(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
I feel very fortunate to attend this experience-sharing conference. I was born in the 1990s and moved from China to Switzerland several years ago to pursue my Ph.D. I interrupted my cultivation in Falun Dafa for several years but resumed practicing earlier this year.
My Childhood
I started practicing Falun Dafa as a child along with my parents. I learned how to do the exercises and listened to my mother and other practitioners read Zhuan Falun. Because Mother spent a lot of time memorizing Hong Yin, I was able to recite many poems in the book. I was young at the time and did not know much about cultivation practice, but I knew in my heart that Dafa was good. Although the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) made up many lies defaming the practice in July 1999, nothing could change my faith in the teachings.
My elder sister began practicing when I was in high school. Because of that, I also spent some time studying the Falun Dafa teachings and doing the exercises. However, once I started college, I slacked off due to the influence of the old forces and my thought karma. Assuming that what I was thinking were my own thoughts, I gradually stopped studying the Dafa teachings and doing the exercises.
Things became worse over time. Since I left my hometown to study in college, I no longer interacted with other practitioners. The CCP’s Party culture continued brainwashing me. After entering graduate school, I did not believe in the existence of Buddhas or other divine beings anymore; instead, I only believed in science. To make things worse, in this society of moral degeneration, I was surrounded by many lies, selfishness, lust, homosexuality, and more. I no longer measured things using the Dafa principles and did some things that did not align with traditional values and morals. Misled by modern ideology, I indulged myself in lust and often did not know how to handle it when I ran into conflicts with my lover. Tired of being alone, I changed boyfriends one after another without serious consideration. The evil thoughts about those relationships affected me a lot, which was another reason I could not return to cultivation practice.
In the meantime, I could not handle the demands of my Ph.D. studies and tried to stay away from cultivation. As a result, I spent a lot of time on my cellphone and could not get away from the virtual world. Very often I stayed up late at night playing games and became easily agitated. When losing a game, I often punched myself and swore at the other players. Since the lab did not have strict working hours, I often went there late at night, and my work lagged. Gradually, I became depressed, and various health issues, such as low blood sugar, insomnia, and injuries in my neck, fingers, and knees arose. Once, I even wanted to kill myself.
But I was still fortunate since Master Li did not abandon me. I felt this strongly after I resumed practicing. During those years, I didn’t truly consider myself to be a practitioner. However, my experiences with Dafa in my childhood made me understand many things. I more or less followed the guidance of the Dafa principles, and my thinking was different from that of everyday people. So, when encountering conflicts with others, I could handle them relatively well. Even though others often bullied me or took advantage of me, I would not play mind games with them. That is, at my level at the time, I was nice to others and considerate of them. In this way, I gradually made it through my Ph.D. years despite my passive attitude and pain. Over time, I became open-minded and tolerant of others and could forgive people around me. My addiction to cellphone games miraculously faded away, and I only played occasionally when I had nothing to do. At that time, I did not realize that the power of Dafa had been guiding me all along. I thought my so-called EQ [emotional quotient] was higher after experiencing those painful years, and I had become mature.
Still, I felt empty inside. With a higher education, I had a decent job and a good income, others respected me, and I could travel to different places and have fun. But these things didn’t make me feel productive and happy. I was eager to visit my family, hoping that the love from my parents could fill my empty mind. I almost gave up the trip because the lab work I was doing had some difficulties, but they were miraculously resolved. On the day I was to leave on my trip, it snowed without warning, affecting all flights—mine was canceled. While waiting nervously, I was told a new flight was scheduled for midnight. So, after staying at the airport for nearly the whole day, I boarded the plane home.
Resuming Practice and Understanding Cultivation
Shortly after I arrived home, my mother gave me Master’s new articles: “How Humankind Came To Be” and “Why the Creator Seeks to Save All Life.” I agreed to read them since I did not want to disappoint her.
My temper had changed dramatically since I attended graduate school. My mother saw this and worried about me over the years. Every time I returned home, she encouraged me to resume practicing Falun Dafa. She told me that I needed faith in Dafa and the desire to become a good person according to the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. This would give me a good future. But I became increasingly impatient when hearing her advice. Because of my bad mood, I even argued with her again and again with a nasty look on my face. I did not realize that my words and actions were inappropriate at the time; Mother told me about them later on.
When Mother gave me the articles, I accepted and read them. I did not want to upset her, and the articles were short anyway. I was awakened after reading them and realized I had made many mistakes. Later on, Mother played Master Li’s audio lecture. I suddenly felt as if all the cells sleeping in my body awakened, so I began to listen to Master’s lecture attentively. After a few days, Mother asked if I wanted to study the Dafa teachings with her and my father, and I happily joined them.
On the night before leaving China to study abroad, I had a dream about a physics exam taking place in my high school. The teacher first reviewed the test papers of other students, and all of them received a nearly perfect score. When it was time to review my test paper, it was obvious that my answers were off a little bit, and the meanings were dramatically different. To my surprise, the teacher gave me a score of 100. However, my classmates were not happy, and they said I should have been given zero points. After hearing this, the teacher was calm. He calculated my points on this problem and that problem, and they added up to 66 in the end. My classmates were okay with that, and no one objected.
Upon waking up, I cried. I went in front of Master’s portrait and kowtowed to him. In fact, after reading Master’s recent articles and then listening to the audio lectures, I wanted to resume practicing, but I also had concerns. Since childhood, I have known Dafa and remembered that Master said one should be serious about the relationship between a man and a woman. Mother also emphasized this again and again. However, I did not follow this rule and committed many wrongdoings that were inconsistent with traditional values, let alone Dafa principles. I felt I was no longer qualified to be a Dafa practitioner. At that time, I had not read Master’s lectures over the years and did not know that my wrongdoing had become an obstacle for me to obtain Dafa.
