(Minghui.org) I am a 31-year-old Falun Dafa practitioner. As a young girl, I studied the Fa with my parents. My motivation for studying the Fa back then mostly came from my mother urging me to join the Fa-study groups.
My Predestined Relationship with Dafa
Former Chinese Communist Party (CCP) leader Jiang Zemin and his rogue regime began to persecute Dafa in 1999. When I was in primary school, my father was arrested and taken to a forced labor camp for two years. After he was released, he was forced to live away from home, and we had a hard life. However, my mother was steadfast in her cultivation of Dafa, and constantly urged me to study the Fa. Studying the Fa helped me, and I never felt bitter about life.
When I was at a university, my mother was reported to the authorities when she was clarifying the truth. She was illegally sentenced to seven years in prison. From the time I hired a lawyer to defend her, and then being sentenced, my time was full. As a result, I read the Fa less and less.
After I graduated from the university, I met a man online. He wasn’t against my cultivating Dafa, nor did he have any prejudice against my mother being sentenced. I figured that he was six years older than me, and I couldn’t keep dragging him around, so I settled on a relationship with him, with both parents in agreement.
It got harder for me to study the Fa. And I felt more and more helpless, even to the point of wavering in my faith in Dafa. However, it would have been impossible to live like someone who never had any contact with Dafa. But I couldn’t be diligent in cultivation either. All kinds of conflicts came one after another, and I was overwhelmed. I then began to think about Master and wondered if he would still look after me and if I could continue my cultivation. I had tears in my heart, but nowhere to shed them.
I only dared to call out to Master in my heart to seek a little bit of comfort. Master heard me and used my dreams to relieve my pain. I had three dreams in a row, as Master untied the knot in my heart.
In the last dream, the history teacher was waiting at the podium to collect our homework. The teacher’s hair was gray, and he smiled at me. I was the class representative, but I couldn’t collect the homework. Some students copied other students’ work. The teacher was waiting for students during the 10 minutes before class to finish their homework. After waking up, I realized that I had made Master worry, as I had not completed my historic mission. Master was still waiting for me and hadn’t given up on me.
After I wrapped up the relationship with that man, I returned to cultivation. It’s truly wonderful to have Master and Dafa!
Having a Family
My aunt introduced me to a young man, who was a practitioner’s son. When we first met, I was moved by the purity in his eyes. Later, in a dream, I saw a little boy running toward me holding a small-sized Zhuan Falun in his hand. I knew that he was that young man. It was Master who told me that this was our predestined relationship.
When my mother returned home after seven years in prison, my boyfriend and I got married. Later, we had a child. I looked after the child at home, while my husband ran a fried skewers shop and was very busy every day.
When our child was one or two months old, I found a woman on my husband’s phone who had been borrowing money from him. I asked my husband about it. I trusted him and advised him to quickly ask for the money back. I didn’t pursue it further. When our child was three months old, I realized something was still wrong, and asked my husband for more details about it. I discovered that he lent that woman nearly 200,000 yuan, but it was a scam.
It was unbelievable that this happened to us. I always trusted my husband’s character and judgment. At the same time, I discovered that he also owed about 100,000 yuan before we married. It was the loss he incurred in his previous business and renovation costs for our house. The debts added up to nearly 300,000 yuan. I didn’t dare to think too much about owing such a large amount of money.
I understood from the Fa that nothing happens without a reason. It probably was what we owed in a previous life, or perhaps it’s a big tribulation intended for me. The thought of complaining about my husband often came up in my mind, but I managed to suppress it. My heart was tempered time after time by this. I couldn’t blame him, and I comforted him instead. I said, “You had good intentions and lent her the money because you thought her mother was sick. Since you were cheated, you must feel worse than I do. This happened because we both owed her in a past life.”
I understood from the Fa that resenting others helps no one. When I had resentment, wasn’t my heart moved? Thus, I should look inward to truly improve. During the following three years, my husband and I lived a thrifty life. Blessed by Master, we finally paid everything off in June 2023.
In the process of doing so, using Dafa’s principles as my guide, I let go of more and more self-interest and kept breaking through human attachments. I felt truly grateful to Master that I could pay back such a big debt during this time when Fa-rectification was about to end.
I didn’t tell anyone other than my parents about the debt, as I was afraid they would misunderstand my husband and blame him for being cheated. That would affect how he interacts with fellow practitioners, relatives, and friends in the future. Through this incident, my husband finally began to do solid cultivation, which also helped me to be diligent as well.
