(Minghui.org) Before I share my experiences as a Falun Dafa practitioner, I would like to say thank you to Master Li (Falun Dafa’s founder) and fellow practitioners for this opportunity to recount my story, and I would like to share a quote from Master.
“In this society of practical interests and amid the emotions of the human world, it’s not enough to just talk about letting go of attachments and dealing with conflicts in a way that’s different from ordinary people. They have to put it into practice, and that is hard. Staying unaffected by these practical interests before them, dealing with all of it with a smile when faced with anger and hatred, and checking for one’s own faults in the middle of conflicts—these are things ordinary people can’t do. The fact is, when you’re going through these tests, it is agonizing.” (Teachings at the Midwestern U.S. Conference)
I began practicing Falun Dafa in October 2021, during the COVID-19 pandemic. Two years before I obtained the Fa, I contracted a condition called RCVS (Reversible VasoConstriction Syndrome) which led to subarachnoid bleeding.
In February 2019, while undergoing menopausal changes which aggravated the stress associated with managing my dental and medical practice, seeing patients, and dealing with life’s daily affairs, I suddenly faced a life-threatening health crisis of RCVS with subarachnoid bleeding.
On that fateful day, after I came home from work, I had a tremendous (thunderclap) headache followed by a major vasoconstriction and pulling of my spinal cord that raced to my brain. The vassal constriction associated with RCVS caused subarachnoid bleeding. I ended up in the hospital. During the days, weeks, and months, and even years of recovery, the pain was often nearly unbearable, and I absolutely reached my limit to tolerate such intense pain. Back then, my skill to manage such intense pain was simply to stay still and maintain a quiet mind.
I was cultivating in my own way. I was not aware of Falun Dafa, but I had practiced different forms of meditation for many years, and I was skilled enough to be very still and quiet in response to such intense pain. I quickly figured out that any emotions or thoughts, good or bad, would trigger severe pain. I learned to be very still and quiet. I relearned how to sleep, and I relearned how to think in the presence of intense pain.
My objective at that time was to recover, and above all, to reconnect, as I felt I was disconnected from God. The reoccurring pain prevented me from connecting through my meditation, through my prayers and through my faith. Literally, the hardest part of my recovery was to be quiet enough to reconnect.
Once, because of the lack of ability to connect, I started to panic. I had to decide to maintain my calm or fall into a panic yielding to drugs and antidepressants. But my will to avoid medication was strong enough to succeed in reconnecting through meditation to my faith and to God. And that is what I did. I decided that I wanted to stay clear. I wanted to connect with God. And I actually did it. And I sustained recovery without medication.
Two years later, as fate would have it, I saw an article about Falun Dafa in The Epoch Times and was curious enough to have a look at the Falun Dafa website. There, as someone familiar with meditation practices, I was able to find and listen to one of Master Li’s lectures about cultivation and looking inside and overcoming shortcomings.
As I listened to Master Li’s lecture, I pondered the state of the world at that crazy time – in the midst of the COVID pandemic where the whole idea of nature and of trust in God were falling apart. Master Li’s words resonated with my thoughts, and I realized that a strong energy field could enlighten and elevate life after all. Maybe there are other people like me?
I called someone who was able to introduce me to a Falun Dafa practitioner close to where I live and work. We had a fascinating conversation and she invited me to participate in a Sunday practice held about an hour’s drive from my house. I was excited. I really wanted to go. I downloaded the visually appealing exercises to my computer so I could practice and become familiar with them before I met with the Falun Dafa group on Sunday. Just as I hoped, I found her to be an experienced practitioner with a marvelous ability to cultivate and inspire new practitioners.
The practice was outdoors in a park, and since it was October, it was starting to get cold. I needed a jacket but later the sun came out and it warmed up a bit. At one point, I needed to use the bathroom and I noticed a church across from the park where there would be a bathroom. When I went inside the church, I found everyone there, including children, wearing masks, and overly concerned about following the strict COVID protocols.
As I crossed the street to go back to the park, I realized that none of the Falun Dafa practitioners were wearing masks. I remembered, as I was introduced to them, that none of them were concerned about masks and none maintained any distance from me. All rejoiced in welcoming me. It was as if the COVID pandemic did not exist.
That made a huge impression upon me because I rebelliously kept my business open during the entire COVID pandemic. I did not require or encourage my patrons to wear a mask. Prior to practicing Falun Dafa, from the very beginning of my career, I had an unconditional trust in my heart and soul that our bodies and our faith mitigate all fear.
