(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a 24-year-old practitioner from Taipei, and I’m studying for my master’s degree at Mingzhi University of Science and Technology. I’m very happy to tell you about my cultivation experiences.
When I was little my father encouraged me to cultivate. At that time, I was full of enthusiasm for studying the Fa, and I firmly believe that practicing Falun Dafa is the luckiest thing in my life.
However, as I entered school and focused on my studies, I had many cultivation challenges. In the face of all kinds of temptations among ordinary people, at first, I could still firmly tell myself to face them with the mentality of a Dafa disciple. But cultivation is serious.
I began to relax my cultivation and I gradually handled problems with an ordinary person’s mindset. My former enthusiasm and steadfastness towards Dafa became blurred.
Confusion in Middle School
I was friends with my middle school classmates, and I inevitably came into contact with some negative information on the Internet, some of which involved pornographic content. Because I didn’t maintain the standards of a cultivator, my lust intensified. I knew I had these problems, but I didn’t eliminate them. I even watched those inappropriate videos, completely unaware that this was something cultivators shouldn’t do. My cultivation state began deteriorating and I started to smoke and drink.
My relationship with my father also deteriorated. I sometimes argued to the point where we almost fought. Looking back now, this may have stemmed from the fact that I had an impatient heart, and I was anxious to make friends, but forgot to distinguish between right and wrong. I forgot I was a practitioner, and I wasn’t willing to listen to my family.
Identifying My Selfishness
Master said:
“Because one is lost among everyday people, one will often form in one’s mind thoughts for fame, benefits, lust, anger, and so on. Over time, these thoughts become the powerful thought karma.” (Lecture 6, Zhuan Falun)
When I was in college, I often felt an invisible pressure. Sometimes this feeling came very suddenly, but then I gradually realized that this was the thought karma that Master talked about. In my junior and senior years, the thought of scolding Master and Dafa sometimes appeared in my mind. I was very confused at first—but I just felt it was thought karma. I strengthened my determination to eliminate it when I had righteous thoughts, but it seemed to have limited effect. After a while, it returned. I couldn’t understand why this was happening, and I just kept sending forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it.
This summer, while I was a team assistant in the Minghui Camp, I had an argument with another practitioner. The dispute showed that I could not be criticized. At first, I didn’t understand why such a conflict arose in this environment, but when I talked to other young practitioners, I realized my self-centered thoughts were influencing me, making me forget to look inward for my own problems.
I’ve been thinking about how to resolve this. Suddenly, I had the idea to talk to my father about it. Although I was a little hesitant, I mustered up the courage to talk to him. After listening to me, he showed me a passage:
“At the practice sites, assistants must be strict with themselves but generous with others. They have to maintain their character and be helpful and friendly.” (“Appendix III The Standards for Falun Dafa Assistants,” The Great Way of Spiritual Perfection)
When I saw this teaching, it dawned on me. It turned out that my way of doing things in the camp was often to be “generous with myself and strict with others,” which is why the other practitioners said my starting point when I did things always seemed to be based on my own interests, but I had no consideration for others.
After the Minghui Camp ended, I spent a week studying the Fa for three to four hours a day. I also lengthened the time I sent righteous thoughts and practiced the exercises. This was the first time I took the initiative to look inward and improve my mind for so many years. I had a thought: Only if I get rid of my ego, can my xinxing improve.
After I focused on improving my cultivation and xinxing for a week, I recalled that when I was at the camp the starting point of many things I did seemed to be self-centered. But, when others pointed this out, I silently complained about them.
I looked inward to find my other hidden attachments that hindered my cultivation, such as selfishness and anger. I told myself that I should be happy to accept any criticism. During this time, my relationship with my father changed. We were able to exchange understandings based on the Fa, which was something that wouldn’t have happened during my junior or senior year. I was able to listen to and accept every word he said.
I found that after letting go of my ego, my heart was as clear as if it had been washed. One day my father said that I was always peaceful now, and that I became kind and compassionate. He said I always looked tired and impatient before, so people avoided me. I remembered that the conflict I had with the young practitioner hadn’t been resolved, so I wrote a him a sincere letter of apology.
A few days later, I handed it to the practitioner, and described how I looked inward. I deeply realized that taking myself as the starting point in everything can build a wall in my heart and prevent me from listening to the advice of others. He forgave me and I felt relieved. When I let go of attachments, I had a feeling of sudden enlightenment, because my xinxing indeed improved.
Participating in Activities For the Right Reasons
A week later, I served as an assistant for the youth camp. This time, I told myself that I would help every young student with the attitude of a Dafa disciple, and that I would communicate with them based on the Fa. I wouldn’t allow our conversations to turn into ordinary people’s discussions.
When I participated before, some people said my motive in participating wasn’t correct, and it seemed like I was participating to make friends. After my xinxing improved, I also realized that my mentality of participating in the camp was putting making friends above cultivation, so in the process of participating in the youth camp this summer, I did everything seriously and with a correct attitude.
I did everything with the mentality of not showing off and I placed others first. I got along well with the staff and the members of my own team. Whenever someone gave me advice, I was willing to listen and share my thoughts. The interaction was very peaceful, and this was the first time I have felt like this since I began helping with the youth camp.
Master said,
“There is something you must pay attention to: you are validating the Fa, not validating yourselves. A Dafa disciple’s responsibility is to validate the Fa. Validating the Fa is cultivation, and what you remove in the cultivation process is none other than the attachment to self; you can’t, instead, go and exacerbate the problem of validating oneself, even if you do it unwittingly.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the Meeting with Asia-Pacific Practitioners,” Collected Teachings Given Around the World Volume VI)
I realized that only when my starting point is correct can I truly validate Dafa.
During the camp, I was also invited to be the moderator for the first time. Afterwards, I received some positive feedback and was thanked by practitioners for my role as a team assistant, which was something that had never happened before.
Identifying My Jealousy
After the camp, I thought deeply about the relationship between jealousy and self. I realized that when I worked with others, I was often jealous if they did things faster than me. This jealousy and comparing myself made me anxious to do things quickly, but I ignored the details or how well I did them. This kind of mentality not only affected my schoolwork, but also had a bad impact on Dafa projects. I didn’t want to listen to other people’s suggestions so this hindered my cultivation.
After deep reflection, I realized that my impatience, which originated from jealousy, impacted the effectiveness of what I did and made it harder to do things well. Someone pointed out that because I was in a hurry to do things, what I did barely passed the standard. At that time, I only understood that my way of doing things needed to improve, but I soon forgot about it. Because my heart to validate myself was still strong I didn’t realize that I was jealous.
Since I found the root of my attachment, I now tell myself that I need to be tolerant, to appreciate the merits of other practitioners, let go of impatience, do things with a pure mentality, do them without pursuit, and deal with everything calmly. Although I still sometimes cannot reach this level, I now adjust my state and thank the other practitioners for their advice. I believe that this mindset is a true cultivator’s and it will help me be more diligent on the path of cultivation.
Epilogue
Looking back on my cultivation path, I deeply realized that cultivation is filled with challenges. From being a simple cultivator in the early days, to relaxing and being self-centered in everything, which led to unnecessary tribulations and trials, I gradually understood that cultivation requires patience and perseverance, and that we cannot rush to achieve success. Through constant inward search and refinement, I learned to hold myself to the standards of Dafa disciples, remove my selfishness and improve.
Thanks to Master’s compassion, I will continue to strive forward, and steadily progress on the path of cultivation.
These are my experience of cultivation, please kindly correctme if anything is not in line with the Fa!
Thank You, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2024 Taiwan Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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