(Minghui.org) I am 84 years old, and I started practicing Falun Dafa before July 20, 1999. During these 20 plus years, Master Li has helped me to improve in cultivation many times.
I did not cultivate diligently and had many attachments. One of them was fear. It was deeply hidden and I did not realize how bad it was until it manifested in a specific situation. Only then did I realize that this attachment had developed to such a dangerous level. One day, while at a supermarket, I spoke to a young attendant about Falun Dafa and the persecution. She told me that she did not know much about Dafa but did not have negative thoughts about it either.
I said, “I have some information that explains what Falun Dafa is. You can take it home and read it, and you will understand the truth about Dafa.” She agreed. I reached into my bag and found a pamphlet that I believed would be suitable for her.
Instead of taking the pamphlet, she made a phone call. I heard her whispering, “Come quickly. She is in the store now. If you don’t hurry, she will be gone.”
I asked, “Who are you calling? You look all secretive.” When she told me that she was calling her friend at the police station, negative thoughts appeared in my mind. She finished the call, took the pamphlet, and asked, “Where did you get this? Who gave it to you? What does he do? Where does he live? What is his name? How old is he?”
I thought it strange and asked why she wanted to know. Instead of answering me, she just asked more questions: “What is your name? Where do you live? How old are you? When did you learn Falun Dafa? Who else in your family practices it?”
Her questions annoyed me. I raised my voice and interrupted her to say, “That is personal information and has nothing to do with you. If you don’t want the pamphlet, please give it back.” She held it and said with a smile, “I was just asking.”
I suddenly recalled something that happened more than 10 years ago: After I handed a pamphlet to a plainclothes policeman, he pointed at it and asked me the exact same questions this store attendant had just asked. I was shocked and doubted her motives.
I thought, “Is this woman a plainclothes police officer? Why did she ask me those same questions? Could this be accidental?” Recalling her mysterious look when she used her cell phone made me think she was reporting me. It seemed likely.
The more I thought about it, the more nervous and scared I became. My instinct told me that something might happen and I should leave as quickly as possible.
I picked up my bag and walked toward the exit. Just as I was about to leave, three police officers came in. However, they didn’t pay attention to me. Many thoughts crossed my mind: “The police came so quickly! That woman must be a plainclothes officer and she reported me. These officers must have come specifically for me.” I thought that I wouldn’t be able to get home and scenes of them ransacking my home, fining me, detaining me, and throwing me in prison flashed through my mind.
I stood there, numb, and my mind went blank. The woman walked over to them and said, “Quickly, the store manager is in the office. She will leave in just a bit.” They headed toward the store office. I came to my senses and realized that the police came to see the store manager, not me. The woman was not a police officer after all and she did not report me.
I was incorrectly alarmed because I was afraid! Only then did I feel a coldness on my back. I had sweat so much that my clothes were soaked. This false alarm completely exposed the fear hidden deep in my mind. I realized that the persecution I experienced more than 10 years ago still overshadowed my thinking. When this situation reminded me of what happened all those years ago, I was overwhelmed with fear.
Master said,
“If you have no fear, the factor that would make you afraid will cease to exist.” (“Eliminate Your Last Attachment(s),” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
This false alarm was caused entirely by my fear, and its severity shocked me. Cultivation in the Fa-rectification period is nearing the end, but I still have such a strong attachment to fear. How could I go home with Master with such an attachment?
Master said,
“The Fa’s rectification of the Cosmos has finished, and now a transition to the Fa’s rectification of the human world is taking place.” (“Wake Up”)
I know that the Fa-rectification of the human world could begin at anytime, which means the cultivation of Dafa practitioners in the Fa-rectification period will come to an end. However, I was still strongly attached to fear and my other attachments such as competitiveness, resentment, jealousy, zealotry, and showing off. If I couldn’t discard all these attachments by then, wouldn’t I lose the opportunity to become a divine being? I was alarmed!
However, I also felt fortunate that Master exposed my biggest attachment to me while I still have a chance to correct myself. Otherwise, I would really stumble over this attachment in the future. I am grateful to Master from deep in my heart for saving me. I would also like to thank this woman for giving me the opportunity to improve.
I am so lucky to be reincarnated as a human in this lifetime in China, lucky that Master came to this world in this period to rectify the Fa of the universe and to save lives, and lucky to be able to cultivate in Dafa. I treasure the opportunity and regard my cultivation as more important than my life.
I considered fear as my biggest attachment to discard. As long as I diligently study the Fa and strictly follow Master’s teachings, I will be able to discard all my attachments, including fear.
As long as I keep assimilating to the characteristics of the universe, cultivating myself into higher realms, and eventually meet the standards for a divine being, Master will take me home. In order to realize my wish to go home with Master, I was determined to study the Fa more diligently and improve myself as quickly as possible.
As I recalled what went through my mind when I experienced the false alarm, and the mentality of fear, I felt ashamed. Following Master’s teaching, Dafa practitioners should discard fear and clarify the truth to the police with dignity. However, I was so afraid that I tried to escape. I did not even think about clarifying the truth to the police. Compared to the Dafa practitioners Master mentioned in his teachings, I was really ashamed. I saw inadequacies in my cultivation, that I lacked righteous thoughts and had too many attachments. I had put myself in the position of being persecuted.
I spent more time studying the Fa after that incident and sincerely looked inward. I gradually improved myself and came to a clear understanding of the relationship between me and the police. I am helping them to receive Dafa’s salvation, not to endure their persecution.
Studying the Fa strengthened my righteous thoughts. I am cultivating the Great Law of the Universe, my Master is the Lord of the Universe and the Lord of all the Kings, I am assisting Master in the Fa-rectification and saving lives, andI am walking on the path to divinity. I asked myself, “What am I afraid of?” I shouted in my mind, “Don’t be afraid of anything! Don’t be afraid of anything! Don’t be afraid of anything!”
When I shouted for the third time, I suddenly heard a “pop” sound in my head. The sound was so loud that I my ears buzzed. Then I heard something falling to the floor. I looked but saw nothing. I realized that Master had shattered the stubborn matter of fear in my mind for me and it fell down. I immediately felt refreshed and my body light. I felt like I was floating. It was very comfortable and wonderful. Master helped me to improve in my cultivation again!
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Category: Improving Oneself
