(Minghui.org) I’m 23 years old. I learned Falun Dafa when I was 4 or 5. but I did not truly practice Dafa until 2020, during the COVID pandemic.
I went home during winter vacation. A few days later, I developed a fever and my stomach ached. I couldn’t stand up and slept for four consecutive days. I drank some water and continued sleeping. I didn’t even have the strength to get up to use the toilet. My mother played recordings of Master’s lectures for me while I slept.
I felt as if I was lying on a big web in the universe, and the entire web was whirling around, giving me a feeling of weightlessness. I didn’t know what was wrong with me, but it felt as if someone was in control. I only remember one sentence I said when I was half awake: “Who is in control?” My mother said, “Master is with us.” On the fifth day I was able to stand up and walk slowly.
It was the Chinese New Year’s festival a few days later. I heard about the COVID virus the next day, when the entire city was quarantined. I had taken the train and crossed half of China to come home for the New Year. I was frightened when I looked back, but I realized Master was looking after me, even though I was not practicing.
My mother suggested that I do the Falun Dafa exercises, and she played the video. As soon as I saw Master on TV, it felt like something suddenly broke through a barrier in my mind, and a warm current went through my entire body.
I burst into tears. I felt that I had gained something very precious. I regretted that I had wasted so much time because I did not read the Fa for years. It took more than 10 years for me to have a better understanding of the Fa after I first encountered it when I was young. I regret that I didn’t truly enter cultivation for nearly two decades—I only started practicing when Fa-rectification was about to end. I finished the five exercises with tears in my eyes.
The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) suddenly relaxed its quarantine at the end of 2022, and I returned home to visit. I felt that I was a cultivator and protected by Master’s fashen. I thought the virus was irrelevant and I didn’t have to wear a mask. This thought allowed the old forces to take advantage of me. Two days later I developed a fever, and so did my father.
The virus was rampant at the time. I was afraid that I was infected, so I took antipyretics. Thinking one could die from the virus, I was filled with fear and self-blame. I was afraid that I’d die, and I blamed myself for infecting my father. But, I also felt that I would be safe since I was a Falun Dafa practitioner.
After the initial panic, I began to read Dafa books and Master’s lectures given in various places. I looked inward to find my own shortcomings. I found that my xinxing had many flaws. I thought that I was immune to everything after I began to cultivate. My extreme thoughts allowed the old forces to take advantage of my loopholes.
Master said,
“There was a person who was walking on the street with my book in his hand, yelling, “With Teacher Li’s protection, I’m not afraid of being hit by a car.” That was undermining Dafa. This type of person will not be protected. Actually, a true cultivator would not do such a thing.” (Lecture Three, Zhuan Falun)
I enlightened that although I did not do this, I was going to extremes and felt I was protected. I had no fear. I was wrong.
The next night, I felt a little chilly and had a fever. I started to do the exercises. I looked inward and found that my fear of death and my worry for my father were still there. Even while I did the exercises, I was still thinking about whether I would die.
Suddenly I remembered Master’s poem,
“If you have fear, they will grab youOnce your thought is righteous, evil will collapsePeople practicing cultivation, filled with FaSending righteous thoughts, exploding rotten ghostsGods are in the world, validating Fa”(“What's There to Fear,” Hong Yin II).
I thought, “I am Master’s disciple. No matter what I did wrong, Master is in charge. I only walk the path Master arranged for me.” I felt my whole body was filled with energy when I did the second exercise—it felt as though I suddenly broke through something. I realized that I overcame the tribulation, and I could not stop my tears.
I had a fever for two days and my fear of death was eliminated. I also asked Master to take care of my father. As soon as I broke through these obstacles, my father also recovered.
I am going through some xinxing tests now, which I feel are difficult to pass. My insomnia that had lasted for six months disappeared after I found my attachment to combativeness; now I can easily fall asleep. Why do I feel it's hard to pass the test? It is because I am still slacking off. But, I believe that I will be able to get over it because I have Master’s Fa to guide me. Although I can’t see Master, I feel Master is by my side. I will be diligent.
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Category: Improving Oneself
