(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
I’m a 26-year-old practitioner. I began practicing Falun Dafa with my mother when I was very young, and I read the Fa with my mother and brother. The principles always resonated with me, and I understood Master’s teachings as the truth. However, my thoughts always turned towards entertainment and having a good time rather than cultivating. This situation didn’t get better, and I stopped reading Zhuan Falun in 2013.
After that, I had a dream. I was driving down an alleyway near my house at night when rays of golden light suddenly shot upwards into the sky. I saw that the rays were people soaring away from the world, enveloped in a golden light. After they departed, the world itself turned golden, but I was left behind. Looking at this in hindsight, it was an obvious hint from Master of what would become of me as a result of the current path I was traveling. I also realized Master was encouraging me to assume my responsibility as a Dafa disciple, but my enlightenment at the time was that of an everyday person, so that dream just perplexed me.
I also often let my thoughts wander. Many nights I had the same thought: “What did Master think of me?” I got no response, but I felt like there was a presence listening every time I asked the question.
In 2016, my last year in high school, I had to take exams to enter university, I was anxious about the results and I wanted to find ways to improve my chances. My thoughts turned to Master and the Fa because I knew that miracles could happen. But I was also aware that Master only took care of true practitioners who genuinely wanted to cultivate their hearts. I now look back at this moment in shame, as it was filled with pursuit for good grades and my selfish attempt to use the Fa for personal gain. But I also have immense gratitude for Master, because even though my intention was selfish, he gave me another chance and led me back to my path as a Dafa disciple.
Overcoming Self and Comfort
Last year I was asked to help with Shen Yun when they came to Perth. Overjoyed at the honor of assisting Shen Yun, I leapt at the opportunity. I was asked to help find suitable accommodation based on cost and amenities. I quickly wrote up a list and summary and gave it to the coordinator. I was confident that the task was completed, that I had meaningfully contributed, and that mighty virtue was mine!
However, there weren’t enough options on my list, and I was asked to see if I could find other options or secure lower prices for the ones I’d submitted. My attachment to comfort was triggered, because I realized I needed to do more to achieve satisfactory results.
Another practitioner (who was more experienced in helping with Shen Yun) was also working on the same task, and we had to work together. I provided a similar list to this practitioner. When I gave a recommendation, it was rejected, and when I gave another that made up for the initial flaw, new issues were found. I felt that I’d exhausted all my options and that nothing I suggested met the standard. I grew impatient and agitated. I thought this practitioner was being picky and was aiming for too high a standard that couldn’t be met. I also knew that these standards were ones that this practitioner had set rather than Shen Yun. My thoughts grew even more negative, and I felt that maybe this practitioner was trying to met that standard to validate himself by going above and beyond.
Master said,
“If everyone is good to one another without conflicts of interest or interference from the human mind, and if all you do is just sit there, how can your xinxing improve?” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun)
Why did I expect it to be easy? How could I improve my xinxing if I didn’t have tribulations and if my attachments weren’t exposed, and I just indulged myself and wanted to be comfortable? This was part of the Shen Yun project; how could it be smooth sailing? How could I genuinely assist this project in saving sentient beings if I continued to hold on to human notions and was suspicions of others—fellow practitioners, no less.
I changed my thinking and carefully considered the issues that were pointed out. Upon closer examination, everything that was pointed out were real risks that could seriously affect the team once they arrived or would result in higher costs in logistics.
My wish to be comfortable and lessen my workload gave me excuses to look outward rather than inward. I was completely blind to reason. I was the one who was self-validating, not this practitioner. I was concerned about being a key figure in the project, rather than actually making it a success, and lessening the already tremendous load on the Shen Yun team in helping Master save sentient beings.
I pushed aside my irritated feelings I had at the thought of having to do more work and committed myself to doing what needed to be done. However, the next time I contacted that practitioner, one of our options met the standard, and our work progressed to the next stage.
This situation was truly a precious opportunity that exposed many critical issues in my cultivation. I shudder to think what mistakes I could have made if I didn’t eliminate my strong ego and wish to be comfortable as the project continued. Our responsibilities expanded. If I hadn’t been shown my attachments, I would have been ill-prepared for the responsibilities that followed.