Cultivating Diligently in the Fa
I’d like to share my feelings about studying the Fa over the past few months.
During the 2023 Chinese New Year, my husband and I calculated that we were almost finished repaying the money we owed. A relative tried to talk us into going abroad, saying that she had a relative there, so we could apply for a tourist visa, stay abroad, and bring our child over there in a few years. Meanwhile, her relative could help us to find jobs.
My husband bought into it and wanted to go. He began to take care of things, like applying for a passport and visa, which made me very nervous, as I had no interest in going at all. China is where the main body of Dafa practitioners are, and there are still many people to be saved. But my husband insisted.
I burned incense in front of Master’s portrait during the Chinese New Year and told Master about my two New Year wishes: The first wish was to have my husband drop his idea of going abroad, as I didn’t think it fit the requirements of Dafa. The second was that I wanted to get rid of my addiction to my cell phone and eliminate my attachment to lust.
My husband didn’t drop the idea of going abroad. But I tried to remain unmoved and told him that studying the Fa and doing the exercises were the most important things. He finally listened to me and changed his mind about going abroad. He also began to study the Fa with me.
On the issue of lust, I chatted with my husband and told him about my childhood. When my mother was in police custody, my cultivation state was off, and I even gave up on cultivation. The reason came down to two things: First, was my reliance on my mother, as I always needed her to encourage me. She was like a crutch for me, without which I couldn’t walk. Second, it came down to lust. This lust has a long history. When I was in junior high school, my neighbor’s daughter gave me a romance novel. I wanted to read more romantic novels and borrowed more from her. The books contained all kinds of love stories between a man and a woman.
In high school, I was very focused on relationships between men and women. Whenever I had the slightest attraction to a boy, I tried to suppress it. I always thought that I was self-controlled, but I still read the novels. While at the university, I had more time to look at the Internet and could access everything. I couldn’t guard myself against pornographic things. After I started working, I came across several people who tried to touch me inappropriately, and I quit two jobs because of it.
Lust has been there throughout my life. It was terrible. I loved reading novels too much, and I quit for a while, but then I resumed reading them. This happened over and over again. I had no willpower. So during the Chinese New Year, I made a wish to stop reading novels and get rid of lust.
When I talked to my husband about this, I realized that the fundamental arrangement for this lust was made by the old forces in my childhood. When I was young and ignorant, they imposed evil thoughts on me, and arranged the traps at every stage of my life, making me fall into them without knowing why. I finally saw through the old forces’ evil arrangement, which is to destroy people.
After I paid attention to sending forth righteous thoughts, I first stopped reading the novels, stopped looking at my phone, and uninstalled WeChat. Then I freed myself from the issue of lust.
In the last few days, I started looking to see if I still had the attachment of lust after I ran into physical discomfort, and had problems with my xinxing. This indicated that I was cultivating to solve my problems, which is another type of pursuit, as opposed to cultivating to truly improve myself. When I realized this, I sent forth purer and stronger righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I also paid close attention to my every thought, every person, object, and event that I saw, to see if there was any subtle form of lust there. I’d like to remind practitioners not to be attached to checking one’s cell phone, so as not to indulge one’s demon nature and ultimately destroy oneself.
When I stopped doing this, I became truly diligent. By continually cultivating my mind, I let go of my attachments to fame, self-interest, and sentimentality. When I was reading the Dafa books, I had no wild thoughts. It also became easier for me to enter into tranquility when doing the sitting meditation. I want to follow what Master said, so I have to save more people. Therefore, I began to clarify the truth at our business.
Cultivating Myself While Clarifying the Truth
My husband told me that he had a good chat with a long-serving customer at the store, and asked me to talk to him about Dafa. I was very nervous to the point that my legs were shaking. But I also saw it as an opportunity. I went and chatted with this man. He was very talkative. When I tried to focus on the topic of Dafa, he digressed to another topic. Then he went on and on, and there was no room for me to chime in. Finally, we got back to the topic of Dafa, but he didn’t believe me. He said someone had already talked to him about it, and quickly changed the topic.
I became anxious and asked for Master’s help. I said deep down, “Master, I want to save him, but how should I do it?” An idea then came to my mind: Start by listening to him first, and then use it to determine how I should talk to him.
