(Minghui.org) I am a woman who was born into a family where my parents favored boys. I have two older sisters and two younger brothers. As a child, I envied my brothers because my parents loved them more than me. My father loved gambling and ended his own life when I was in the sixth grade.
I don’t remember my childhood being very happy. My parents argued all the time. I was looking forward to having a good marriage when I grew up, but it never came to be. My husband smoked and drank, though he didn’t gamble. He went to work every day but didn’t care about our family at all. There were three children in the family. The youngest was two years old, our oldest son was four, and our daughter was six at the time. Life was hard for us. My husband devoted himself to work so as to escape his family responsibilities. I had to take care of our three children by myself.
I didn’t recover well after I gave birth to our third child. I was weak and had insomnia. When I had my period, I had to lie down in bed and couldn’t get up to cook for my children. Even under such circumstances, my husband still came home late and drunk. My life was miserable.
My husband came home very drunk one day when I was pregnant with my third child. I complained that he wasn’t taking care of me despite my pregnancy. I became hopeless and had the thought of jumping from the top of the five-story building where we lived with my three children. I often wished that I would die while I was asleep. Thinking of my young kids, I stopped having such thoughts, but I lived on with no purpose.
Obtaining the Fa
I started practicing Falun Dafa in August 1999 when I was 34 years old. A huge typhoon hit my area in 1998, badly damaging residential buildings. The management team was not willing to deal with the aftermath, so residents protested on the anniversary of the typhoon. The protest led me to meeting the only Falun Dafa practitioner near me.
I was not initially interested in Falun Dafa. Other ladies in my residential area saw that the woman who practiced Falun Dafa became younger and prettier after she began cultivating, and they wanted to attend a nine-day seminar. I followed them and registered myself. My motivation was to loose weight. I didn’t have any idea what cultivation was, but I experienced a fundamental change after I attended the seminar.
I went to the seminar with my youngest son every day. I slept through the video lectures; it was as if I didn’t know what I went there for. I later realized that Master had purified my brain. I had strong thought karma at that time. A force inside my mind didn’t want me to attend the seminar. I went because I didn’t want to lose face. I thought to myself that if my son became naughty while we were there, I could use it as an excuse to take him home, but he was very quiet.
I also wished that any of the ladies would not come so I would have a reason not to attend, but all of them came on time every day. To my regret, they dropped out one after another after they attended the seminar. Master Li, Falun Dafa’s founder, did everything he could to help us obtain the Fa.
After I had attended the nine-day video lectures, the substances that constituted my grudges and complaints that often blocked my breath were removed. I cried at that moment! I knew my life would never be the same. I used to care that my mother didn’t love me but loved my brothers, but now I didn’t care about it at all. I used to hate my father, who loved my brothers and not me, but I no longer had that hatred. My husband’s behavior was no longer important to me, for I had Master with me. At that moment I experienced a newfound joy and happiness.
Tests Coming
I read at least two lectures of Zhuan Falun and two books of Master’s lectures every day after I finished my house chores. I became immersed in the Fa. Though I couldn’t see anything with my Third Eye, I could clearly feel that many Falun were around my body and improving my health.
For about two months, I felt that I had immense energy. I could feel that I was rushing up like a rocket as I was doing the meditation. My husband felt happy when he saw my changes. He said, “Since Falun Dafa is so good, please practice it seriously.” But cultivation is not smooth; conflicts gradually appeared.
My husband felt that I cared too much about Dafa and didn’t care about him much, making him feel insecure. He even went against Dafa when he was drunk. On one occasion he said, “If you continue practicing Falun Dafa, I will kill you.”
I said, “I am not afraid of your threats. I will continue to practice.”
He then said, “You see we were good, but now we argue because of Falun Dafa.”
I said, “I didn’t feel that we were good before.”
Later on he couldn’t find fault with me, and then said, “You can practice, I don’t care.” This was a test for me to see if I was determined in practicing Falun Dafa. He no longer argued with me about Falun Dafa after that.
Looking Within
But the evil elements still took advantage of my husband and used him to interfere with me when he was drunk. One day he tore a Dafa book into pieces. I felt so guilty because I hadn’t done well and caused damage to Dafa. I developed resentment towards him for the harm he had done to me. For some time I felt sad and could smell something bad emitting from him. I couldn’t imagine that I would live with him for the rest of my life.
One day he came home very late and I could sense that he was angry. I heard noises in the sitting room. Though I couldn’t see, I clearly felt a gush of dark energy being hurled towards me. I sent forth righteous thoughts to dissolve the evil elements behind him. He opened the bedroom door angrily but closed it quietly. I experienced the power of righteous thoughts.