Eliminating Fear
I was introverted and anxious when I had to meet new people because I found it very difficult to find topics to chat about. However, I helped at community events where I had to talk to government representatives and candidates and introduce Shen Yun. Whenever I needed to talk to someone (especially at work), I came up with excuses not to. For example, if I needed clarification on a project’s requirements, I tried to gauge them or I sent emails rather than making phone calls or talking to the person in the office.
My fear of interacting with people was making me act in ways that were not normal and certainly not that of a dignified cultivator. My attachment to comfort also stopped me from engaging in conversations with strangers. It wasn’t until my manager asked me (no doubt Master’s arrangement) to talk to people and help clarify the truth to government officials, that I finally set aside my fear and spoke to people in the community.
Before I even approached the person, I felt very uncomfortable. It was like a gut-wrenching nausea, trying to steer me away. But I knew fear was attempting to prevent me from carrying out my duties. The same feeling occurred when I wanted to call government offices to clarify the truth to representatives or speak to Shen Yun patrons over the phone. I would speak very hesitantly, and I could hear myself stuttering. But Master has said that we need to do the three things well. I can’t let fear stop me from fulfilling my vows and I cannot consummate if I have the attachment to fear.
I pushed through and said what needed to be said to the assistants of government representatives. I also forced myself to meet new people at government events despite my social inexperience. The nausea from fear got weaker and weaker with every interaction. I also had the chance to clarify the truth to people, which wouldn’t have happened if I’d remained stuck in my old ways. If I hadn’t taken up government work, I would not have realized or worked on this crippling attachment of fear. I am very thankful to be involved in this and that Master arranged this for me.
Getting Up Early and Doing the Exercises
For a long time, I hadn’t taken doing the exercises seriously. I would go months without doing any at all or sometimes I did them twice a week. I also slept for 10 hours and would get up at 10:00 a.m. or later. When I had a part-time job that started at 7:00 a.m., I came home and took a nap rather than do the exercises or other projects. Even though I got more sleep than the average person, I still felt tired.
When I started working full-time, I took advantage of the chance to start early, at 7:00 a.m. to avoid traffic as well as a reason to not sleep so much. However, I just got tired earlier in the day and I thought the work was difficult.
Local practitioners set up an early morning exercise session on the Internet. I decided to join them, but I often hit the snooze button on my alarm and missed some days.
I completely disregarded the seriousness of doing the exercises and overlooked my attachment to laziness. I made the excuse that cultivating one’s xinxing was a priority and that it was fine to do the exercises when one had time. However, when I had time, I didn’t make any effort to do them. Instead, I slept or browsed the Internet on my phone.
After I missed doing the early exercises for an entire week, a practitioner pointed out that there were initially 10-15 participants, but the number had dwindled to two. She encouraged us to attend. Her words were well intentioned, but they felt heavy and accusatory. In reality, it was my attachment to comfort being hit on, and Master was giving me a hint to help me make a breakthrough, stop hitting the snooze button, and resist the entity that is laziness that was trying to keep me from making progress in my cultivation.
Spurred by this other practitioner, I forced myself out of bed every morning before work. I was very groggy the first week—I ached all over and I had a headache. The next week, the aches and pain in my shoulders subsided. Getting up and doing the exercises meant that I only had about six hours of sleep, yet I no longer felt tired as I did when I had nearly double that amount. I’m also much sharper at work and don’t feel tired at all during the day.
I am forever grateful for the opportunity to contribute to Shen Yun, to clarifying the truth to the government, and to other projects. Initially, my motive was selfish, all the way back from when I returned to the Fa. But with the help of fellow practitioners, Master’s mercy, and his arrangements, my crippling attachments that I would otherwise be completely ignorant of have shown themselves and greatly weakened. I am learning to cherish all the bitterness and suffering that comes, for it’s been extremely effective in revealing my attachments so I can eliminate them.
If my sharing has helped any practitioner in their current or future tribulations, I feel honored to be of assistance.
The above is my current understanding. If I have shared anything that isn’t on the Fa, please kindly point it out.
Thank you, Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!
(Presented at the 2024 Australia Fa Conference)
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