(Minghui.org) Dear Master and fellow practitioners, I recently asked myself, “Do I recognize my own shortcomings? Have I cultivated them away? Do I truly and solidly cultivate at all times?”
I’ve realized that true cultivation is being modest and humble, and looking inward unconditionally when problems arise. When conflicts surface, you can definitely find your own faults if you look inside, unless you don’t want to. Or you find mistakes, because of human attitudes, you don’t want to admit to them or correct them.
After the COVID outbreak in 2020, I gave up my regular job and worked at a media. In the beginning, despite tribulations both big and small, I was usually able to look at things from the perspective of a Dafa disciple during the Fa rectification period and think about our goal of saving sentient beings through my work. When I thought this way I could pass the tests. But later, some tests became more difficult. I realized that I still had deep-rooted notions that were hidden for years, and that blocked me from raising my level. When I discovered these notions, I was shocked. I was often unable to admit to them straight away.
Stubborn Attachment Exposed
I came to the attention of one of the main media coordinators. Managers at all levels of this project appreciated my involvement in Project A, where I write texts. They repeatedly suggested I take on more responsibility. However, my contribution as a copywriter for Project B had been acknowledged in November 2022, and so I continued to work for Project B at the same time.
At the end of June 2023, my work at Project B was acknowledged again, and the main editor wanted to publish my texts two to three times a week. I didn’t dare slack off. The following week, I worked for Project B. For three days, I didn’t go to bed until 5 o’clock in the morning. The other days, I worked very hard until 3 a.m. Then I told the main editor that I no longer had the energy to work on both A and B. He asked the main coordinator if I could suspend the work for Project A for a month, and resume once my texts for Project B were published. The main coordinator understood and approved the proposal.
But Project B was more difficult and complicated than I thought. There wasn’t enough staff, but there was a lot to do. No matter how big or small a job was, I usually had to do it alone. I felt like the little kitchen monk who constantly cleaned and cooked—I felt tired and bitter. In addition, I couldn’t talk to anyone about it.
I knew full well that this was a test from Master, and I was determined to pass it. It was my responsibility to do the work diligently and thoroughly. My sense of mission and responsibility were the only driving force which pushed me to complete this project.
So I worked for two months. One day, the main coordinator of the media insisted that I start Project A immediately. Other managers also gave me the same order. I thought, “My work at Project B has already been acknowledged, they don’t want me to stop with B, do they?” I verbally agreed to take care of Project A again, but I didn’t understand, and silently complained.
At that time, Master’s article “Stay Far Away From Peril” was published. Master wrote,
“Therefore, I am telling those of you who are not genuinely cultivating and those who have become resentful after failing to pass tests in cultivation: Cultivation practice is to cultivate yourself. Everything you do, including what you do in clarifying the truth as well as the persecution you endure, is a process of cultivation and something that must be done, and being forcibly persecuted by the old forces is also caused by the karma you have.” (“Stay Far Away From Peril”)
On the surface, this article had nothing to do with me, but the principle explained in Master’s Fa immediately touched my deep-rooted attachment. I realized that I had to overcome the tests I was experiencing by myself. Measuring the issues by the standard of Dafa, I didn’t cooperate unconditionally in the projects where everyone worked together to validate the Fa. I had complaints, did not look inside unconditionally in the face of tests, and did not increase my forbearance. On the contrary, I did the work the way I wanted to. I was comfortable and I didn’t want to change. How could that be true cultivation? On the surface it was cultivation, but I didn’t reach the standard in this test. Master is compassionate and gave me a stick warning, so I was able to wake up immediately.
At first I thought that I couldn’t do Projects A and B well, while working on them simultaneously. This thought was actually born out of an egotistical perspective. It was an old way of thinking—I wanted to protect myself so that I wouldn’t have to change. This was not being considerate of others, and did not correspond to the Fa’s requirements. I should let go of my ego, expand my way of thinking in terms of the bigger picture, and cooperate unconditionally. That’s what a Dafa disciple should do.
