(Minghui.org) My family had a lot of conflict and was about to break apart. I have two children, and my mother also lives with us. Although both the elderly and the young lived together, we were unhappy and disheartened. It was merciful Master Li Hongzhi, the founder of Falun Dafa, who saved my family.
We live in the countryside, and our income was not bad. We worked hard, but that didn’t bother us. The issue was differences between my husband’s personality and mine. We quarreled all the time. My husband was controlling and domineering. I was the same. When two strong-willed people come together, you can imagine how the conflicts can escalate. It was very common for our conflicts to go from verbal to violent. For example, he would throw away the food I made. I would tell him, “We’re wrongly married and live only to avenge.” He replied, “Yes, I will fight you until you’re subdued!”
“Divorce, Let’s Divorce!”
I felt I couldn’t continue to live this kind of life. I was hurt both physically and mentally. I became depressed. My mother was also very embarrassed about being put in the middle, and cried behind my back. I was desperate and didn’t know how to continue. Every time we quarreled, we both yelled out, “Divorce, Let’s divorce!” But I was always persuaded by relatives and friends to come back. They often said, “You are both young and stubborn. You have such good kids; try to forgive each other for the sake of your kids. When you get old, your temper will fade.”
I thought: I will go out to work so I don’t need to take care of his needs. He will be out of sight and out of mind. The money I earn can be kept for myself, and I will never come back. For years, whenever I got into a fight, I would think this way. When we were not fighting, we did not pay attention to one another and just minded our own business.
My husband never helped with any of the chores. Rather, he would pull me out to work with him when needed. After I came back in, I still had to cook. After dinner, I did the laundry while he watched TV, slept, or wandered around. After I was done, he would pull me out to work again. Whenever I didn’t do the job his way, he scolded me, and I couldn’t talk back. If I did, there would be a big fight.
On one occasion, he dumped out all the food I’d just cooked. I was so furious that I sprinkled water from the water tank all over the floor. He stood beside me and said, “You’re awesome, really awesome!” I could no longer live like that. Many times, I felt that my life seemed to be coming to an end. But no matter how badly we fought, I never thought about death. It’s like I had been waiting for something.
Becoming a Falun Dafa Practitioner
At the end of 1998, I was very fortunate to find the practice of Falun Dafa. I listened to Master Li’s recorded lectures, but I didn’t understand his teachings at the time. I then ordered the book Zhuan Falun. As I tried to understand the meaning of the book, my body and mind changed dramatically. After reading Zhuan Falun again, all the illnesses I had disappeared. My heart became kind, and my family also became more harmonious. My relationship with my mother also changed dramatically after I studied the Fa. I was surprised to learn that all the debts we owed, and all the ailment I had turned out to be related to my character and the sins of my ancestors.
I once went to a fellow practitioner’s home to share experiences. The practitioner told me about an elderly practitioner who passed a xinxing test with her daughter-in-law. The practitioner went to listen to Master’s lectures. When she came home, the daughter-in-law had placed the rotten, discarded vegetable peelings and dregs into her bowl. This practitioner didn’t say anything, thinking that Master taught us not be picky, so she ate it. Afterward, she went back to listen to Master’s lecture series. When the daughter-in-law came home from work, she thought her mother-in-law would be sick in bed with a stomachache. To her surprise, she was fine. I was deeply moved and told my mother about it when I got home. My mother was also inspired and said, “It’s amazing what fellow practitioners have let go of. We will do well in the future.”
During a meal, my husband once berated me, “Where have you been? You were late preparing the meal!” He then slapped me hard in the face. I thought: What’s wrong, what’s wrong? I recalled the story of the elderly practitioner who passed the xinxing test so well. So I didn’t want to waste my time by arguing or fighting back. My son said, “Dad, what’s wrong with you! How could you hit my mother? Don’t you want to have your meal?” My mother also chimed in, “Why did you slap her face? How could you hit her? You’re really unreasonable!” My husband didn’t say anything. I told my mom afterward, “After looking inward, I realized I didn’t tell him where I had been.”
In the process of studying the Fa continuously, I examined my behavior according to Dafa’s standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I kept improving myself. When conflicts started, I looked inward first. In the meantime, I talked to people about why it was important to quit the Chinese Communist Party organizations to ensure their safety. I also reached out to offer salvation to as many people as possible. When my husband didn’t do well on certain things, I treated him with kindness. Since he likes to watch TV, I moved the dining table to the TV room so he could watch while having his meals. I continued to prepare food for him and made things easy for him.
I remember Master’s words:
“As a cultivatorOne always looks for one’s own faults‘Tis the Way to get rid of attachments most effectivelyThere’s no way to skip ordeals, big or small[During a conflict, if you can remember:]“He’s right, And I’m wrong,”What’s to dispute?” (“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” Hong Yin III)
I used the Fa to discipline myself, looked inward when I had problems, and treated others with compassion. As a result, telling people about Dafa became easier.
My husband now likes to go out with me to distribute truth-clarification materials and CDs. He tells others that Dafa is good and hands out fliers. When I went out to work, he cooked and washed clothes by himself. He no longer scolds or curses me. He told me, “I cannot curse anymore; I have to be tolerant.”
My husband sometimes reads Master’s lectures, Minghui Weekly, and other Dafa materials. He likes to tell others, “Falun Dafa is good, and Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good!”
Thank you, Master, for saving my family!
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Category: Improving Oneself
