(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa to cure a severe illness. I had been reading Zhuan Falun for a while when I came across the phrase:
“...a practitioner should refrain from fighting back.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
I felt that this was an impossible goal and wanted to give up. I practiced the fifth exercise for only half an hour and was then so exhausted that I fell asleep. When I opened my eyes, it was already dawn. I had not slept so well in three years.
At that time, I only had the thought of “being a good person and practicing diligently.” I wanted only to sleep well every night. I distributed truth-clarification materials to villagers’ homes at night, and I assumed this would be sufficient to meet the standard for a practitioner. Merciful Master still purified my body, and I regained my health.
This was at the height of the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) persecution, and I practiced alone. I paid attention only to practicing the exercises and did not realize the importance of studying the Fa. I also did not know how to prioritize my cultivation and spent my days farming the fields, cooking, and going to work. I later had to care for my grandson and granddaughter. I gradually merged into ordinary human society and adopted behaviors that ran counter to the teachings of Dafa.
I lost a lot of weight in 2019, felt dizzy, and suffered pain all over my body. I visited a physiotherapy shop for a scalp massage. After the treatment, my vision became blurry and I began to drift in and out of consciousness. I suffered heart palpitations, and my throat and eyes became incredibly dry. My body felt weak and I started shivering. It was as though I was covered by a terrible, invisible substance that caused me to lose control. The notion of committing suicide kept floating into my head. I could not eat and kept vomiting sour, black, bloody fluid. I was dizzy and weak.
My understanding of the Fa was weak, so I did not try to find my way out of this predicament using the principles of the Fa. Instead, I stepped up my exercise regime. My symptoms would recede then flare up again. I went to the hospital when the pain was unbearable. A full body diagnostic check revealed nothing, and the doctors eventually persuaded me to leave the hospital. I then relied on some Chinese medicine to relieve the symptoms for a while. But my condition would flare up again after a few days.
Throughout this Master’s teachings often appeared in my mind. One day, I suddenly realized, “Isn’t Master trying to enlighten me? I’m not sick, so why am I taking medicine? I am a Dafa practitioner, and Dafa practitioners do not fall ill. I want to regard myself as a cultivator, I want to cultivate!”
Integrating Into a Fa Study Group, Truly Cultivating in Earnest
I started attending a Fa-study group near my son’s home. Having not met other practitioners before, I had thought my cultivation level was passable. However, I quickly felt ashamed. A simple word or action from these fellow practitioners was sometimes enough to make me feel embarrassed.
Before practicing Dafa, I had a bad relationship with my mother-in-law. After learning Dafa, I knew that our poor relationship stemmed from past karmic debts, though I only dealt with it superficially and did not resolve the issue in my heart. I overheard a fellow practitioner comment one day, “Don’t worry. Even if no one is willing to care for my mother-in-law, I will share all I have, even if it’s a single bowl of rice.” This simple, selfless sentence touched me greatly.
I began to actively change my thoughts and actions, eliminating my resentment toward my mother-in-law and replacing it with filial piety. I invited my mother-in-law to live with us. As my husband is a very filial son to his mother, I tried to listen to him and follow him. I was a self-centered, rebellious person, but I became more open-minded and learned to expand my capacity to accommodate others. I also started to be more caring toward my husband.
From this experience I uncovered many attachments, including resentment, lust, seeking revenge, snatching benefits, narrow-mindedness, selfishness, and more. Although I felt like an exhausted person trying to climb a steep ladder, I was determined to follow Master’s teachings and advance in cultivation, regardless of the difficulties.
I learned how to search within according to the principles of the Fa and strengthen my righteous thoughts. Through group Fa study and listening to experience sharing articles, I gradually understood the requirements for cultivation practice and began to apply them to my everyday life.
A fellow practitioner shared about her extreme suffering while being tortured in prison. Despite her pain, her faith in Master and the Fa remained steadfast as she adhered to Dafa’s teachings. Her faith shook the evil greatly and demonstrated the strength of righteous thoughts.