Nonetheless, this dream gave me confidence, and I knew that compassionate Master had been caring for me. He saw my concerns and gave me a hint that he still considered me a disciple. Because of the dream, I decided to practice again. This time, I was clear-minded and not influenced by anyone.
A Better Person and Genuine Practitioner
I had many new experiences after resuming practicing Falun Dafa. Before leaving China, I studied the Dafa teachings, did the exercises, and sent forth righteous thoughts. My sister also put all of Master’s lectures on a USB drive, and I copied them to my iPad after I moved abroad. When I picked up Zhuan Falun to read again on my own, I was moved to tears and could not stop. At that time, I did not understand why I reacted this way. I had picked up and put down Zhuan Falun many times, but I never had such a feeling.
After reading Master’s lectures over the years and thinking about my experiences, I realized I initially began practicing because of my parents. I had many bad thoughts and attachments and did not know that cultivation practice was so serious. This time, I will cultivate from deep in my heart and without any pursuit. Because I am now a Dafa disciple, Master has done all the things he does for his disciples. The knowing side of me saw all the things compassionate Master had done for me, so my tears kept flowing because of my deep gratitude to Him.
I also felt that Master had cleansed my body, which I had messed up during the years of not cultivating. In the first few days after I moved abroad, I had lots of dirty and smelly sweats every night that turned the bed sheets yellowish. I had injured my knee when skiing, and it was often painful. The pain lasted for a long time, even after I resumed practice, but improved later on. Right now, I feel pain only when doing the sitting meditation for a long time. My finger joints were also painful when I did the fourth set of exercises, and they are totally fine now.
About a month after leaving China, I contacted local practitioners and obtained a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. Despite feeling chilly and having a headache and nausea the following day, all these were gone one day later. Then, I had stomachache and diarrhea. Those things also disappeared after a day. Since then, my health has become better and better. I walk with agility, and my insomnia has disappeared.
My thinking totally changed and I felt like a lost child who had found the way back home. I could arrange my work well, remain energetic, and keep my room clean and tidy. I am no longer afraid of being alone. Instead, I cherish the time I fully focus on studying the Fa and doing the exercises by myself. As a Dafa disciple, I have Master and Dafa, and I need to catch up with the many things a Dafa disciple should do. Being alone can be lonely, but I appreciate and cherish my happiness. I am grateful Master pulled me back before I fell off a cliff. He also cleansed me so that I could become a Falun Dafa disciple during the Fa-rectification period. There are no words to express my gratitude to Master.
After resuming practice, I gained many deep understandings from reading Zhuan Falun and Master’s other lectures. Like other new practitioners, I experienced zealotry and could not wait to share the practice with people around me. Because of my attachments, I did not explain things well, and the process did not go smoothly. I also had the extreme thought of giving up my everyday job and solely focusing on cultivation practice. With continued study, and hints from Master, I learned that a Dafa disciple needs to treat others with rationality and compassion. In fact, working and living in everyday society will help with my practice and allow me to improve more quickly.
Remaining Firm in Cultivation Practice
During the days of preparing my thesis, I was nervous and worried about completing it on time. Then I remembered that Master had said that we just need to do things well as Dafa disciples; our everyday work will not be affected, and the result will be good. So, I gave cultivation practice the highest priority and did all five exercises after waking up. I also sent righteous thoughts on time and studied Zhuan Falun or other lectures for three hours every evening. In the end, I completed the graduation thesis ahead of time. I noticed that when my cultivation practice was good, I could write a high-quality dissertation quickly. I know this occurred because Falun Dafa is extraordinary and sacred.
When I submitted my thesis and prepared for the defense, I met different kinds of resistance and xinxing tribulations. I was disturbed and did not feel comfortable. When I calmed down and thought things through, I realized that although I told myself that I did not care about the diploma, I was still thinking about it a lot. I remembered Master said,
“Cultivation depends on one’s efforts, while the transformation of gong is done by one’s master.” (Lecture One, Zhuan Falun)
So, I decided to focus on my effort instead of the results.
I had a dream in which I was told to take an exam. Assuming it was a politics class, I had to memorize something that I did not like, so I did not prepare at all. Since the exam was approaching, I took out the review materials, trying to learn something. But after a few minutes, I was told time was up. So, I went into the classroom and happily found it was a Falun Dafa exam and not a politics exam. The teacher was a Chinese woman, and the students included both Chinese and people of other ethnicities. Some of them called out, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” I also felt excited.
The teacher said to me, “You are late.” “No, I am on time,” I replied. “Have you memorized Zhuan Falun?” she asked. I shook my head. “Have you read the book 200 times?” she asked. “Not yet,” I replied. “But I think I can pass the test.”
The teacher was very calm. She took out an ancient-looking booklet, labeled with my name. The teacher pointed to a seat and I walked to it. But someone was in the seat when I got there, so I sat in the row behind and was ready to write the exam.
My understanding of the dream is that my life is meant for cultivation practice. I failed many tests due to attachments and even did things that a Dafa practitioner should not do. It was good that I woke up and resumed practicing. Because of my mistakes, however, I may not be able to achieve what was initially planned for me. However, Master did not abandon me and made arrangements based on my situation. I cannot let Master down. I will make the best use of my time to study the Dafa teachings and remain diligent.
Looking at my past, I began practicing in childhood, stopped as a youth, and resumed when I was about 30. I was often in tears when I thought about this sequence because I knew this life was meant for cultivation practice, and Master had made arrangements for me. I did not walk the path well and am fortunate to finally understand the purpose of life. This would not have been possible without Master’s compassionate care, so I am very grateful.
The above is my understanding at my level. Please kindly point out anything inconsistent with the Fa.
(Presented at the 2024 Switzerland Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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