I immediately apologized to those responsible, and caught up with my work at Project A. In the days that followed, I was able to quickly complete an article for A. This article had an exceptionally good effect. The second article performed similarly, and had an even greater impact in establishing the media.
I felt that this was an encouragement from Master to me. He saw that I let go of my selfish thoughts, and thus gave me a sign that I behaved correctly. I reminded myself that Master saves people. Under no circumstances should I allow myself to think that this was my success, and become complacent. I realized that I could combine both projects, A and B, by taking A as my focus and working primarily on it, and by working on B in my free time.
This experience helped me realize that you can bring different projects into harmony as soon as you start from the point of view of the whole, and break through your own narrow perspective. If you don’t think about yourself, and really think unconditionally about the bigger picture, then you are no longer being selfish.
When I reached this level, I realized that, during conflicts, I finally understood how to differentiate between my old ways of thinking and what it truly means to think of others. I learned how to let go of my hidden ego and think of others first.
Grateful for Tribulations
Project B is very difficult and laborious. Day after day, the work just had to be done. Working late into the night became the norm. Every time I felt I couldn’t take it anymore, I thought of my mission to save people, and then I could get through it.
I know I signed a contract with Master when I came from the heavens to earth. If I don’t do the things I’m supposed to do well, I’ve sinned.
However, we cultivate among ordinary people. One night I complained, “Why is there no one to share this work with me? Why am I the only one working diligently and silently?” I silently screamed: “When is this going to end?”
At that moment, a practitioner said, “Even in the face of demonic interference, one must be grateful to Master. A cultivator should not only thank Master when he feels happy, for example when he becomes healthy, has a happy family or is successful in his career. But if you suffer, have nothing, are homeless, and face many difficulties, you should still thank our venerable Master.”
An ordinary person says “thank you” when someone is good to them. However, as cultivators, we should thank people who cause us difficulties. These people help us to, “gained four ways in one shot,” as described in Zhuan Falun. They help us lose face and lose our reputation and wealth among people. Because of these difficulties, we can learn to follow the course of life, our souls and bodies are purified, and we take another step on the way to returning to our true selves.
I realized that difficulties are also a blessing from Master. Because all difficulties are arranged by him, a great deal of karma is repaid, allowing us to return to heaven. Without his protection and his suffering, we wouldn’t even have a chance to live in this world. Without his salvation and the tests arranged by him, we would not be able to repay the karma we created lifetime after lifetime. I therefore give thanks to him and joyfully cultivate in the situations he arranged. If I encounter difficulties, I will uphold the Fa principles and continue to cultivate.
I realized that the minimum requirement for a practitioner is to not complain in the face of difficulties, and to always be grateful to Master. In addition, one should appreciate the opportunity to cultivate. One should identify and eliminate human attachments as soon as possible. At the same time, one should deny all arrangements that do not come from our Master.
When I truly understood this, the grievances caused by my attachment to comfort were eliminated, and they never appeared again.
Elevating With Other Practitioners
While working for Project B, I had several opportunities to improve together with the other practitioners.
This happened twice. One day, a practitioner directly brought up my mistakes in my planning for Chapter 6 of a text, saying that I had not mentioned the key point.
I felt that I was treated unfairly because I worked hard all night to complete it. Why didn’t he praise me a little instead of criticizing me? There was another reason: I had had no material to work with to produce the key point he mentioned. How could I cook without rice, even if I was a good cook?
After a few days, I calmed down and looked inside: I shouldn’t ignore his legitimate criticism just because he voiced it publicly. He was right. I found my attachment, namely that I like to hear positive feedback, but was determined not to listen to his criticism. After eliminating my attachment, I realized that I miraculously found the material that had been lost: Some with the help of other practitioners, and some that I saved in advance. Everything that was supposed to be there, was there. Finally, I had “some rice to cook.”
At the next meeting I thanked the practitioner who criticized me, and said his suggestion led to this chapter gaining more power.
