(Minghui.org) My father, who also practiced Falun Dafa, suddenly passed away in the autumn of 2021. My mother and I were shocked. Our family began making truth-clarification materials in 2009. My mother printed booklets and brochures, while my father purchased supplies and distributed the materials to other practitioners. I focused on learning the technology aspect and also produced Dafa books for other practitioners. Our orderly division of work was abruptly disrupted, and my mother and I had to assume my father’s workload.
I reflected on my father’s cultivation state while he was still alive. He began practicing in 2003. He tragically lost his physical body before the Fa-rectification of the human world ended. My father had many attachments which he did not let go of. On the surface he did the three things Master Li (Dafa’s founder) asks us to do. But he often did not truly cultivate himself and get rid of his human notions, such as desire, emotion, and especially lust. My mother and I often reminded him to not be too attached to the human world and waste precious time on everyday people’s things. But he did not take it seriously.
Compassionate Master repeatedly gave my father opportunities to rectify himself and truly cultivate. But since he could not let go of his attachments, he was taken advantage of by the old forces and developed very serious illness karma. A number of practitioners came to our home to share experiences and sent righteous thoughts to help him. My mother and I also helped him look within. My father finally realized that he did not take Master’s compassion seriously and had let Him down. But it was too late!
Look Within to Truly Cultivate Oneself
After my father passed away, I reflected on my 20 years of cultivation and found that I had similar attachments. I was attached to fame, personal interest, and emotion.
I had a strong attachment to my father. After he passed away, I tried to restrain myself and deal with the situation rationally according to Dafa’s standards. But the old forces still used my attachments to emotion and lust to create tribulations for me. I then began having the same illness symptoms as my father.
Master said that Dafa disciples are the greatest beings in the universe. I started to practice 20 days before the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting Falun Dafa. What makes me most proud in life is becoming a Dafa disciple. Master bestowed such a great honor on me, and I wouldn’t be worthy of His and sentient beings’ great hope in me if I cannot fulfill my mission during the Fa-rectification period. Master said,
“What’s important for cultivators is righteous thoughts. When you have strong righteous thoughts, you are able to withstand anything and do anything. That’s because you are a cultivator: someone who is on a divine path and who is not controlled by the factors of ordinary people or low-level principles.” (Teachings at the Conference in Los Angeles)
When I recalled Master’s Fa, I felt all my attachments disappear, and I even let go of the thought of life and death. Compared with the emotions of the everyday world, I had a greater goal of being responsible for sentient beings.
I gradually let go of my attachment to emotion and lust. I stopped watching Korean TV dramas and ordinary people’s videos. I looked inward and tried to cultivate myself. I noticed my positive changes, and I finally understood what it meant to truly cultivate. Whenever I had difficulty eliminating attachments, I encouraged myself with Master’s Fa. Sometimes it seemed very difficult or even impossible for me to pass a test. But at least I realized I didn’t pass it and felt regret. I knew I still needed to cultivate diligently and improve myself.
Master protected me while I went through the illness karma. It took a while for the symptoms to go away. When I read other practitioners’ articles on Minghui, I realized that lust is a serious test for cultivators, and I needed to eliminate this attachment.
Cultivating Myself While Doing Technical Work
In order to better resolve the technical problems for Dafa-related work in our area, I tried to attend all the technical trainings for practitioners. I mastered various skills such as printing, recording, computer system installation, cell phone repair, video production, printer maintenance, and book production. The information on the Minghui website is helpful—it includes detailed tutorials which are easy to follow. I realized Master arranged for me to walk the path of validating the Fa using technical knowledge. I failed the computer competency test in school, but now I had mastered so much technical knowledge. I would never have been able to achieve this without Master opening my wisdom.
Providing technical support is also a process of cultivating myself. There are sometimes problems like poor cooperation and misunderstandings between fellow practitioners, as well as passing xinxing tests. I’d like to share two examples.
Since the old Windows operating system became obsolete, it needed to be upgraded to Windows 10. Practitioners started reinstalling the system in 2022. Some practitioners’ computers were eight to ten years old and no longer suitable for installing Windows 10. They needed to replace the entire computer. Yi gave Jia a computer, but the computer was too old to upgrade to Windows 10. I had a computer that could be upgraded to Windows 10 after I replaced the hard drive with a solid state drive (SSD). I had purchased a Chinese brand SSD from a computer store and installed it on my computer. After I installed everything, I got notice from the Minghui website that we should only use certain SSD brands produced outside of China in order to avoid computer security issues.
I bought a few more SSDs of the recommended brands. I then brought the computer with the Chinese brand SSD I installed, as well as the other practitioner’s old computer to the computer store. I asked the owner to replace the SSD on my computer with the foreign brand. I also wanted to return the Chinese brand SSD I bought before. Since it would bring financial loss to the store for a returned SSD, I was a little embarrassed and gave Jia’s old computer to the store as compensation. I thought that should be okay since the computer was not upgradeable.
After replacing the SSD and reinstalling the new system, I gave the computer to Jia and only asked her for the cost of replacing the SSD. Jia was very happy and did not mention the old computer. A few days later, Yi asked for the old computer that she gave Jia. I told her I had given it to the store as compensation. She immediately became angry and complained that I disposed of her computer without her permission. I said that she asked me to dispose of the old computer.
Yi expected that I would give her old computer to another practitioner. I explained that the computer was too old to upgrade to Windows 10 and would soon be obsolete. She was angry and blamed me. I realized that I should look within, as there must have been some attachment I needed to get rid of.
I asked myself why I gave Yi’s computer to the store and realized I was attached to saving face. I frequented that store and was embarrassed to return the SSD. I was driven by my self-interest, so I gave the computer to the owner, hoping he would refund me more money. He, in fact, almost fully refunded the money, and I only lost a little. The situation was caused by my xinxing issue. I admitted my mistake to Yi for not getting her permission before I gave away the computer. She then said her attitude was bad and asked for my forgiveness. The conflict between us was resolved. We continued cooperating with each other and are walking steadily on the path of helping Master in Fa-rectification.
Ling’s laptop also became obsolete, and she asked me to buy a second-hand computer. I told her I could help her dispose of the old computer and she agreed. After I bought a second-hand computer and installed the new system, she that heard the old Windows system could be used until January 2023, so she wanted her old computer back. I explained that the old computer would soon be obsolete but the second-hand computer with the new system could be used for a long time. In addition, I’d already given her computer to Yi. I also mentioned that the second-hand computer had been discounted when I bought it. She did not say anything.
In fact, I was the one who paid for the second-hand computer. During the first incident, I caused a loss to Yi. I ended up giving Ling’s computer to Yi because that computer’s configuration matched her old computer. In the end, I compensated Ling for the cost of her old computer. I understood this happened because I had an attachment to saving face and losing money. I knew I really had to get rid of those attachments.
During this past year, I suffered because of the loss of my father, but I reflected on my omissions and continued striving to do the three things well. I will firmly remember Master’s teachings, study and memorize the Fa well, and walk righteously on my path of Dafa cultivation during the Fa-rectification period. I want to be worthy of Master’s compassionate salvation and sentient beings’ hope.
Above is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself
