(Minghui.org) Some practitioners close to me have gone through illness-karma tribulations in recent years. I also experienced two life and death trials. I couldn’t have made the breakthrough without Master Li’s protection. Due to my limited cultivation level, I’d like to share my understanding.
By the time I truly began practicing Falun Dafa, the persecution had already begun. With my faith in Master and Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, I set up a truth-clarification material production center. At that time, production centers were very few, yet informational pamphlets about the persecution were in high demand. Due to the tremendous amount of work, I lagged behind in studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I also had no time to review the contents I printed. When it came time for Fa-study, I couldn’t stop making the pamphlets, and could only have my sister read the Fa to me. Because of my slacking off, I was persecuted by being imprisoned for three years. At the time, I had no idea how I could overcome this tribulation.
Overcoming Two Illness-Karma Tribulations
I was released during a week-long public holiday. I experienced heart-wrenching pain in my ear that quickly spread throughout my head. My head became swollen to the point where I couldn’t even open my eyes. It felt as if something flew down inside my forehead. I experienced itchiness, throbbing pain, and high fever. It felt as if I was wearing a needle hat on my head. With the throbbing pain, even the roots of my hair trembled like needles. Something also flowed out from the roots of my hair and formed hard scabs. When I invited a practitioner to my home, he was so scared upon seeing my face that he thought I must have been in a car accident.
My main consciousness wasn’t clear, and I was muddle-headed. My sister had to use a damp face towel to bring down my temperature. Out of instinct, I cast away the face towel. All I could do was to put earbuds in my ears and play Master’s lectures. I kept listening to them for days and nights; it was like Master was by my side. So no matter whether I was conscious or asleep, I could take the teachings to heart and always heard Master’s voice. The feeling was just like a baby in its mother's arms!
A doctor came to see me, and he was petrified upon seeing my face. He exclaimed, “You have guts! This is a brain abscess, did you know that?” But my mind was empty. I didn’t take what he said to heart at all. I’m not sure when it started, but I felt my home inside was very cold and knew it wasn’t right! It was such a hot day outside, and I was wearing a sweater with a blanket over my legs. I wondered how this could happen? I asked my son to play some songs composed by practitioners.
While hearing these songs that conveyed the beauty of Dafa, my heart and soul were shaken! When I heard my favorite song, I cried for no reason. The sadness was beyond words. It was as if everything I had been through during the cycles of birth and reincarnation was explained to me by Master in that moment.
That night, my pain was suddenly alleviated, and all the other symptoms quickly vanished. After the holiday was over, I went back to work.
The second tribulation came on soon after I came out of the detention center. At 10 p.m., I went to my bed to get something, and the lower right side of my rib cage suddenly hurt terribly. After I knelt down, I couldn’t move. When my son saw me, he climbed onto the bed to help support me. It got more painful, to the point where I had a hard time breathing. My difficulty breathing made me lose sense of the extreme pain. All I thought about was my effort to take in a breath. Inhaling half a breath was very difficult. My son held me like this for two hours. I was completely immobile.
In a daze, I heard the alarm sound for sending forth righteous thoughts. My weakened main consciousness told me: “It’s time to send forth righteous thoughts!” I then began to wholeheartedly recite the formulas for sending forth righteous thoughts. But before this thought could be completed, my consciousness drifted away! A weak thought then emerged: “Master! I want to breathe! With this desperate thought, I came back! Benevolent Master brought me back from the brink of death!
Gradually, I was able to breathe, and then I slowly moved my body. I sat up at the top of the bed, and then leaned against the duvet. I couldn’t lie down for a few days, but kept on listening to Master’s audio recordings. At that time, even if I leaned just a little lower, I couldn’t breathe. That’s when I realized that human beings are so fragile!
From the beginning to the end, I didn’t try to lie down during the daytime and did the things I was supposed to do. I could only move slowly due to the pain and swelling. It felt as if I was going to explode, and taking in a breath was extremely difficult.