Another practitioner talked about being persecuted and force-fed in prison until her mouth bled profusely. Yet she refused to give in to the evil’s demands and continued to protect a fellow practitioner. These practitioners’ firm righteous thoughts, selflessness, and strength of belief in the face of death deeply moved my heart.
Compared to their experiences, my sickness karma seemed relatively minor. I vowed to overcome my fear of death, reject this old force arrangement, and live my life normally, putting my faith in Master and the Fa.
I resumed eating and was able to keep my food down, although I felt some slight discomfort. I gradually regained the ability to eat normally. Having failed to eat for seven to eight months, I had lost more than 20 kilograms (44 pounds). Now at 55 kilograms (121 pounds), I am on my way back to my original weight.
Merging Into the Whole and Cultivating in the Fa-Rectification Period
Fellow practitioners helped me compile a complete set of Master’s collected teachings around the word, helped me correct the words in the books, and even helped me set up my computer so I could access and download experience sharing articles from the Minghui website. I also learned how to officially submit the names of people who wanted to quit the CCP. I would like to express my gratitude for their selfless help.
Through Fa study sessions, experience sharing discussions, and listening to Minghui sharing articles, I gained a clearer understanding about the Fa principles, how to search inward, and how to regard the various issues in life as opportunities to improve my character. I started to measure my thoughts and actions with the Fa and rectify any errors. Despite falling short, I am determined to remove my flaws and cultivate diligently.
In the past, I limited my truth clarification to relatives, friends, and close acquaintances. I sometimes visited nearby villages to distribute truth-clarification materials, put up stickers, hang banners, or spray paint slogans. After seeing fellow practitioners in my Fa study group clarifying the truth face-to-face, I started yearning to do the same. Master must have seen my determination, and arranged for me to meet an enthusiastic, diligent, older female practitioner, who showed me the ropes. Shy and introverted in character, I had to learn to initiate conversations with strangers, while removing my attachments to pride and fear.
I was initially selective in the people I tried to approach, but I gradually became proficient in talking to anyone on the streets. I remember attempting to clarify the facts at a supermarket for the first time. As soon as I saw the densely-packed crowd of customers, my heart skipped a beat in fear. With so many people present, I wondered how could I approach them to clarify the facts. Fellow practitioners had successfully done so, so I overcame my fear and attempted to approach people. The two people I approached refused to accept what I said. One lady even created a ruckus, attracting the attention of supermarket staff. I remained unafraid and calmly bid her goodbye before leaving.
I realized that my impatience had hampered my efforts. Faced with the crowded supermarket, the desire to help them all withdraw from the CCP as soon as possible had arisen. But over time, I gained plenty of insight and experience. Kindness can form an energy field that corrects imbalances, while influencing and changing people’s attitudes. This compassion can be sensed by others, and many times people have accepted my words and expressed their sincere gratitude.
Merging Into the Group and Cultivating Well
Our group of practitioners practice the exercises at 3 a.m. each day, send forth righteous thoughts four times a day, clarify the truth to sentient beings each morning, and study the Fa every afternoon. The group has adhered to this schedule for more than ten years, which inspired me to catch up and do better.
I pay attention to the little things in daily life, ensuring that each thought remains selfless. In the past, I would attempt to bargain for a few cents discount at each place that I shopped. I now bring spare change with me and try to give the full amount as much as possible, since it is also not easy for these sellers to earn a living. I no longer control our family savings, and our expenditures are openly disclosed.
Our home is a good environment for cultivating and improving in levels. My daughter-in-law once started scolding my son in my presence, and I retained my calm composure. On another occasion, I returned from visiting my hometown to find that my towels and sandals had been thrown out. Even then, I remained calm. Our relationship has now improved. My daughter-in-law has started calling me “mom,” and even calls me to eat during mealtimes.
Master rescued me from the depths of hell, held my hand, and gave me a new life. I resolve to follow Master’s teachings, do well the three things, and truly cultivate myself.
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