(Minghui.org) Minghui.org recently published several articles about practitioners unintentionally disrupting the Fa. I found the articles very helpful. I would like to share some of my experiences and how I rectified myself with Master’s enlightenment and hints. I hope that fellow practitioners with similar problems can learn from my mistakes and avoid disrupting the Fa unknowingly.
Actions That are Not on the Fa
Several days ago, I suddenly recalled a scene: When I was in detained for my faith more than 20 years ago, I passed Master’s new article to the people in another cell. At that time, I mixed the Fa from Master’s Hong Yin book with my own words. I even showed it to a guard. I now realized that was unintentionally disrupting the Fa.
Master said,
“Disruption of the Fa takes many forms, of which unintentional disruption by disciples themselves is the most difficult to detect. Sakyamuni’s Buddhism began its deterioration in just this way and the lesson is profound.” (“Awakening,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Every time I wanted to expose my mistake, a thought in my mind would say, “You wrote so many solemn declarations and this was already included in them. You don’t have to write anymore!” Another thought said, “You only thought of it after so many years have passed. This is a huge loophole. Quickly write a solemn declaration!” The thought karma and my true self kept debating.
When I was checking if my solemn declaration has been published that day, I saw an article on Minghui, “Be Vigilant About Actions That are Not on the Fa.” I was shocked. I was just like the practitioner mentioned in the article – I copied Master’s Fa and did not indicate the source at times.
I often passed these contents to other practitioners and some practitioners asked me to help them copy the content. I developed the mentality of showing off and had attachment to zealotry. Now that I thought of it, weren’t the old forces using my attachments to harm me? I recalled having a dream where there was an abyss under my feet. I wanted to raise my legs but the mountain was too steep.
I’m grateful that Master didn’t give up on me and gave me opportunities to repent my mistakes.
The night after reading the above-mentioned article, I had another dream, in which there was a pile of new custom-made doors. All of them were in a beautiful brownish red color. After two people opened the top door and tore off the plastic film on the surface, one of them said: “The door is very good! But the surface isn’t smooth, so we have to do more work on it.”
I enlightened that Master saw I was remorseful and hinted at me to write the solemn declaration again. When I was writing the solemn declaration, I recalled many previous instances when I was not on the Fa.
The next day, I went to a veteran practitioner’s home and shared my experience with her. As we were talking, she took out a piece of folded paper from her eyeglass case. I took a look and saw that it was Master’s article that I copied for her many years ago, which included things not part of the Fa. I’m grateful that Master helped us find it, so that we can destroy it to prevent disrupting the Fa.
We also found the notice on sending forth righteous thoughts. The printed paper contained many handwritten notes that included content from the Fa and personal understanding. She said that she didn’t write them but I told her that she was responsible since the paper was in her home. I told her to keep looking for things like that and destroy them.
Changing Notions and Cultivating Myself
I had been going through the motions when studying the Fa and did not cultivate myself solidly. I treated doing Dafa work as cultivation.
Some time ago, when an elderly practitioner was going through a tribulation, I was worried that her main consciousness was not strong and she had very strong human attachments. Some fellow practitioners and I went to her home many times to help her identify her attachments. I wrote many of her attachments on a piece of paper. When she said that she didn’t know how to send forth righteous thoughts, I wrote how to send forth righteous thoughts for her and also promised to download Minghui experience sharing recordings for her.
I became anxious and felt resentful when I saw her not making much improvement. I often pushed my understanding to her and hoped that she could quickly pass this life and death test. I also gave her examples of how other practitioners passed the sickness karma test each time I visited her. However, she was still the same and even took medicine after being persuaded by her son.
There were five practitioners at her house that day. I started to talk about the things that I had done recently, instead of spending the time studying the Fa with her.
A few days later when I went to her home to study the Fa with her, no one else came. I looked within and saw that I had a superior attitude and looked down upon fellow practitioners. I was trying to show off myself, instead of truly helping her passing the test.
I sent forth righteous thoughts to disintegrate the gap between her and I. When I started to look within, Master gave me a hint that the attachments I found were right!
It has been a month since I started memorizing Hong Yin VI. I was still finding thoughts that were disrespectful to Master as I wrote this sharing. I found that I sometimes passed judgment about how the Fa should be written. I am writing this out to expose this thought. That is not my thought. I don’t want it!
Recently when studying the Fa, I could feel that the substance that had been separating me from the Fa is now gone. I could absorb the Fa much better. Sometimes I felt a current flowing slowly in my brain as I read the Fa. I could also be in a tranquil state when doing the exercises. I also ran into more people to clarify the truth to when I was already done with my truth-clarification for the day. A practitioner said, “Master brought that person to us for you to save.”
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Category: Improving Oneself
