(Minghui.org) A proverb in Northeast China, “backing the blame” refers to a situation where a person is wronged and can only bear it silently. These past few days, I found myself being blamed for something I did not do. I felt depressed and confused, which affected my sleep and appetite. As someone who is on a spiritual journey, I believe such feelings are intentionally targeting my cultivation. It's an opportunity to look inward and upgrade my level.
I attended a wedding banquet for a coworker’s child on November 13, 2022. Another coworker sat beside me and told me that she gave someone a gift when the person’s daughter got married, but when her son got married, that person did not give a gift. I understood she was giving me a hint. Indeed, I didn’t bring a gift when her son married. However, I remember there was reason that she didn’t give any gifts when my daughter married. I wondered if she remembered incorrectly and was confused.
As soon as I returned home, I recited the Fa, but I couldn’t calm down. The situation kept resurfacing in my mind. I also felt various attachments start to rise within me. I thought she would discuss the matter with other coworkers, and the more I thought about it, the more worried I became, thinking, “Won’t this damage my reputation?” I decided to call another coworker, Fang, who knew about the situation. Fang had seen the list of gifts that were sent for my daughter’s wedding and knew that I didn’t receive a gift from that coworker. Fang immediately confirmed this and said, “You should take a photo of the gift list and send it to her.” I replied, “Wouldn’t that lead to a conflict?” She said, “Then you’ll have to live with the blame.”
I knew I wouldn’t send the list to that coworker. I looked inward and realized that this conflict was my fault. As a cultivator, I shouldn’t engage in conflicts like an ordinary person would, and should let go of my pursuit of fame and gain. I decided to respond with kindness and tolerance and let go of the mindset of fighting. I decided to bear the blame happily.
I continued to recite the Fa, felt relieved, and knew that at least Fang could vouch for my innocence. However, one sentence from Master’s teachings struck me. Master said,
“One must maintain a righteous mind; no one can practice cultivation for another. Only when you truly practice cultivation on your own can you upgrade your level.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
I repeatedly recited those words, as if Master was telling me repeatedly, “One must maintain a righteous mind.” The “mind” that Master spoke of should be a mind of compassion, forbearance, enlightenment, and selflessness. I was startled to realize that I hadn’t achieved any of those qualities. Thinking about the incident that just happened however, I still believed that my colleague was wrong. I was seeking an answer externally by looking for another person’s faults. I was the one who accepted the “blame” and had been wronged. I failed to see it from the perspective of a cultivator and didn’t ask why the “blame” fell on me. There must be a problem within myself.
I asked myself, “Have I maintained a righteous mind? Have I cultivated according to the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance? Am I still a cultivator? Am I still Master’s disciple? Can I become an enlightened being in the future?” I examined myself once again and realized that my colleague is a good person. When I clarified the truth to her, she quit the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations, which meant she had been saved. I tried to see things from her perspective. Perhaps, in her memory, she gave me a gift, otherwise, she wouldn’t have mentioned it to me. I thought to myself, if she misunderstood me or misunderstood Dafa because of my response to her regarding the gifts, I would have pushed her downward, which would be a serious issue. Saving one life was equivalent to saving an entire universe. At that moment, I realized it was an opportunity for me to let go of my attachments and upgrade my xinxing.
An enlightened being is filled with compassion and selflessness, and everything he does is for the sake of others. Yet here I was, being overly concerned with personal interests and measuring myself with ordinary standards. If my foundation for cultivation is incorrect, if I only focus on improving others and neglect my own cultivation, I will never make progress.
In the vast sea of people, I met my colleague and worked with her; so we must have had connections in previous lifetimes and I might owe her something. Therefore, in this lifetime, I must repay the debt. I should not judge things from the perspective of an ordinary person. As a cultivator, for the sake of saving sentient beings, I should willingly let go of attachments to fame and self-interest, remain clear-minded, and save people with righteous thoughts and without any concern for personal gain or loss. Reflecting on that, I felt ashamed for being narrow-minded. I called my colleague, and apologized for not sending a gift for her son’s marriage. I sent her a generous red envelope, and she happily accepted it and praised me saying I was a considerate person. I couldn’t help but smile. The storm passed and my inner peace was restored. That “blame” turned into an opportunity to improve myself.
Through this incident, I realized that as a cultivator, I should hold myself to the principles of the Fa, rather than the standards of ordinary people. Every problem I encounter can be a test, a challenge, and a ladder that Master has set up for me to return to heaven. As Master’s disciple, I must unconditionally look inward, cultivate myself, upgrade my level, and follow Master to my true home in heaven.
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Category: Improving Oneself