There was another small episode: A practitioner wanted to write Chapter 8. He has a logical way of thinking, and already started writing. He thought his text was logical, but almost no one could understand what he wrote. He insisted on continuing. But the others didn’t have the courage to talk to him.
At first, I found this situation difficult to deal with, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I asked another practitioner to communicate this to him, but it was not effective and he even seemed to react in an emotional manner.
One day I finally put aside my fear and put myself in his shoes. I had a heart-to-heart talk with him about cultivation, and told him that no one could understand what he wrote. He said he understood. I shared the experience that I gained in writing with him, and said, “Correcting a text is correcting the heart.” He listened and changed his attitude immediately. He put aside his rigid approach, and told everyone that he wanted to let go of himself in order to cooperate with the others.
This experience made me realize the reason I hadn’t been able to overcome this conflict. The fault lay with me. If we all communicate openly and honestly with each other, the seemingly fierce conflict will be over immediately. Moreover, both sides were able to cultivate successfully in this matter, practitioners were able to improve as a body, and everyone felt the mighty power of Dafa.
Is There Still Enough Time?
From the beginning of my cultivation, I found time to be the greatest challenge. I often felt that there wasn’t enough time. I wanted to get a lot done, but there was never enough time. So I constantly struggled to balance my work, cultivation, taking breaks, and my relationships with family and colleagues.
I used to have a habit of staying up late and working late into the night. Working overtime was almost normal for me.
Time is a deity. I think he would have been annoyed with me, as I had been disrespectful to him for many years. But all this time I couldn’t find the cause of my problem.
Master said: “This instant is precious beyond measure.” (Teaching the Fa in the City of Chicago (2005))
Each time I read this sentence, I had the feeling that our Master was speaking directly to me.
I analyzed this problem as follows:
(a) I often did not use my main consciousness to do my daily work. Especially during the day, I was often disturbed by people or everyday matters, so I could not concentrate on my tasks. In the evening, there was no interference, so I was able to work effectively. Working late into the night became a habit.
To solve the problem, I need to remember to strengthen my main consciousness and eliminate interference caused by human attitudes, feelings and perspectives.
b) When I was supposed to concentrate on a certain task, I was often interfered with by my human attitudes and the false “me”, with behavioral patterns such as procrastination, comfort and laziness. Putting off my work until later, being ineffective and striving for comfort all have to do with laziness.
In order to solve the problem, I must absolutely deny these notions and send out righteous thoughts specifically against substances such as laziness and comfort.
c) Striving for perfection made my task more complicated and put me under pressure, so I had no time and energy to solve problems and plan a solution. Time passed one second after another while I had negative thoughts, was under stress, and complained.
To solve the problem, I needed to eliminate my attachment of pursuing a good reputation, work more effectively, and stop striving for perfection.
d) I took on more and more tasks, which increased the demands on my cultivation. I have to learn to balance Fa study, cultivation, work, taking breaks, and many other areas.
In order to solve the problem, I have to ensure that I study the Fa and practice the exercises, and keep improving my level of cultivation.
Only Genuinely Letting Go of Notions Is True Cultivation
Master said,
“A notion, once formed, will control you for the duration of your life, influencing your thinking and even the full gamut of emotions, such as your happiness, anger, sorrow, and joy. It is formed postnatally.” (Zhuan Falun Volume II)
Through the Fa teachings, I’ve realized that it’s very important to continuously eliminate the various views one formed after birth. This is the foundation for a cultivator.
I recently overcame some tests. Looking back, I realized that I was successful because under the guidance of the Fa principles, I managed to break through the notions I formed. I hope we all cherish the opportunities we are given, because this moment is worth a thousand times more than gold. In the crucial moment of cultivation at the time of the Fa rectification, we should walk the path steadfastly and better, fulfill our prehistoric vows, and not disappoint the expectations of our Master and sentient beings.
These are my insights from my recent cultivation. Please correct me if anything does not correspond to the Fa.
(Presented at the 2023 Germany Fa Conference)
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