(Minghui.org)
Greetings, Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners!
I am a senior in the music department of Niaoshong Arts High School in Yunlin County. Today, I want to share how practicing Falun Dafa gives me a new life.
Tormented by a Disorder
Niaoshong is the third high school I have attended. Before Niaoshong, I was on medical leave from two other schools.
A few years ago, I suddenly couldn’t talk or express my inner feelings. My mother took me to the doctor and I was diagnosed with “obsessive-compulsive disorder.” It became increasingly difficult for me to interact with others. I couldn’t even buy lunch or fill up my water bottle. I stayed in my seat all day, feeling miserable but unable to control myself. In the end, I was homebound and swallowed by my agony.
Once I got home, I had to sit on the stairs. When I walked into bathroom, I could not take a shower. I looked at the faucet and could not turn it on. My mother was worried for me, but she didn’t know how to help me. I felt lost, hopeless, and helpless. Even now, looking back, I still feel the pain vividly.
Two months passed like this. I did not take showers, brush my teeth, or leave the house. I slept on the living room floor, and my parents had to prepare all three meals for me. Whenever someone else was there, I would get nervous and very anxious. I could hardly take care of myself. I suffered mentally and physically as the days passed.
Blessing in Disguise
At the end of October 2021, the training instructor where my mother worked came to see me after learning about my situation. She was a Falun Dafa practitioner
Through weekly counseling, she discovered that I had anxiety but not thought disorder, even though my behavior would give others the impression that I had severe mental illness.
She wrote to me, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good” and asked me to recite it sincerely. She then solemnly recommended that I read Zhuan Falun, the main text of Falun Dafa. At first, I thought she was there to preach, and I was a little resistant. She knew that I was severely interfered with by my thought karma, so she took out Zhuan Falun and asked me to read “On Dafa” with her. I agreed and read “On Dafa” three times.
Thanks to her, I realized that this was a precious book and I must cherish it. After that, whenever I felt that I couldn’t get over something, I would take out Zhuan Falun and read it. I often felt that Master Li, the founder of Falun Dafa, was by my side, watching over me and enlightening me. The more I read the book, the more righteous thoughts I had.
How I Changed after I Started to Cultivate
When I was reading Zhuan Falun, I felt that Dafa was changing me without me knowing it. I gradually went from taking a shower once a week to once every two days, and finally every day.
In fact, before that, it would take me two to four hours or more to finish taking a shower. After I got to Niaoshong, it still took a long time to take a shower at first, but now I can do it in half an hour at most.
I was helpless in the past with the shower and other activities. It was like I was being controlled by something and I couldn’t control myself. By studying the Fa and cultivating myself, I was able to gradually distinguish what is my main consciousness and what isn’t. I won’t be controlled or deceived by my feelings anymore.
Master told us:
“Most people, however, can remove and resist it with very strong thoughts from themselves (a strong Main Consciousness). With this, it indicates that this person can be saved and can distinguish good from bad. In other words, the person has good enlightenment quality. My fashen will help eliminate most of such thought karma. This situation is seen frequently. Once it transpires, you will be tested to see if you can overcome such bad thoughts on your own. If you are determined, the karma can be eliminated.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
After the 2022 Chinese New Year, I attended the nine-day Falun Dafa classes. The process was full of ups and downs. No matter how long I slept, I still felt tired. I could not get up in time, so I was late. Although it was not a smooth journey, I completed the course.
I realized later that, while listening to the Fa, Master had already purified my body and eliminated my thought karma. After that, I left home and volunteered for the Ministry of Foreign Affairs for two months.
I am now able to control my behavior with a strong sense of self-awareness. My body and mind have undergone great changes. I thank Master and Falun Dafa from the bottom of my heart. It is Master who helped me find myself and reclaim my life.
Return to a Normal Life
After learning Dafa, my mental state recovered quickly. In just two months, I began preparing to return to school and getting back to a normal life.
At the suggestion of my teacher, a fellow practitioner, I visited Niaoshong High School with my parents. After I was admitted, I had the opportunity to learn the Dafa exercises again. (I had some doubts about the significance of doing the exercises during the nine-day class, which kept me from learning the movements by heart.) I truly appreciate that arrangement.
Persisting Through Hardship
Life is not always smooth sailing. At first, I was admitted to the dance department. The pain from stretching my legs overwhelmed me with fear. I was unable to sleep at night not knowing what to do the next day. I couldn’t keep up with the academic and art studies. I had to use all my strength to do everything. I was exhausted, so I thought of escaping or even leaving the school.
With the help of many teachers, I was quickly transferred to the music department. I had no previous experience learning music and had to start everything from scratch. But I was willing to stay.
I realized that only by believing in Master and the Fa could I forge ahead. I told myself that there was no turning back, and I must overcome the fear that made me retreat. After that, my body and mind became less and less tense. In terms of how to handle my studies and everyday life, I reminded myself just to do my best and not be taken over by anxiety. Letting go of attachments also strengthened my faith in the Fa.
Breakthrough
I recall that it was the eve of Teacher’s Day when I first joined the music department. To prepare for the celebration program, I was invited by my junior classmates to practice with them.
This event was a great opportunity for me to overcome my psychological pressure. I always cared too much about what others thought of me and was unable to behave normally. While I was very nervous during the performance, my teacher told me afterward that my voice was very clear, and she assigned me to host another event with the teachers, students, and parents.
I was worried the night before that event. The next day, when I was standing on the stage facing about 150 people, my legs were shaking as I moved forward. I had a hard time keeping from being nervous. I then remembered what a practitioner had said: “I’m not here to validate myself.” I want to convey the joy of studying at this school to every family so that more people can recognize its value.
In an instant, a warm current flowed through my body. I felt very comfortable, and I was able to look right at the people in the audience. It was an amazing experience.
Be Tolerant and Kind
After practicing Falun Dafa, I regained my health and my xinxing also changed. In the past, I didn’t get along well with my younger brother. I disliked him for being unclean and unreasonable. In fact, my brother, who is two years younger than me, has Down syndrome.
When I was a child, I hit my younger brother due to a lack of understanding and consideration. I didn’t want to go out with him for fear of attracting strange looks. Now that I have cultivated Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, I am willing to change myself and accept my brother. I no longer avoid him or reject him because I think his hands are dirty. Instead, I regard him as a good friend and try to spend more time with him.
I also became aware of the painstaking efforts and kindness of my parents. Initially, my parents wanted me to have a sibling, so they decided to have a second child. To take good care of my brother, my mother switched from art education to special education, and my father works hard to support our family. During the lowest period of my life, they worked even harder and did not give up on me.
My parents’ personal example has left a long-lasting example in my heart. They and my younger brother made it possible for me to obtain the Fa. In this complicated and chaotic world, I am fortunate to have entered the pure land of Dafa cultivation.
I’m reading the Dafa books one by one and view the Fa as the teacher to guide me in my daily life. Now, I have not only become more cheerful but also changed many of my notions. I will work hard at my studies and use my actions to validate the wonder of Dafa.
This is my cultivation experience. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2024 Taiwan Falun Dafa Cultivation Experience Sharing Conference)
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