(Minghui.org) Su Shi (1037 – 1101) during the Song Dynasty was regarded as one of the most accomplished figures in classical Chinese literature. He once wrote, “In ancient times, the moral character of a remarkable man was so exceptional that he could tolerate what ordinary people could not bear. Someone who draws his sword to fight when he is insulted cannot be called a warrior (because he has only courage but no wisdom). A true warrior does not panic in an emergency nor does he rage when he is insulted for no reason. This is because he has great ambitions and very lofty aspirations.”
Suppose someone is verbally abused or insulted. As long as it is not a fundamental issue of right and wrong, tolerating it without losing one’s temper is the wise thing to do. If one can endure embarrassment and deal with conflicts calmly, he can solve the problem well. People usually find a better solution if they can take a step back when facing a conflict.
Tolerance is an excellent way to avoid disasters and earn blessings. It can be difficult to do, but when facing setbacks and humiliation, a calm, generous, and rational response will often turn things around.
Drain the Cup of Humiliation
Lou Shide (630-699), a minister during two generations of the Tang Dynasty, was known for his prudence and tolerance.
Lou Shide’s younger brother was appointed as the governor of Dai province. When he was getting ready to leave and assume his post, Lou Shide brought up a delicate concern: “I am the prime minister and you now serve as a governor. The honorable positions we hold might make people jealous of our family. How should we avoid becoming their target?” His brother said, “In the future, even if someone spits in my face, I won’t retaliate. I will just wipe the spit away. Please don’t worry about me.”
Lou Shide said, “This is exactly why I am worried. People spit in your face because they are angry at you. By wiping the spit away, you are telling them you were upset, which will make them angrier. You should accept it with a smile, let the spittle dry by itself, and not wipe it off.”
Later, the phrase “the spittle dries by itself” was used to describe a person who, when he is insulted, can endure it with an open mind.
Lou Shide had recommended that Di Renjie be the prime minister, but Di knew nothing about it. Instead, he excluded Lou and made him leave the capital to serve elsewhere.
The empress at the time, Wu Zetian, once asked Di if he thought Lou Shide was wise. Di said, “When he was a general, he was prudent and carried out his duties. If he was wise or not, I don’t know.”
The empress then asked Di if he thought Lou Shide was good at recognizing talent.Di said, “I worked with him in the past and have never heard that he is good at recognizing talent.”
The empress said, “The reason I appointed you prime minister was because Lou Shide recommended you. It seems he does know people.”
The empress then showed Di the letters of recommendation Lou had written. Ashamed, Di sighed, “Lou is very virtuous—and he was so tolerant of me. I am nobody compared to him!”
Cheng Yi, a famous scholar, and educator in the Song Dynasty (1033-1107), said, “To tolerate what others cannot tolerate, to forgive what others cannot forgive. Only those people who have the wisdom and extraordinarily broad mind can make it.”
Lou Shide was tolerant and generous. He was so tolerant that the “spittle dried by itself.” As a chancellor and a famous general in the Tang Dynasty, Lou’s noble character, prudence, and forbearance were recorded in the history books for future generations.
(To be continued)
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Category: Traditional Culture
