(Minghui.org) Practicing Falun Dafa was difficult for me. I thought I studied the Fa teachings pretty well. But when I encountered conflicts, why couldn’t I handle them well? I did not know what my problem was.
Through Master Li Hongzhi’s (Dafa’s founder) hints, I understood that I did not change my human notions, so I wasn’t really cultivating myself.
Since I work in education, I formed various ordinary concepts. Master asked practitioners to guide our actions according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I tried to share these traditional values with others and used them to educate my son. However, many times, the educational principles I adhered to failed when I tried to impose them on him. He did not accept what I said. At first, I thought that it must be difficult to return to tradition when the world is so corrupt. After a while, I realized that my methods might have been too extreme, as we couldn’t communicate.
My son read Falun Dafa books with me when he was a child. I strictly restricted his use of electronic devices and did not expose him to bad things. He was relatively well-behaved, and his grades were excellent. However, after entering middle school, under the influence of that environment, his temperament changed drastically. He became rebellious and self-centered. He constantly played with his cell phone and stopped studying the Fa. His grades dropped. I kept trying to correct him, hoping that he would stop sliding down. But the result was just the opposite, and he became even more rebellious.
While our family’s tribulations continued to increase, I could not find the root of the problem. In the end, I transferred my son to a school with stricter behavior management. I was hoping that by changing the environment, he would do better. However, he did not improve. He resented me for transferring him, and our relationship became very tense.
An Auspicious Visit
A friend recently visited me and told me about her troubles. She said all the items in her home were placed in the best positions for access (she measured the distances), and she required everyone to place everything in those fixed locations. But her parents-in-law, who came from the countryside, felt living this way was very depressing, and the family conflicts intensified.
I smiled and said, “You deprived your parents-in-law of the freedom to tidy up things.” She nodded and admitted that she was not like this before, but since she obtained her Ph.D. degree in mathematics, she unconsciously used mathematical thinking to make rigorous designs for everything. She felt the result was perfect, but her family members could not stand it.
I later thought of our conversation. Wait - wasn’t Master using my friend’s story to show me my attachments and enlighten me? Having worked in education for a long time, didn’t I have my own set of standards for how to educate children? It looked orthodox on the surface, but hidden behind this was the hope for my child to do well in ordinary people’s society.
I knew that a person’s life is arranged by gods, but I still wanted my child to grow up according to my wishes. My son felt frustrated and depressed. He often said, “You always educate me, but you don’t understand me. You never change yourself.”
I was also very confused: How could I approve of those modern and degenerate things that my son was obsessed with? They completely deviate from traditions and Dafa. I was trying to teach him to go back to tradition, was I wrong? What was I supposed to change about myself?
When I was studying the Fa, I suddenly realized that I was too attached to my son’s behavior. Focusing on him blocked the opportunities Master arranged for me to look inward and improve myself. Educating others had become a long-term habit of mine.
For so many years I was caught up with the “right and wrong” of ordinary people. I didn’t realize that all these conflicts were hints for me to improve myself!
I looked inward and found that behind all my anxiety, besides my fear that my son would become a bad person, there was also a strong attachment to my son’s grades. In the distorted educational environment in China, this is a problem that all parents must face.
However, for a practitioner, this is a test of whether one can let go of fame, fortune, and jealousy. The more one is attached to it, the more rebellious the child will be. In fact, my child’s fate is not in my hands. The desire for fame and fortune is a big obstacle for a cultivator. I realized that, in the midst of conflicts, the first thing I should do is let go of my attachment to my son’s grades and try to let nature take its course.
Practitioners can’t just preach to our children, let alone use force. We can only advise them to be good.
Facing my son’s rebellious behavior, I really felt it was an opportunity for me to cultivate a heart of compassion and tolerance.
When my son behaved badly, I looked inward and tried to see what I did that was not in line with the Fa, and where I should correct myself. When I changed my educational concepts from an ordinary person’s mindset and began evaluating the issues as a cultivator, I found that all the problems exposed by my son were problems in my cultivation state. When I wanted to relax and be comfortable, my son slept and ate a lot; when I did not cultivate my speech, my son complained all the time; When I was obsessed with fame and wealth, my son did the same.
On the surface, how parents educate their children, whether they are practitioners or not, looks the same. But the essence is completely different. I felt that our energy fields were connected. When I worked hard to eliminate my attachments in certain areas, I felt my body and mind change, and my son also behaved better.
