and in a god’s state, and it’s just a matter of returning to their positions.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
I realized I must stop being attached to my mother. Master gave me hints in my dream to stop pursing “the good life” among everyday people.
I thought that I’d broken through the attachment to emotion and was no longer sad. However, when I drove home to see my father I recalled details of times spent with my mother and I could not stop crying. When I stepped into the house and saw practitioners who were close to my mother, I broke down and wept uncontrollably. I did not want them to be worried about me and tried to control my emotions, but the more I tried to restrain myself, the more I cried.
I was puzzled: I understood the significance of cultivation, so why was I unable to control my tears? I realized it was because on the way home, I kept reminiscing about the good times my mother and I had. Of course, I had fallen into the trap set by the old forces who controlled my thoughts and led me to lose control of my emotions. I knew that if I did not follow Master’s requirements and walk the path arranged by Master, I would be walking on the path arranged by the old forces for sure. I knew I must constantly pay attention to which of my thoughts were not on the Fa, so that my true self would be in control of my body.
I had another dream that night: I was working through an especially hard math question. I listed a long equation and it was exactly the same as the answer. However I did not work out the answer, I merely wrote the equation. When I woke up, I enlightened that Master was encouraging me. I knew the answer but I needed to put it into action.
The next day, I went to a practitioner’s vegetable field. I remembered this was my mother’s favorite place. As soon as I had this thought, it grabbed my attention. This is not me, it was the old forces interfering again. I thought: I will not fall into your trap. I immediately dispelled the thought and I was not moved by it.
In this way, I kept my emotions in check by reviewing every thought and eliminating it. Gradually, I was no longer affected by sentiments of missing my mother.
Changing My Views on Marriage
In the past, although I considered myself a practitioner, not only was I attached to human sentiments, I felt unsettled and resentful when I did not get my way. My husband and I both practice Falun Dafa, and we’ve been married for eight years. In the first few years of our marriage, we fought constantly. I yearned for his care and love but instead he was cold. I lost hope in my marriage and wondered why my life was so miserable. What a great misfortune to marry him! At one point we were on the verge of getting a divorce. I understood the cause of the problem was that I did not conduct myself as a practitioner.
I could not escape my marital problems by getting divorced. The only solution to our conflicts was to cultivate myself. I did not know how to improve my moral character. Both of us had a strong competitive nature. We argued for hours and neither of us refused to give in. I warned myself: I may not be able to improve in cultivation in other areas for the time being, but I can at least control my mouth. No matter how much it hurts or how wronged I feel, the next time we argue I won’t talk back.
We had another falling out. It took 40 minutes for us to drive home from my mother-in-law’s place and we argued the entire way. My husband endlessly criticized me. He even started to shout at me. I warned myself repeatedly, “Don’t argue back.” I had the urge to retaliate several times but restrained myself. As my tears fell, I clenched my hands tightly and fought hard to keep silent. In the end, I did not say a word. Although it was an excruciating process, when it ended, I applauded myself silently: I did it!
Since I managed to hold my tongue the first time, wouldn’t it be a pity if I did not control myself the second time? One time, we went to a distant city to post letters explaining the facts of the persecution. On the way, we had a quarrel again due to a difference in opinion. I wanted to argue but then I thought, if we had a fight, it would disrupt our plans to clarify the truth. I decided to hold my tongue.
This time, my husband’s temper got worse. He even swore at me. I thought, "This is a good thing! I passed the test the last time. If I manage to forbear this time, I’ve progressed in cultivation." I closed my eyes and kept silent. As it happened a long time ago, I forgot the details of the incident. All I remembered was we finished mailing the letters and I went home with my husband in good spirits.
