(Minghui.org) I fell into a stagnant state in my cultivation after going through some tribulations. Instead of improving, my xinxing dropped. I felt weaker physically and started having symptoms of illnesses. The aging process also became more apparent.
My mind was often filled with negative thoughts, which made me anxious. I grew more and more impatient, even snapped at loved ones, and made a few mean and hurtful remarks.
I had been merely going through the motions of reading Zhuan Falun, the main book of Falun Dafa, and doing the exercises, but hadn’t truly cultivated my heart in a very long time. I talked and acted as if I was an ordinary person. I wanted to cultivate diligently again, but how?
Studying the Fa with a Calm and Clear Mind
Master told us over and over again to study the Fa and study it well. In order to combat persistent interference and study the Fa well, I began to memorize Zhuan Falun two years ago. It took me more than six months to memorize the entire book. Then, I started over and memorized Zhuan Falun again, and again. When memorizing the Fa, many Fa principles that I had overlooked in the past became clear to me. When memorizing I was able to grasp the true meaning of the Fa principles which helped me gain deeper insights into cultivation. I know how to cultivate now.
I used to think as long as I studied the Fa, did the exercises every day, and made good choices that were based on the Fa principles, I was cultivating and my gong would naturally increase. Whenever I came across tribulations or conflicts, I saw them as interference instead of opportunities for improvement. I didn’t look at myself to find my attachments, nor did I actively try to get rid of them.
For example, when confronted by either management from work or local authorities about my belief in Falun Dafa, I was reluctant to engage in a conversation. I lacked righteous thoughts and was afraid of being persecuted, so I avoided talking to them and accepted the consequences passively. My past experience of being arrested and tortured deepened my fear and my resentment. I kept putting it off hoping I’d become more diligent and have stronger righteous thoughts. I even asked Master to remove this tribulation for me.
During that time, I had a lot of interference when studying the Fa. I had trouble finding time for Fa study, and when I did I couldn’t focus, or I dozed off. I couldn’t finish a single lecture of Zhuan Falun a day. It took me a couple of months, sometimes even longer to study all nine lectures. Without adequate Fa study, the tribulation snowballed. I couldn’t break through and felt defeated and depressed.
Memorizing the Fa turned it all around. In order to make progress memorizing, I was forced to focus and remember each character and each sentence correctly. Even though I had read Zhuan Falun many times, I only truly understood some of the Fa principles for the first time.
Master said,
“You will be made to abandon all those attachments that you cannot give up among everyday people. As long as you have them, all of those attachments must be removed in different environments. You will be made to stumble, whereby you will become enlightened to the Tao. This is how you go through cultivation.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Why have I never noticed that Master Li (Dafa’s founder) said we have to relinquish all attachments? Instead of taking tribulations head-on as they came, I tried to take a detour and delay them. There is no precondition in cultivation and I cannot pick and choose my tribulations. I cannot run away from them and need to take them seriously.
I was thinking as if I was an ordinary person, not a cultivator. I dreaded routine visits from the local authorities and meetings with my supervisor. I didn’t want to be persecuted again, so I tried to avoid it. But, a tribulation was arranged to target this attachment of mine. I dug deeper and tried to find the root cause to this fear. Why was I scared?
It turned out that I was afraid of losing my comfortable life and financial stability. I failed to place my complete faith in Master and the Fa and walk only the path arranged by Master. I didn’t want my family to get implicated and suffer hardship and failed to consider that those who don’t know the truth about Dafa are dangerously close to being eliminated. My human notions and attachment to self got the best of me.
Dafa disciples are here to help Master rectify the Fa. I am here to rectify all that is incorrect. Then why am I scared of them? They should be scared of me. Fear is not something I should have—it is something I need to get rid of. With this thought, my righteous thoughts instantly grew stronger. My fear weakened and my resentment toward the police and my supervisor disappeared. Of course, these attachments were not relinquished all at once. They still pop up and sometimes even very strongly.
After reading some sharing articles on Minghui, I memorized the section, “Your Main Consciousness Should Dominate” from Zhuan Falun and recited it repeatedly to strengthen my righteous thoughts. I recited it while riding the bus, walking, before going to sleep, and whenever I got afraid. When I recited this section of the Fa, the unsettling feeling quickly dissipated and I felt relieved and relaxed. I started to see tribulations in a different light—they are stepping stones meant to help us improve and elevate in our cultivation.
As I slowly overcame my fear, things improved. I was able to talk to the police officer in a calm way the next time he visited. I told him, “You know, these routine visits and harassment have no legal basis. My non-compliance is a service to you. Practicing Falun Dafa is entirely legal. Please do not disrupt my cultivation. If more people knew what Dafa is and how wonderful it is, we would all be safe. Society would be more stable and, your job would no longer be so stressful.”
I was able to finally put an end to a decade-long fear. I realized that studying the Fa with a calm heart is how we truly obtain the Fa. Only then can we measure everything against the Fa, find our human notions and attachments, and get rid of them. This is cultivating solidly and the only way to elevate our level.
Cultivating My Every Thought
In cultivation, we get rid of our thought karma and human attachments little by little and layer by layer. When a family member went through a life-and-death tribulation, I couldn’t do anything about it and became depressed. I wondered, “Why am I even cultivating in Dafa?” I couldn’t carry on as a cultivator yet I couldn’t go back to being an ordinary person. I didn’t have the option to either live or die. I couldn’t shake this negative thought or suppress it. What should I do?
I didn’t realize at the time that it was my thought karma. This thought seemed to have a mind of its own and had a tight grip on me. I didn’t know what to do. I tried to ignore it, but couldn’t stay focused while studying the Fa. So I did the second exercise for an hour. When I finished, the thought had become very faint, as if it had nothing to do with me. In fact, it was not me at all. It dawned on me that studying the Fa, doing the exercises, and cultivating the heart are different forms of cultivation. As long as we truly cultivate, we can rectify our incorrect state of being.