Sometimes, when my son was particularly rebellious, I would try my best to let go of it and not provoke his negative side. When I kept calm and observed silently, I clearly felt that Master was arranging everything.
After my son was transferred to the new school, his classroom teacher told him: “Your family hopes you will avoid detours, but detours are opportunities to grow.” I knew this was Master giving me another hint. Either in my son’s growth or my own cultivation, in fact, I constantly enlightened and improved through stumbling. I still have many attachments I need to get rid of, and my son will also encounter setbacks and trials he needs to pass when he grows up. I should let go of my protective attitude towards him and cultivate myself.
Although there are still conflicts between us, he is still affected by modern trends. However, my heart became peaceful. The relationship between me and my son improved. He also behaved better. I knew I was on the right track, and compassionate Master helped eliminate the bad elements interfering with us.
Eliminating Ordinary People’s Notions
For a long time, I was troubled by the fact that I did not have enough righteous thoughts, and I could not eliminate my negative thoughts.
At work, there were often organized activities to praise the CCP (Chinese Communist Party). I often sent righteous thoughts to deny the old forces’ arrangement, but I did not see obvious results. I didn’t know what to do. I finally understood that I did not fully believe in Master and the Fa. I never jumped out of human reasoning. When encountering problems, I habitually thought about ordinary people’s concepts and got stuck in specific things. How could I deny the old forces this way?
Master told us to completely deny the old forces’ arrangements. How could I do it?
Every year, my workplace organized employees to participate in the “Red Song” (songs to praise the CCP) competition, and everyone was required to participate. This year was the same. During the first rehearsal, I tried my best to reject it in my mind and sent forth righteous thoughts to deny it. However, I was unable to jump out of ordinary people’s notions, so the effect was not good. I examined my thoughts and found that I thought those activities to praise the CCP were required and inevitable. As a result, I went home with a headache. I sat up in bed and sent a righteous thought, “This ‘Red Song’ competition is harmful to people. Saving people is the most important thing. The old forces cannot do this. Master has the final say. All evil that persecutes sentient beings must be disintegrated!”
With this thought, my headache stopped. The following week, the “Red Song” competition was canceled.
I realized that I habitually approved of ordinary people’s working methods, and my base point was rooted in ordinary concepts. This was why it was difficult for me to deny the old forces’ arrangements. Once my base point was switched to saving people, everything was different. When I thought of Master, things were even more different.
I came across a practitioner’s sharing article. As soon as the practitioner thought, “What have I done that was not in line with the Fa?” many things immediately changed. From this, I understood the key is that when we encounter problems, we either think and act according to ordinary people’s thinking or let go of our human notions and trust Master’s arrangement. Dafa disciples are cultivators, and they follow supernormal principles. Dafa is omnipotent. Only when we put Dafa first, put saving people first, and listen to Master are we able to step out of human thinking and have righteous thoughts.
Cultivating One’s Speech
In ordinary people’s society, it is natural for relatives and friends to ask each other about their well-being and help each other. Since I was a child, I was always popular and enthusiastically helped others. However, I gradually discovered that this characteristic of mine has become a huge obstacle to my improvement in cultivation. Not only did my efforts to help others fail in the end, but it also caused a lot of trouble in my own cultivation.
I noticed a colleague walking very slowly with her back straightened and stiff. I asked her what was wrong. She said that she had a herniated lumbar disc, and she could not even walk until recently. I advised her to rest more.
A few days later, I saw her picking up her child from school. She was carrying the child’s schoolbag, while the child was bouncing around empty-handed. I said to the child, “Your mother has a bad back, don’t let her carry your schoolbag.” That evening, I told my mother about it without thinking of cultivating my speech. Suddenly, my left side hurt very badly. It became so painful that I couldn’t stand or sit. The only position I could tolerate was half-lying on the bed. It took several days to recover after intensifying my Fa study, doing the exercises, and sending righteous thoughts.
Another day, I was eating noodles in the cafeteria. A colleague came over, and I invited her to join me. She said she had no appetite. I said, “You should eat something, or at least get a cup of soy milk.” My colleague smiled and waved her hands and left. When I continued to eat my noodles, I suddenly lost my appetite and felt nauseous. I had the same symptom as my colleague!