When I studied the Fa, I had to stop to draw in a breath after reading every few words. I couldn’t make the informational materials then because it hurt when I moved, and I lacked the strength to press down on the stapler. I also had trouble urinating and was unable to sip water, as I couldn’t suck it into my mouth.
However, Master told us that nothing happens by accident in our cultivation. So I tried my best not to think about anything and just do well with what I could according to Master’s requirements. Tribulations can be likened to eating beets one day and bitter melon the next. They are something we have to get over. Then 10 days after the ordeal started, my symptoms were gone!
Reflections on Illness-Karma Tribulations
I have read many experience-sharing articles by practitioners about passing illness-karma trials. I wondered how they did so well, yet I passed two tribulations with very little enlightening?
Through Fa-study, I came to understand that the reason I was able to pass these trials was I never had the thought of being ill, nor related it to an ordinary person’s illness. After my son read Zhuan Falun only once, his congenital atrial defect disappeared. That was 27 years ago, and he’s never had a relapse. When I was illegally detained at the detention center, my son was home alone. He had three days of colic from hydronephrosis, but his kidney stones discharged naturally. He did not even have to take a day off work.
All these experiences were under benevolent Master’s protection. With my peaceful and composed mindset, I managed to negate the old forces’ arrangement with my faith in Master and Dafa.
I’ve observed that some practitioners felt depressed and were always tense when facing ordinary, day-to-day hardships. If there came along an illness karma tribulation, they then just couldn’t take it! Our cultivation path should help one become more capable of facing tests with a composed mindset. Master told us:
“Whatever you experience during your cultivation—whether good or bad—is good ...” (“To the Chicago Fa Conference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
Then why should practitioners feel down?
Of course, amid any tribulation, one may still suffer and be in pain. However, one’s body is already releasing a great deal of karma. Why does one need to add a mental burden for oneself? Isn’t this just adding on one more tribulation?
Practitioners who are in illness karma tribulations, please think about it: Isn’t a practitioner’s illness-karma tribulation something supernatural? Can one address it by using ordinary means? When one has accumulated a great deal of illness karma and resorts to an ordinary person’s treatment, will that truly resolve the issue on a fundamental level?
Letting Go of False Notions
There was a practitioner who had heart disease prior to practicing Dafa, and she was healed through cultivation. She experienced a relapse in prison in 2002. After she was bailed out, she steadily walked her cultivation path for nearly 20 years. She had nosebleeds appear the year before, but we all felt that she had cultivated well and didn’t take the symptoms to heart. Everyone thought she would be fine.
However, soon afterward, she appeared to a stroke and was taken to the hospital by her family. Her situation was rather complex because she had symptoms of both bleeding and blockage, as well as complications from heart disease. The doctors found it difficult to save her. Moreover, she was already unconscious. Practitioners went to the hospital to support her by sending forth righteous thoughts. Afterward, they accompanied her back home to study the Fa and do the exercises.
Under Master’s compassionate saving grace, she almost fully recovered and could go to the Fa-study group on her own. The only issue was that she had lost some mobility. However, she said that her recovery was because her son spent a large amount of money to save her. Other practitioners tried to correct her thought. But she refused to share with practitioners. A year later, she had repeated relapses. In the end, she harbored many regrets and passed away.
Master said:
“In fact, other than a person’s innate purity and innocence, all notions are acquired postnatally and are not a person’s actual self.” (“For Whom do You Exist?” Essentials for Further Advancement)
Why would we want to hold onto those false notions that are not us to begin with? How wonderful it would be to maintain a pure heart!
We should put our hearts into studying the Fa with a peaceful mind, without thinking about whether we will get better or not. It’s like what a fellow practitioner wrote in an experience sharing article: How can we overcome the old forces’ persecution? In cultivation, when we have strong will power, study and recite the Fa intensively every day, could the evil then dare to come close to us? Would there be illness karma? When we all have the Fa in our minds and assimilate ourselves to the Fa, we can manage to get over every tribulation. When your path has reached this stage, you can overcome every tribulation.
Right on! This is very well said! Let’s walk our path righteously, study the Fa more and have it fill every cell in our body, so Master will worry less about us.
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Category: Improving Oneself