I normally went to bed early with my kids because I didn’t want to see my drunk husband. One day the police called and said that my drunk husband had hit someone and also injured himself. I left my three young children at home and rushed to the hospital. His face was covered with blood and he was still drunk. He stared at me and said, “Why are you here? I haven’t died yet.” He spoke badly but I was calm inside and didn’t get angry. He was alright and I took him home. He apologized to me when he got sober. I felt that I had passed this test.
As I studied the Fa more, I started to clarify the truth to Chinese people online. I persuaded many people to withdraw from the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) and its affiliated organizations every day. I asked myself why I didn’t have compassion for my husband while I had ample compassion towards other sentient beings. I realized that I regarded him as my husband, rather than as a sentient being who needed to be saved. I later changed my notions and regarded him as a sentient being.
I subsequently had no hatred towards my husband regardless of what he said or did to me. He got drunk less and less.
My Children’s Illnesses
My oldest son had a high fever for a week when he was in the second grade. He didn’t eat, and behaved strangely. This was the biggest hardship during my cultivation. I had practiced Falun Dafa for less than three years at that point. His teachers questioned me a lot. I knew only that the truth could resolve their doubts. I clarified the truth to the school principal and directors and told them how I had benefited from practicing Falun Dafa. They acknowledged that Falun Dafa was good.
Some practitioners thought that I had issues which led to the conflicts and family hardships. I took my oldest son to Chinese and Western medical doctors, but they didn’t know what illness he had. When he was in the fourth grade, he was diagnosed with a melanoma brain tumor. He had surgery and the tumors were removed, except for the biggest tumor in his central nervous system. My husband attributed his illness to my practicing Falun Dafa. He thought that I didn’t take good care of our son.
One of my youngest son’s teachers asked about how my older son was doing. She suspected that my younger son might be suffering from Asperger’s syndrome. Facing pressure from the school, practitioners, and my husband, I felt that I had already reached the limit of my endurance. Adding a little bit more would crush me. When my oldest son was having the operation, I was with him by myself. If I hadn’t been practicing Falun Dafa, I would not have been able to endure it.
My oldest son needed around the clock care after the surgery. He suffered from epilepsy and had difficulty walking. The doctor told me that he would eventually become paralyzed. I often carried him on my back and walked to the fifth floor to learn a new way of clarifying the truth, as the building didn’t have an elevator. I couldn’t clarify the truth online for a long time because I had no time to spare. As long as I had the opportunity to clarify the truth and save sentient beings, I didn’t care how much suffering I had to go through. My oldest son was not emotionally stable. He would throw away hamburgers I bought for him if they were not from the specific shop he wanted, and shouted at me to get out of his sight. I didn’t get angry because I was a practitioner.
He was not able to eat when he was in the fifth grade. When we took him to the hospital, he changed and wanted to eat everything. I was very happy and thought that he could come home if he continued to improve, but he went into a coma that night. After an emergency rescue, his life was saved though he was still unconscious. My mother-in-law came to see him. We repeated the auspicious phrases, “Falun Dafa is good” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” in the hospital. His eyes became brighter.
The doctor said that he needed a tracheostomy as he was still young. I learned how to take care of him after he had the tracheostomy. I became a specialized nurse, looking after him around the clock, and his condition finally stabilized. I didn’t want to stay in the hospital and wanted to come home to work on a truth clarification project and save sentient beings. I started to look after him at home. Due to my good care, he rarely had issues.
I looked after him 24 hours a day and couldn’t go out to visit any practitioners. Not a single practitioner visited me at home during that time. I thought to myself that I could still cultivate because I had Master with me. At that time my husband changed. He treated me well because he had witnessed that I could do things that other people could not. He said, “You are supernormal!” Sometimes he carelessly said that he believed that I could reach consummation.
As time went on, with the heavy workload and unstable cultivation condition, I developed attachments. I visited online shopping websites and got attached to online shopping. My cultivation and health worsened. I felt tired, and life was hard. I woke up and was determined to pass this test. My cultivation subsequently improved.
It might be that I didn’t take good enough care of my oldest son, but he once caught a cold and had a lot phlegm. I could hardly suck it all out. He was then sent to the emergency room due to lung bleeding. He passed out and stayed in the hospital for a few months. I encouraged my husband to read Zhuan Falun to him. We went to see him every day. My husband read him Zhuan Falun at least 50 times. My husband was also purified by reading Zhuan Falun.
At the beginning, he said that cultivation was too difficult for him but he would become a good person according to Master’s requirements. My oldest son passed away at the age of 16. This year is the tenth anniversary of his death. I looked after him for nine years. I believe that he went to a dimension where there is no suffering.
Letting Go of the Attachment to Money; Family Environment Rectified
Because my family was poor when I was a child, I was attached to money. The more I couldn’t let it go, the more conflicts I had. My husband argued with me about everything. He even said that he would charge me for water, electricity, gas, internet, and even food. I felt so sad. What was the point of getting married?