I enrolled my son in a tutoring program and felt the result was pretty good. Then my desire for fame and showing off grew. I enthusiastically told the other parents. Unexpectedly, the effect was not good, and I received complaints from those families. And after a while, my son also quit. His grades did not improve much, and in the end, everyone stopped going.
After cultivating for so many years, I still did not look at things from the perspective of a cultivator. I was simply a good person among ordinary people. My attachments caused a lot of unnecessary troubles and even tribulations in my own cultivation.
I came to understand, regarding ordinary people’s affairs, a cultivator should not comment on them at will, let alone casually meddle in them.
I remembered that during the U.S. election in 2020, although we are in China, many practitioners - me included - sent righteous thoughts and supported the side we believed to be righteous.
Master then published “Greetings to the Taiwan Fa Conference”:
“ ... Though a battle between good and evil is taking place, you have to ensure that you do not let it negatively affect you, and should do even better at getting the truth out and saving people. And as you work to raise awareness, you must be sure not to think or act too much like an ordinary person. Only by staying clear on what you are doing will you manage to not get caught up in things and do even better.” (“Greetings to the Taiwan Fa Conference”)
As practitioners, we should clarify the truth, expose the evil, and validate Dafa. How could I get caught up in ordinary people’s things?
Do Not Get Caught Up in Political Commentary
Some time ago, my residential district became a high-risk area for COVID. It was locked down and residents were not allowed to leave. In order to keep informed, I joined the social media group for homeowners in the community.
With the increase of positive cases in the community, there were two opinions in the homeowner group. One was against the CCP’s strict “Zero-COVID” policy and wanted the lockdown lifted; The other group supported the CCP’s “Zero-COVID” policy. In the beginning, I only read the comments but did not post anything myself. After seeing all kinds of corrupt behaviors (from CCP officials) when carrying out the “Zero-COVID” policy, I became more and more disgusted.
One day, I re-posted a message in the group exposing the chaos of the CCP’s “Zero-COVID” Internet blockade and soon won the support and approval of several homeowners. The next day, I saw that the property director and several homeowners whose units reached “Zero-COVID” condemned what I posted. The entire day, they repeatedly forwarded various “official” messages from the CCP, instructing the homeowners to cooperate with the Party.
That afternoon, a new positive case appeared in the district, causing the units which were unlocked to be locked down again. The property director and all the property management staff were taken away for quarantine.
From this incident, I really felt that whoever supports the CCP will have a bad experience – they may be infected with COVID, or encounter other troubles.
I also realized that I was partially responsible. I calmed down and looked inward. How can I be righteous and not get caught up in ordinary people’s affairs?
I came to understand: Dafa disciples live among ordinary people. On the surface, we must conform to the principles of justice among human beings, so it is right to oppose the CCP’s “Zero-COVID” policy. But a cultivator is completely different from ordinary people. Ordinary people fight to protect their rights in order to benefit themselves. Practitioners, on the other hand, take saving people as their basis. Although we support ordinary people seeking justice, we are not attached to right and wrong among human beings. We definitely should not confront ordinary people.
Those who supported the CCP’s “Zero-COVID” policy were mostly elderly or people with bad health. They worried about their health, but they didn’t know how to avoid the virus, so they were easily deceived by the CCP. They are all pitiable sentient beings. When I posted the information to the group, I had the fighting mentality of defending right and wrong among people. As a result, I stirred up the negative sides of those people, intensified their behavior of defending the CCP, and caused them to suffer retribution.
I also came to understand: When facing the battle between good and evil, practitioners support justice, but we have no enemies. We need to change our human thinking and let go of ordinary people’s concepts of right and wrong. Only by doing so can we cultivate compassion and save more sentient beings.
When I understood this, my heart was at peace, even though I had been locked down at home for more than 20 days.
The next day, the “Zero-COVID” policy ended. Our district’s lockdown was lifted. When I looked at the homeowners’ group website, I found people were expressing their gratitude to one other. They were grateful to the property staff for their hard work and door-to-door service during the lockdown, and grateful to the neighbors for their friendship and mutual assistance during the difficult time. Everything is under Master’s control, and I enlightened more on how to position myself.
Master taught us that a cultivator should always look within. I came to understand the key step is to change my ordinary people’s thinking.
These are my personal understandings. Please point out anything improper.
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Category: Improving Oneself
