(Minghui.org) I always used to believe that I didn’t have any fundamental attachments. When I reflected on my cultivation, I couldn’t see any major issues. I began to practice Falun Gong because I wanted to cultivate. I thought my original motive for cultivation was very pure; I wasn’t wanting to cure any illness or pursue any desires.
Although I did pretty well in letting go of fame and fortune, after the persecution started, I couldn’t keep up my cultivation state and I didn’t feel any strong compassion to save sentient beings. I became confused, and my cultivation state dropped right down.
Eliminating Invisible Attachments
I had been very diligent in my personal cultivation and was able to overcome tribulations, including sickness karma. I figured that I could give up all worldly things and would therefore be able to make rapid progress towards consummation.
However, one problem became very prominent. When it came to clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings, I preferred to take the easy route. I didn’t have any enthusiasm for it and didn’t take the initiative to talk to people. I wasn’t close to anyone and felt indifferent about whether people were saved or not. It seemed that I had removed the attachment of human sentimentality, but it was actually because I lacked compassion.
My starting point and mentality were wrong. I once bragged to local practitioners that cultivation wasn’t that difficult; I simply wouldn’t do anything that I would regret. This kind of mentality helped me pass some tests, but the driving force behind it was a desire to protect myself.
It’s easy to identify visible attachments—such as to fame, fortune, and physical comfort—and then remove them. But digging out the invisible attachments, such as lacking compassion and enthusiasm to save people, requires enlightenment through diligent cultivation. I used to boast that I was smart and had good enlightenment quality, but I couldn’t see the arrogance and self-righteousness hidden deep inside me. With this mentality, it was really difficult to follow my cultivation path well during Fa-rectification, and consequently my cultivation state fell.
After the persecution of Falun Dafa began in 1999, I lost my stable cultivation environment. I was forced to move away from home and became homeless to avoid being persecuted. I was under tremendous pressure, and numerous attachments surfaced. I slacked off and didn’t read the Dafa teachings or practice the exercises regularly. Fear interfered with me, my righteous thoughts dwindled, and I often felt tired. My desire for comfort arose, and I spiraled down in my cultivation.
In my dreams, I often looked for a bathroom, but when I found one, it was really filthy. I also dreamed that I didn’t finish my assignments at school, or I was late for exams, or I didn’t know how to answer some of the exam questions. Sometimes I even dreamed that I needed to retake my college entrance exams. This went on for a while, and I became anxious, thinking that I wouldn’t be able to succeed in my cultivation and would eventually be eliminated.
My Thinking Was Not Grounded in the Fa
I didn’t know how I’d ended up like that, so I tried to study the Fa again and read articles on the Minghui website every day. After a while, I felt much better and regained some confidence. I thought that I would be able to go home with Master. But before I realized it, I was slacking off again. When I fell down, I was afraid of being left behind, so I struggled to get back up again. Every time I stumbled in my cultivation, something would happen, guiding me to get up again. This kept occurring.
This yo-yo-like cultivation state lasted for a long time. There were times when I felt that I was tightly bound up and couldn’t get free. Because my main consciousness wasn’t clear, I felt really confused and didn’t realize that I’d been walking on the path arranged by the old forces.
When I read Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles, I noticed Master’s answer to a disciple’s question.
The student asked,
“Perseverance and willpower are inherent and predestined. My willpower is weak. When I bear down and make up my mind to try hard, I can do well for a few days, but not long. I’m very frustrated by this, and I don’t know what my problem is. I tried hard to study the Fa and memorize the Fa, but saw no improvement. Is it because the thinking of improving my willpower through studying the Fa is a form of pursuit, or is it because I haven’t studied the Fa enough? If the fundamental reason is that I don’t treasure myself, is there still any hope for me?”
Master answered,
“If it’s a Dafa disciple who cultivates himself very well and who manages to rationally understand what Dafa is, he will surely work at it with considerable effort and not let up when it comes to this. On the other hand, those who are not diligent are likewise studying the Fa, and they know that the Fa is very good, but their thinking is not grounded in the Fa and they don’t have ample righteous thoughts. So, naturally their understanding is not high; that is, they can’t truly understand the preciousness of the Fa. That’s why they’re not all that motivated.” (Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles)
I was really struck by this answer. Wouldn’t it be dangerous if my thinking was “not grounded in the Fa!” I had been wandering in and out of Dafa but didn’t understand the root cause for this state. Attachments would come out of nowhere, popping up persistently like relentless weeds. Something must be wrong with my situation!
Altruism Is the Ticket to the New Universe
A few days ago, I read several articles on the Minghui website by practitioners sharing about their fundamental attachments. After reading them, I reflected on my own cultivation state and thought, “How about if I ask Master for help!” Then, suddenly, I realized my fundamental attachment—the pursuit for personal consummation. When I first entered Dafa, I was looking for personal liberation. Yet over the years, I had been taken advantage of and been subjected to another form of persecution. I absolutely refused to acknowledge or accept this interference.
Master taught us to say,
““I’m Li Hongzhi’s disciple, I don’t want other arrangements or acknowledge them”—then they won’t dare to do that. So it can all be resolved. When you can really do that, not just saying it but putting it into action, Master will definitely stand up for you.” (Teachings Given on Lantern Festival Day, 2003)
I solemnly declared, “I have only one identity on Earth, that is, a Dafa disciple. I have only one Master, and that is Master Li Hongzhi! I only do one thing, that is to clarify the truth and save sentient beings!”
Master taught us,
“Clarifying the facts and saving sentient beings are what you need to accomplish. There is nothing else for you to accomplish.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2015 New York Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. XIII)
The old universe is based on egoism, but clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings is all about others, which is the only ticket to enter the new universe. Sentient beings are waiting to be rescued.
If selfishness is the ground, and egoism is the root of a big tree, then the attachment to consummation is the trunk of this big tree, and all other attachments, large and small, are its branches and leaves. This tree had blocked my path of cultivation in Dafa. Now I have knocked down the trunk, dug out the roots, cleared away the obstructing branches and leaves, and resumed my journey towards the future, on the only path arranged by Master Li.
Now the pressure on my body has vanished, and I feel relaxed. The attachments that had haunted me for so long suddenly lost their roots and fell apart. It feels as if my mind has switched channels, and I am able to put others first every time conflicts occur.
Recently, while walking outside, I realized that I was smiling, my heart was at peace, and my mind was tranquil. It was a new and wonderful feeling. People were busy on the bustling street, each fulfilling their own duties as usual, but the blue sky and green trees seemed completely different now.
Thank you, Master!
Editor’s note: This article only represents the author’s understanding in their current cultivation state meant for sharing among practitioners so that we can “Compare in studying, compare in cultivating.” (“Solid Cultivation,” Hong Yin)
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
Category: Improving Oneself