After studying the Fa, I realized that I should look within. It was not his fault; it was because of my attachment. I asked myself if money was really so important. He never discussed anything with me before he took action. One day when I came home, he told me that he had bought a car and written my name on the bank loan agreement. He asked me to sign the agreement the next day. I got emotional and didn’t want to do it because I was afraid that he would not be able to pay off the debt, and I would suffer financial loss. I then realized that there are no coincidences in cultivation. I went to the bank and signed the agreement the next day.
Last October, my husband felt sick and painful all over his body and he didn’t know why. His skin gradually became yellowish. A medical examination indicated that he had gallstones. His galbladder had to be removed. His liver index was high due to his long-term drinking. There was a risk he’d die if he had the surgery. The doctor told me to prepare myself for the worst. He stayed in the hospital for a few days and his liver index came down, so he was able to have the surgery. I told him to repeat the two auspicious phrases before the surgery. He had no other choice but to agree. The operation was a success and I looked after him afterwards in the hospital. He sometimes complained that our children didn’t come to see him every day. He realized that only I looked after him wholeheartedly.
He was discharged but was not in good condition. We didn’t know why. He couldn’t eat or sleep well, and looked terrible. On the fifth day after being discharged, he asked me to call an ambulance for him. He lost consciousness when he was in the toilet before the ambulance came. He was taken to the hospital’s intensive care unit. I learned that he didn’t urinate for five days. The hospital issued a critical illness notice and arranged dialysis for him.
I played Master’s audio lectures for him in the hospital and also asked him to repeat the auspicious phrases. The dialysis lasted for several days and his condition became stable thanks to Master’s protection. While he was in the ICU, he was picky about what he wanted to eat. Our children found him annoying and didn’t attend to his requests, but I tried my best to buy what he wanted.
I had good talks with him while he was in the hospital. In the past, he didn’t understand why I spent so much time on the phone talking to Chinese people about quitting the CCP. He thought that I was neglecting our family. He was very moved this time. I took good care of him and didn’t argue with him about money. I wasn’t concerned about the hospital expenses or my loss at work because life was important and money was something external. As a practitioner, I knew I should take it lightly. I paid the medical fees for my husband first and didn’t worry whether he would pay me back. He told me how much money he had and that he would live with me for the rest of his life using that money. He has quit smoking and drinking. I realized that only by letting go of attachments can everything be rectified.
My Husband’s Body was Purified While I was Clarifying the Truth
I started clarifying the truth to Chinese people on the RTC platform six years ago. I spent all my spare time on this platform after work. My husband was very weak after he came home from the hospital. One day he felt tired and uncomfortable, and said that he was going to bed early. I logged onto the RTC platform early that night so I could make some phone calls before he went to sleep, as the computer was in his room.
Quite a few people agreed to withdraw from the CCP and its affiliated organizations after they talked to me. While I was busy making phone calls, he opened his bedroom door several times, as if he wanted to talk to me. When I had time between phone calls, I opened the door and asked him if he had anything to tell me. He said, “It is so strange. I didn’t feel well just then. But I am good now. You see my face, is it ok?”
I said, “That is fantastic. You see that I am saving people. There is a positive energy field here. You have benefited from it.”
He said, “But the door was closed.”
I said, “That door can’t prevent the energy from spreading because this dimension can’t restrain the energy.” His face shined.
Conclusion
My daughter used to be introverted. She started practicing Falun Dafa with me when she was little. She is now empathetic and helpful, and has many friends. People like her. I used to worry about my youngest son because he smoked like his father. I was not successful in persuading him to quit. Later on I let it go and he stopped smoking suddenly. He now has a stable job and doesn’t have issues getting along with people.
I can’t imagine what my family would be like if I didn’t practice Falun Dafa. My younger son had resentment towards his father since he was a child. I often guided him and said, “He is your father. He works hard, and raised you. You must be good to him.”
He said, “Though I am not a practitioner, I will try my best to do well.” He was moved by my actions while his father was in the hospital because he knew how his father had treated me. He said that no one would care about someone like his father. That was true. If I didn’t practice Falun Dafa, we would’ve gotten a divorce. Even if we didn’t get divorced, I would not have taken good care of him, but since I am a Falun Dafa practitioner, I did what I should do.
Master told us to cultivate as if we had just taken up the practice. In my early years of cultivation I cultivated diligently. I later became relaxed in studying the Fa and doing the exercises, as I spent a lot of time clarifying the truth to people. I held on to my attachments and was sometimes not willing to let them go. When I saw new practitioners on the RTC platform who cultivated diligently, I realized that I needed to double my efforts in cultivation.
I’d like to thank Master for his compassion and salvation. Thanks to Master’s protection, I have been able to walk on my cultivation path step by step up to today. On my twenty-third year of cultivation, I am presenting this cultivation report to Master.
The above are my cultivation experiences and what I’ve enlightened to. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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