I used to be weak and couldn’t even withstand the wind. I often thought, “Being as weak as I am, I’d collapse before the Communist regime persecutes me.” When imprisoned for my belief, I didn’t think I was going to make it through my term in that harsh environment. However, I made it through by some miracle. Years after I was released, I still couldn’t believe it. After I started memorizing the Fa, I especially paid attention to getting rid of my thought karma. Only now did I realize that this thought did not originate from my main consciousness, but was imposed by the old forces.
For years, I was afraid of logging onto the Minghui website and did not get in contact with the local practitioners. It had a lot to do with my fear of succumbing to torture—I was scared of being arrested again and implicating other practitioners. I failed to deny the old forces’ arrangements. I’ve learned that in cultivation, karma is eliminated little by little, our xinxing improves little by little, and our bodies assimilate to the Fa layer by layer. Only when we take one step at a time and rectify our every thought, can we steadily help more beings in our universe assimilate to Dafa and ultimately achieve consummation.
A little while back, a friend of mine lost consciousness and was critically ill. The local practitioners and I decided that we needed to clarify the truth to his family and save him. We met his family at the hospital and told them to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” We sent righteous thoughts and called out to his main consciousness. I thought about how everybody in this world came for the Fa and should be saved by Dafa.
A week passed and there was no sign of improvement. Only the medical staff were able to see him. I thought, “We’ve done everything we could. Now we just have to wait and see what happens.” This was the kind of passive attitude I used to have toward clarifying the truth. However, this time I realized right away that this is not a righteous thought. It was interference. I continued to send righteous thoughts but didn’t get attached to the results. If I truly wanted to save this friend, I needed to stay the course and take it seriously. Other practitioners also kept up with righteous thoughts and didn’t give up.
Three weeks passed and still, there was no sign of improvement. The doctors suggested that his family take him home to save on expenses. They believed the chance of him waking up was very small. It was a highly reputable hospital and the doctors had seen many similar cases in the past few decades but only one patient came out of the coma. Even if he woke up, the doctors said he’d most likely be a vegetable.
We didn’t let this news affect us and instead clarified the truth further to his family to convince them not to give up. We asked the family to recite “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” to him whenever they could in person. A few days later, right before being discharged from the hospital, he started to regain consciousness. Slowly, he woke up and was soon out of the life-threatening condition.
How well we save people has a lot to do with the strength of our righteous thoughts, and how well we cooperate with one another. I used to just go through the motions when clarifying the truth which proved to be not very effective. I didn’t realize that a lot of interference came from myself, instead of any external cause.
Crucial to Steadfast Cultivation
How can we place 100 percent faith in Master and the Fa? We can only achieve this degree of strong faith by taking one step at a time in our cultivation.
Even when I’m fully aware of the Fa principles, I sometimes still cannot handle a conflict well, and struggle to overcome tribulations. I get frustrated with myself and ask, “Master. Why can’t I do as required by the Fa?”
When I studied the Fa later, this passage stood out, and I made progress:
“My fashen know everything—they know everything on your mind, and they can do anything. If you do not cultivate, they will not take care of you. If you do cultivate, they will help you all the way to the end.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
I knew right away it was Master answering my question. Master is always watching over me and Master knows everything. Having realized this, I immediately felt more confident and my heart was light and hopeful. The things that happened in the following days further reinforced my confidence and my faith in the Fa.
I was driving with a family member as a passenger. She shouted orders and told me to do this and that. But, when I suggested anything, she totally ignored me. I told her how I felt and said that she was irrational and disrespectful. She pushed back, “Oh you are not happy being treated this way? Isn’t this how you used to treat me?” I was upset but remembered right away that Master was there with me and Master knew everything. Isn’t this Master helping me improve? My anger and annoyance melted away. I broke out into tears and felt gratitude toward Master.
When we run into a test or a tribulation, as long as we remember that it is always arranged by Master to help us eliminate karma and improve, we will be able to overcome it.
I watched a British drama series recently and regretted it very much afterward. I was upset for not being able to control myself. When studying the Fa later that day, I apologized to Master, “Sorry, Master. I wasted my time watching TV instead of studying the Fa.” Then I heard a small voice within me, “The drama is not made by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP). It promotes traditional values and culture. It is good for human beings.” Another voice said, “Although it depicts traditional culture, it is an interference to cultivation because it takes time away from Fa study.” As soon as I had that thought, a stream of warmth came down from the top of my head and wrapped around me. I knew Master was encouraging me for the righteous thought I had. I decided right there that I would not watch the series again.
I examined myself and found some human notions and attachments. I liked how some actors looked and how polite their characters were in the series. The male actors are very gentleman-like and the actresses are pretty. I realized it was my lust and it was a hard one to detect. I still longed for things that were noble and elegant. I still longed for a happy life among humans. As cultivators, we have to look at everything from a cultivator’s perspective and base everything on the Fa. However nice things are among humans, it is by the standards of humans. Dafa is offering salvation to the people of the world. Only when people learn the truth about Dafa, can they be saved. And saving more people is what we need to do.
Truly Meeting the Standard of the Fa
Cultivation is so serious, and we have to truly meet the standards of the Fa. Dafa cultivation is not hard because we have the great Fa, and Master himself is guiding us. As long as we truly cultivate ourselves according to the standards of the Fa we can do this. Cultivation is a long hard journey but we have to keep in mind that all the tribulations we encounter are caused by our own karma. Enduring hardship is a good thing—it is how we eliminate karma and improve ourselves.
Thanks to Master for compassionately watching over and protecting us. My endless gratitude toward Master.
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