Master said,
“That’s because on your path of cultivation there is nothing that is by chance. So, when you get into a heated exchange and it stirs things up in you, or you get into a conflict over something that concerns your vital interests, perhaps the factors behind it were put there by Master. Maybe you only get upset when it’s a case of someone saying something that really provokes you or hits a sore spot. And maybe the person really did treat you wrongfully. But, those words weren’t necessarily said by that person. Perhaps they were said by me. (Everyone laughs) I want to see how you handle things at the time. When you butt heads with that person, it actually equates to butting heads with me. (Master laughs) (Everyone laughs, applauds) That’s all for today. I can completely remove the material substance for you, but the habits that were formed are something you definitely have to remove—definitely, absolutely.” (“Fa Teaching Given in Manhattan,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume X)
These tests helped me eliminate my bad habits, and I felt I made a huge improvement. My husband is hot tempered and often flies into a rage but I was able to ignore his outbursts and remain clam. I no longer feel unjustly treated or resentful. On the contrary, I thanked him for giving me the opportunity to improve my character. I was even more grateful to Master for removing the bad material (my negative thoughts) formed in me.
I no longer pursued my husband’s love. I knew that these are things a practitioner should let go of. We are practitioners and should remind each other to progress and improve in our cultivation. Perhaps our marriage was arranged by the old forces to destroy us but if we follow what Master asks us to do and remember that conflicts are opportunities to cultivate ourselves, we are doing what Master requires of us. Later on, my husband learned to control himself and gradually got rid of his bad temper.
Clarifying the Truth to Save People
Whenever I tried to hold onto something in the human world, I lost something. I frequently tripped on my path of cultivation and only enlightened after going through many hardships. Practicing cultivation in Dafa is the only way out for me. As Fa-rectification comes to an end, in this unique historic moment when we are transitioning towards the Fa’s rectification of the human world, I must seize this last chance to cultivate diligently and save more people.
How to clarify the truth is something I need to improve on. I’ve only told friends and coworkers about Dafa. I find it hard to break through this restriction and clarify the truth on a wider scale. I arranged to study the Fa with another young practitioner. She has only been practicing for a short period of time and wanted to tell people about Dafa but did not know how to begin. We decided to go out and clarify the truth together. I did not have much experience in explaining things to people, so we listened to and read many materials on how to talk to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution. We even practiced repeatedly.
The first time we went out to clarify the truth, we went to a beach. A middle-aged woman was taking a walk. We watched her for a long time, but we were too scared to approach her. We told each other, if she did not accept the truth it would just be an embarrassment. We plucked up the courage to walk up to the woman and asked if she had heard of Falun Dafa before. She was eager to chat with us. She said she saw practitioners at the airport and tourist spots when she went to Japan for a holiday.
I asked, “Did you talk to them?” She replied, “No, I was not interested.” The other practitioner told her how she began to practice Falun Dafa and then talked about the global quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) movement. She agreed with what we said. We then asked if she wanted to renounce her membership in the CCP under an alias and she agreed. We were overjoyed and felt that this was encouragement from Master.
We gradually accumulated experience in clarifying the truth to people. We met all kinds of people who understood the truth about the persecution. There were also many touching stories which I will not mention here. Perhaps I will share these stories in future experience sharing articles.
I found the true purpose of life in the process. It made me cherish the time I have in the human world to practice cultivation. There were some difficulties but we were not disheartened. We kept learning from our successes and failures, and constantly reminded ourselves to pay attention to cultivating our mind/character, eliminate our fear, and our attachments to loss of face and eagerness for success. As our cultivation improved, Master kept arranging for predestined people to come to us.
There are countless instances where I felt Master’s protection. After I truly practiced cultivation solidly, my life became smoother. I now have time to study the Fa and clarify the truth to save people. Even my work hours are very flexible.
As long as we follow Master’s teachings and walk the path he arranged, Master has made the best possible arrangements for us. I no longer seek to lead a good life, nor am I anxious or worried about my future. The remaining time is for me to validate the Fa, practice cultivation, and fulfill my mission as a Falun Dafa practitioner. Practicing cultivation in Dafa is the only path I must walk. If I don’t cultivate well, everything will be in vain. I will lose this rare opportunity and there will not be a second chance. I must do as Master asks and walk towards the divine. Only then will I not let Master and the sentient beings in my world down.
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