In this way, I changed my approach, as my original approach wasn’t pure. I was wrong. I had to talk about what he cared about, which was his health. My husband mentioned to me before that he had serious diabetes. Thus, I talked to him about health and the pandemic. He listened to what I said and I could include Falun Dafa in our conversation. He even followed along with me to recite the two phrases a few times, “Falun Dafa is wonderful!” and “Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is wonderful!” Then I began to clarify the truth to him.
After that, every time I clarified the truth to someone, I still got nervous and started trembling uncontrollably. I felt a lot of pressure in my heart, which made me unable to eat and sleep well. I looked for content related to clarifying the truth in Fa-study, experience-sharing articles, and other materials online. I copied a whole bunch of them and made use of them when talking to people. But I was still very nervous and felt a lot of pressure.
Before that, for a period of time, my cultivation state was very good. I always understood the hints from Master when I ran into tribulations and found the solutions in the Fa. How come when it came to clarifying the truth, I felt so powerless? This was a bottleneck for me, and I needed to break through it. I needed to have my own understanding, using Dafa as my guide, as opposed to having Master push me to move forward.
One late night, my husband was talking to a young man in the store. I chimed in on their conversation. I talked to the man for a long time, and he quit the CCP. My husband was tidying up and ready to close the store for the day. As soon as I went over to him, he said, “You made me mad. I was almost at the point of helping him quit the Party, then you chimed in and talked for so long. We should have gone home a long time ago!” I didn’t say anything, but my heart beat faster. How could this happen? Why was he so upset at me?
I was so annoyed that I rode my electric bike home, leaving my husband behind. As I was riding, I became teary, and asked, “Master, what did I do wrong?” I wanted to look inward, but I didn’t know what I had done wrong. Then I started recalling what my husband said about me, that I was just talking to myself and talked a lot. Then I knew that I didn’t consider the feelings of other people. I just kept talking and didn’t care about others. When I became clear, I no longer felt wronged or angry.
The next day, I talked to my mother about my cultivation state and said that I felt a great deal of pressure. After I told her what my husband said about me, she said that I always had my own opinion, and when I talked about the Fa principles that I enlightened to, I didn’t stop.
I knew I should no longer study the Fa with preconceived notions. I must be humble and give up my notions of the Fa that I had from before, just like how a child learns to read: empty the mind and read the Fa word for word. As I did this, Master showed me a deeper understanding of the Fa principles, which I had not previously realized. I also came to understand that the pressure I felt, which made me tremble, wasn’t me. It was a living being, and it was afraid of being eliminated through my clarifying the truth. Then, I stopped shaking.
As I continued to speak to people about Dafa, I found that I still wasn’t natural enough and was still imposing myself on others. To improve, I found some materials in Minghui articles to help people quit the CCP. I figured that truth-clarification isn’t just a matter of technique, but rather it comes down to one’s heart. That is, one’s heart needs to be purely on saving people and having complete faith in Master and Dafa.
I began to put more effort into cultivating kindness. For my every word and deed, I tried to judge whether it was being selfish or altruistic. The improvement turned out to be significant. I learned to put others first and became pure deep down inside. I could truly feel people’s suffering. It felt that I was really like a true practitioner now, and I could assist Master in Fa-rectification. My heart was on the Fa and I assimilated to the Fa.
When I was clarifying the truth, I truly sympathized with people’s suffering, and tears welled up in my eyes. The student who was listening to me listened very carefully and nodded repeatedly. I conveyed to him the beauty of Dafa and Master, and he was visibly moved. I also felt the power of kindness even more.
People in the world are like lost lambs, staring with innocent eyes as they listen to the truth, listening quietly and standing there in a daze. When my kind thoughts came out, truth clarification became an easy task. I could help them quit the Party with a few words. I kept the person in mind, conveying the beauty of Master’s saving grace to him. When I clarified the truth in an upright manner, I felt I had all the power in my heart.
During my recent truth-clarification efforts, I felt that people immediately understood, and it was very easy for them to accept the truth. And they listened attentively. Now I want to talk to people every day. Knowing that sentient beings are all suffering, and how much Master has sacrificed for them in the process of saving them. I should seize this final opportunity to save more people.
Views expressed in this article represent the author's own opinions or understandings. All content published on this website are copyrighted by Minghui.org. Minghui will produce compilations of its online content regularly and on special occasions.
