(Minghui.org) The Cultural Revolution began when I was in elementary school. My father was singled out and returned home very late at night after being publicly criticized and humiliated. I was very scared, because we were five girls in my family. We were frequently discriminated against and bullied by our neighbors.
Dig Deep to Let Go of Attachment to Lust
I was thoroughly indoctrinated by the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) as I grew up and I became very fearful. I read romantic novels and watched romantic movies and thought that love and desire were very important. Gradually, those thoughts of love and desire grew stronger, and I committed some indiscretions, including having premarital sex.
After I started to practice Falun Dafa (after I was married), I knew I should behave myself. However, I had a lot of interference and never looked within, nor did I notice that the old forces could take advantage of this loophole to persecute me.
I didn’t know how to cultivate and I only scratched the surface when I studied the Fa teachings. If one does not cultivate genuinely, one might as well not cultivate. When the old forces tested me, my human notions emerged and I gave in to lust. The old forces took advantage of this, and I went astray in my cultivation. When I eventually woke up from this nightmare, I had committed so many sins.
I felt dirty and not qualified to cultivate. However, I knew Dafa was good and that it had saved my life. How fortunate I was to be a Dafa practitioner and have a master to save me. I asked myself: “Have I treasured the opportunity to cultivate in Dafa? Why do I only treasure something when I’ve lost it?” I didn’t take the most important thing in my life—cultivation—seriously. My mind and behavior had sunk so low.
Based on traditional Chinese culture, it is not appropriate for a man to touch a woman or vice versa. I should correct myself, because I had done wrong by having an affair. I apologized to my husband and said, “I did many things wrong before. I am so sorry. If I hadn’t practiced Falun Dafa, and without Master’s hints, I wouldn’t have realized my problems. I don’t know if I would still be alive.”
“Let bygones be bygones,” my husband replied. “Just make up for it by saving people.” Master teaches disciples to walk on the right path. Falun Dafa is a pure land.
Changing My Notions
Master said,
“When beings look from high levels, they say the people of the world are really just playing in mud, but that they don’t think it’s filthy, and they’re on the ground playing away in the mud.” (The Sixth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
While I was meditating, I saw a pile of excrement and thought I should clean it up. I realized that I didn’t think lust was dirty and was still interested in things between a man and a woman. I couldn’t let go of my attachment to lust. Weren’t my thoughts attracting demons? Master hinted that I should clear it away immediately. As a cultivator, I should look at things from a high level and from the perspective of a cultivator instead of evaluating and doing things from an ordinary person’s standpoint.
By studying the Fa, I have realized that sentiment only exists in the Three Realms—it is a way for humans to enjoy themselves. Lust is a distorted notion and is spirit possession, so I should not acknowledge it. When I am out, I will not look around, nor stay with a male practitioner if there is no other practitioner there. When lustful thoughts emerge, I will say to it, “You are the demon of lust. This is no place for you.” I will let go of it, send forth righteous thoughts, and completely eliminate the lust demon.
Since developing stronger righteous thoughts, I am bothered by fewer dirty thoughts than I used to be. I should remind fellow practitioners and myself that it is critical to learn from this lesson. A practitioner said, “The demon of lust is an effective tool that the old forces use to ruin cultivators.”
Eliminate the Demon of Lust
After returning home from group Fa study, I wanted to continue studying. When I started to read, lustful thoughts appeared again. I remembered what a practitioner wrote in an article: “I won’t acknowledge your appearance or existence. I completely deny it. I am here to assist Master to rectify the Fa.” I spoke to the old forces aloud, and immediately, the lustful thoughts disappeared and my mind was very clear. I knew Master had helped me.
Master said,
“The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn’t follow Master’s requirements, he must be following the old forces’ arrangements.” (“Be Clearheaded,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
“What do the old forces and the old cosmos see as the gravest thing? Lust, [in the form of] sexual activity outside of marriage. That’s what they see as the most serious of things.” (Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles)
Master wants to save all sentient beings, but the old forces wanted to eliminate me because of my attachment to lust. I had such a strong attachment and committed sins because of it. The lives in the old cosmos pushed me down and tried to stop me from cultivating.
When I listened to Lecture Seven in Zhuan Falun, I had some dirty thoughts. I said to the thoughts, “You are garbage! You should be eliminated!” After I finished listening to the lecture, the old forces didn’t want to leave and kept throwing bad things into my dimensional field. They wanted to encourage me to go astray and do wrong—their goal was to ruin me. I said to them, “You did it! I don’t acknowledge it and won’t accept it!”
I now understand why I had the attachment of fear, because I know it is hard to move forward carrying such a big sin. Without Master’s merciful care and hints, I would be ruined. Now I see the old forces’ arrangement: It is they who are ruining sentient beings. It is Master who opens the door for people to be saved. How hard it is to save us!
I said to the heavenly beings, “I am Master Li’s disciple. I don’t acknowledge any other arrangements. The old forces that arranged the attachments to lust and evil thoughts should be eliminated. Please be clear: Don’t arrange anything that hinders my cultivation. I have Master and should rectify myself in Dafa. Master will cleanse me.”
I sent forth a strong thought to completely eliminate the dark minions, rotten ghosts, and the wicked CCP specter. I repeatably strengthened this thought and felt surrounded by a strong energy. Master’s Fa appeared in my mind:
“Those disciples who have stepped forward to validate the Fa in the face of pressure are magnificent.” (“Towards Consummation,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
Master has given me the best and I should treasure it, starting from treasuring the name “Dafa disciple.”
I still have attachments to selfishness and wanting a comfortable life. My goal is to improve and be diligent in cultivation. I plan to forget my old “self.” I will start to be a good person based on Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, truly cultivate, and do my utmost to save more sentient beings.
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Category: Improving Oneself
