(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in April 1999, and all of my illnesses soon disappeared. Several months later, in July, the Chinese Communist Party launched the persecution. I stopped practicing out of fear. But Master did not give up on me. With the help of other practitioners, I resumed the practice again years later.
Through studying the Fa, I realized that Dafa practitioners should validate the Fa, and I tried my best to do the three things well. However every time I went out to clarify the truth face to face, fear crept up. I feared that others would not understand or accept me, someone would report me and I would be arrested, or I would put my family in a difficult situation and they would blame and judge me, etc. I clearly knew that clarifying the truth and saving people are most sacred, yet the fear persisted.
I was arrested at another practitioner’s home in June 2023 and detained for 24 hours. After I was released, I asked my husband to transfer my Dafa books to a remote place so the police would not find them. But without telling me, my husband had already burned some of the books. It hurt me tremendously after I learned what he had done, and I couldn’t stop complaining to him. He said, “If you have strong faith in Falun Dafa as you claim, why are you so afraid?”
His words hit me. Indeed, I had lived in fear ever since the persecution started. My husband would not have burned the books if he wasn't worried about me.
One morning while doing the exercises, I remembered the following sentence in “Stay Far Away From Peril”:
“...at crucial moments, they always use human attachments, human notions, and human emotions to evaluate things...”
These words of Master woke me up. I believe that I have found the root cause of fear that’s been haunting me for so long. Instead of measuring things with the Fa, I often fell back to human thinking when I encountered a problem. For example, when I clarified the truth, I had the underlying thought that “I made the evil upset and of course I’d be arrested” or “the persecution would hurt the careers of my family members and they would not forgive me.” All of my considerations were human-based, not on the Fa.
Thinking back about my arrest in June 2023, I was detained in the police station for 24 hours and a police officer wanted me to sign a deposition. He told me it was just routine. I thought, “They would not let me go home if I did not sign. It’s just part of police procedure, and normally people would cooperate with the police.” I read the deposition and it said nothing negative about Dafa. So I signed.
After I returned to the detention room, it suddenly hit me that the persecution was illegal and hence the police procedures are illegal procedures. A practitioner must not cooperate with the police by signing the police documents. Isn’t signing the deposition acknowledging the persecution?
Master said,
“No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil’s demands, orders, or what it instigates. If everyone can do that, circumstances will change.” (“Disciples’ Righteous Thoughts Are Powerful,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
I can finally see clearly the difference between a practitioner and an ordinary person. A practitioner acts based on the teachings rather than following ordinary people’s procedures. I overcame my fear and went back to the interrogation room. No one was there, I crossed out my signature on the deposition. Later I also refused to sign the notice of residential surveillance.
Looking back I realized that cooperating with the police may sound reasonable on the surface, but it is in fact seeing the persecution from an ordinary person’s perspective. I changed my way of thinking and started measuring things with the Fa. I let go of human notions and eliminated my fear.
My years of fear came from confining myself in human thinking, and resulted in being trapped at the human level and surrounded by fear. How could I elevate with that being part of me?
A Dafa practitioner uses the Fa to assess things and lets the Fa guide him. If we study the Fa well and let it become part of our habitual way of thinking, we will think from the perspective of the Fa principles when facing any tests. We will have righteous thoughts and validate the Fa.
Thanks to Master’s guidance and protection, I let go of my attachment and improved. I felt calm and relaxed like never before. This sharing is based on my current understanding. Please kindly point out anything not in line with the Fa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
