(Minghui.org) Whenever family issues surfaced, I would think: Why is it that other practitioners enjoy happy family lives and their children are successful adults?
Through cultivation, I understood everything that happens, good or bad, has to do with repaying karma. By eliminating sentimentality, I truly experienced the greatness of Falun Dafa’s founder, Master Li Hongzhi, and the power of Dafa. I’d like to tell you about an incident that helped change my mindset. I stopped looking outward, and eliminated my attachments through cultivation.
Understanding What It Means to Truly Practice Cultivation
I decided to practice Falun Dafa after hearing how it can help resolve illness and keep one healthy. I thought: How can I pass up such a good opportunity? After witnessing the positive changes in me, my husband decided to begin practicing. His health improved. With two healthy parents, our daughter also benefited.
In July 1999, led by former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) head Jiang Zemin, the CCP launched a relentless persecution against millions of Falun Dafa practitioners. Unable to withstand the terror and fear, my husband’s will to cultivate withered. He had symptoms of cerebral thrombosis (stroke) and passed away.
This painful experience did not discourage me. Instead, I increased my efforts to read the Fa with a calm mind. Master’s teachings are easy to understand, yet broad and profound. In the past, I did not understand the deeper meaning of Falun Dafa’s principles. As I continued to read the teachings I discovered that my husband and I were cultivating with a strong desire of seeking protection from Dafa. When we encountered problems, we did not search inward and identify and eliminate our attachments. Our minds were not on the Fa when we read Zhuan Falun. When we encountered difficulties we did not see them as opportunities to improve our xinxing.
Master reminds us in every one of his lectures the importance of Fa study. I felt ashamed. Only by diligently studying the Fa, cultivating my xinxing and saving more people, could I be worthy of being called Master’s true disciple.
My Daughter Changed After I Cultivated Compassion
While I was completely occupied by Fa study and telling people about the persecution, the old forces used my daughter to interfere with me.
My daughter worked in another city, and she called every few days to ask for money. Each time, she asked for a larger amount.
It was not until I questioned her repeatedly that she admitted she needed money to pay her credit card debt. I used my entire savings, nearly 100,000 yuan to pay the debt. It still wasn’t enough to pay it off, so I asked her to come home.
At home, my daughter continued asking for money. She followed me around all day: “...give me money, give me money...” It was as if she were possessed. Not only did she not look for a job, she slept all day, did not help out with chores, and played on her cell phone at night. She stayed in her room and refused to come out for meals or speak to me. Seeing her behavior, I had mixed feelings of anger, resentment, and pity. I kept on blaming her instead of looking inward. The more I used a non-practitioner’s reasoning, the worse the situation became.
The lawyer and people from the bank called me every day for payment. My heart shivered when I heard my cellphone ring. My life was a mess. My resentment grew day by day. I hated my daughter for disappointing me. She was kind to others but bullied her widowed mother. The more I thought about the situation, the sadder I became.
One night, seeing my daughter playing on her cell phone, I flew into a rage. I grabbed it. She asked for it back, but I refused. She put on her coat and ran outside. Running after her in my bare feet, I slipped and fell on the ice. She stopped running and came inside with me.
When I was not looking, she went out again. I followed her. No matter what I said, she refused to come home. I did not know what else to do, so I asked another practitioner who had a car to look for her. That practitioner tried to speak to my daughter, but she refused to come home. It was after midnight and very cold. I felt bad because the other practitioner was standing outside in the freezing cold, so the two of us went back. I begged Master to help my child.
I looked for my daughter the next morning, but could not find her. A few practitioners came to help later in the day. She was nowhere to be found. It was not until then that I realized it was the old forces using my sentimentality to stir up interference. I put down my human thoughts. Everyone has his/her own fate. I left everything in Master’s hands: whatever will be will be. My daughter came home later that afternoon.
Through talking to other practitioners, my mindset changed. I was no longer stuck in the non-practitioner’s mindset. Practitioners should handle problems based on the Fa’s principles. Unpleasant experiences are actually opportunities for us to look inward. Every issue can be resolved with Dafa’s compassion.
One practitioner suggested I cover my daughter’s debt. Another practitioner felt it was fraud. She reasoned that my daughter is a good person, but was deceived by the bank. I should not rush to pay the money. Instead, when the bank staff called I should ask them for their names and try to speak to them with compassion.
Sure enough, when the lawyer called, I spoke to him about how complex society has become, and that some young people felt so hopeless that they committed suicide. Furthermore, I said I had no obligation to pay my child’s debt. I hoped he could understand what it is like to be a parent. He never called again.
A young woman called asking for payment. I asked for her name. She said she could not tell me her name. I said, “If you work for a respectable business, then why can’t you tell me your name?” She stopped calling. Another woman introduced herself as the lawyer for the bank. She asked for my address and threatened to send people to ransack my home. I thought: It would be better to address this issue in person, so I gave her my address. Nothing happened. That was the end of it.
The way I looked at my daughter also changed.
Master taught us:
“Going through hardship and suffering is an outstanding opportunity to remove karma, be cleansed of sin, purify the body, elevate your plane of thought, and rise in level—it’s an extraordinarily good thing. This is a correct and upright Fa-truth. But as cultivation is lived out, when the suffering bears down on you and conflicts come up that hit upon the deepest part of you—and especially when it rattles the rigid notions you have—the test is really hard to pass. It can even be to the point that you know full well it’s a test but still can’t let go of your attachments.” (“The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be” from The Essentials of Diligent Progress III)
Through this experience I realized I had to get rid of my rigid notions and see everything based on the Fa. Analyzing the situation from a practitioner’s point of view, I realized my child was helping to improve my cultivation. I suddenly understood her suffering and pitied her. I stopped blaming and hating her. Instead, I took the time to guide her from her point of view: “You are a good child. Society is so chaotic, sometimes bad things happen even if we are careful. What’s more, you just started to live on your own, I was not with you. I am partially responsible for that... in the future, think things through before you act. Talk to family more, you have learned a life lesson... let this pass and we’ll start fresh.”
She listened quietly. Tears streamed down her face. One morning, she said she had a dream. She said she was sitting in a big chair in a place that looked like a fancy restaurant. A voice said, “Not everyone gets to see this.” Then the entire room was filled with spinning Falun. I said, “Compassionate Master is encouraging you!” My daughter returned to her old, kind self. She found a job and is working.
I want to thank Master for teaching me the Fa and protecting me through tribulations! I also want to thank fellow practitioners for their selfless help!
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Category: Improving Oneself
