(Minghui.org) Every little thing in life contains different elements for our cultivation.
My husband and I run a small store. We have a scale and a sealer on the checkout table. The left side of the table is against the wall, and on the right side of it are various goods in open packages on the floor. I tend to put the scale on the left to weigh goods, and seal the goods on the right. It felt natural this way. Moreover, the goods being weighed would not fall into the open packages below.
My husband, however, kept swapping the placement of the scale and sealer. At first I thought he did so inadvertently and swapped them back without giving it much thought, except for feeling annoyed. Then I was surprised when I saw my husband swap them back as soon as I rearranged them. I said, “You’ve been doing this on purpose?”
My husband blew up: “I cannot get your approval on everything I do. I have no say in anything!” followed by complaints. I forced myself to endure his nonsense and tried to explain the reason to him, but he refused to listen and got even louder.
I resented his behavior and scolded him in my heart. Then Master’s Fa came to mind,
“... and they will be quite upset if something does not agree with their way of thinking.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
Thus, I held my tongue.
Looking inside after the incident, I found I had attachments such as competitiveness, jealousy, self-righteousness, resentment, and spite, because every time I weighed goods using my husband’s placement of the scale, I got upset and wanted to curse.
I told myself, “Let go of all the human attachments, regardless. Just do it his way, and let all those attachments be removed.”
My human thoughts, however, were still at play. I tried everything to get my husband to see the downside of his arrangement, “When goods are weighed on the right hand side, they accidentally fall into other goods below and have to be picked out.” But my explanation did not have any effect—my husband was determined.
Different human thoughts struck me. I kept rejecting them by thinking about Master’s teachings. My mind was unstable, sometimes strong, and sometimes weak.
One day we replaced the table with a larger one. While arranging it, I hesitated but reluctantly arranged it my husband’s way. The next day, a thought occurred to me, “Why do I always try to change my husband? Why can’t I take it easy? Oh, I see now—it is the thought of ‘I’m right’ when I look at things with human reasoning. It always thinks it is right, so it doesn’t want to change.”
If I’m trying to remove human thoughts with a mindset based on human thinking or human notions, how can that be possible?! Basing my assessments on human reasoning prevents me from unconditionally assimilating to the Fa. I must let go of “self” in order to rise above and beyond humanness.
Tears streamed down my face as I was writing this. I bowed to Master to express my gratitude, “My enlightenment quality was too poor!”
I hope my sharing will be of some help to fellow practitioners. Please point out anything that is not in line with the Fa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