As I said goodbye and walked toward my car, I glanced at the church, and I saw two statues of Christ – one with hands open. Although I was raised Christian, that was the first time that I felt Christ’s Paradise so clearly. That energy field will stay with me forever. The cross, the image of Christ, now has a whole different meaning than it did before. That left me with an amazing sense of tranquility and support to my cultivation in Falun Dafa.
My contact with those practitioners of Falun Dafa validated Master Li’s lectures. My first impression was a reminder that you can trust the world, that you can trust faith and that you can cultivate. It was all so clear to me. After that first practice, I bought the book, Zhuan Falun. So that first meeting was quite important to me.
One of, if not, the most important things that I have learned from practicing Falun Dafa is to look inside and not to blame anybody else for my shortcomings. Today, because of practicing Falun Dafa, I am so much better able to manage the normal, everyday stress of life. When I find myself dealing with stress and constrictions, I look inside for my shortcomings, and I realize how much it helps me.
Practicing and studying the Fa every day has absolutely given me a different reference. Even though I had practiced other types of meditation, including Buddhism, Master Li’s teachings have significantly helped me connect meditation with my everyday life. Meditation is not just about enjoying enlightenment during the moment of meditation, enjoying tranquility at that specific moment, but bringing that tranquility, bringing that enlightenment to every portion of your life; to your work, to your relationships, to your dreams. I now feel the same when I work, when I take care of business, when I talk to my staff, or when I talk to my family, as I feel during meditation.
Everything that was unusually stressful in the past becomes easier to deal with. I have the strength and tranquility to experience, create and accomplish more in my life. Practicing Falun Dafa is a full-time endeavor that lends tranquility to every moment that involves family, business, staff and health issues.
I get up early and often work late, so most days I have just enough time to practice my exercises and study the Fa. Every day I send forth righteous thoughts and am beholden to the energy field that supports my cultivation.
As a child, I always felt the presence of paradise and I have had opportunities to experience both human thinking and paradise thinking. My present understanding of cultivation allows me to take on more responsibilities. When I look inside, I get an immense, divine tranquility, a reminder of who I am, and an ability to cultivate a return to my paradise. I know the more I cultivate, study the Fa, send forth righteous thoughts and save sentient beings, the better I am able to cultivate to consummation.
Just prior to completing the writing of this sharing, I was forced to endure an intense, protracted confrontation that required an exceptional inward focus to endure. I had to, in a formal setting, face false, defamatory accusations put forth by a dishonest and lying individual. As I suffered through his fanciful and false testimony, I attempted to defend myself by following the Falun Dafa principles and to not engage in an antagonistic discussion with this individual who spoke no truth whatsoever.
I chose to defend myself by staying calm, sending forth righteous thoughts and increasing my xinxing. Unfortunately, my attempt to maintain the high ground was no match for a dramatic plea based upon hysterical and outward-facing lies. I suffered a difficult aftermath going through my righteous process of looking inside to find the reason I had to endure such a painful experience. What had I done to deserve such a disparity?
I spent, and am still spending, an undue amount of time looking deep inside to justify and come to terms with this tribulation. Nevertheless, I am grateful that my practice of Falun Dafa has given me the skills to cultivate every thought and every moment, to look inside, to send forth righteous thoughts and thereby bear this burden and wait it out.
And I found that completing the writing of this sharing has truly helped me to overcome and pass this test. Although the emotions keep coming, I find that connecting with the energy fields of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance allows me to synchronize with the truth, have the compassion for all involved, and maintain the endurance required to find honor in the way I approached and passed this test.
Master said,
“As a matter of fact, when you agonize over infringements upon your reputation, self-interest, and feelings among everyday people, it already indicates that you cannot let go of ordinary human attachments. You must remember this: Cultivation itself is not painful—the key lies in your inability to let go of ordinary human attachments. Only when you are about to let go of your reputation, interests, and feelings will you feel pain.” (“True Cultivation,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
Nothing that happens to me is a coincidence. When something personal happens, it is an opportunity for us to look inward, cultivate our xinxing, and make improvements. Master teaches us that even when we observe something as a third party, we need to look inward. If we truly follow what Master says, change the notion of looking outward and examine ourselves, then we will experience huge leaps in our cultivation. I thank Master from the bottom of my heart. Dafa cultivation targets one’s heart. If we truly look inward, then we will see magical changes.
Again, I gratefully thank Master Li and fellow practitioners for the chance to experience enlightenment.
(Presented at the 2023 Mid-US Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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