(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. I measure every thought based on Falun Dafa’s standards of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, and my family members, relatives, and friends all know Falun Dafa is good. My younger sister said, “You should leave China to escape the persecution. We will lend you the money if you don’t have enough.”
My older sister said, “The Chinese Communist Party (CCP) is good at confusing right and wrong. Of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance, which quality is not good?” I reminded them to always say, “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good.” Because they know Falun Dafa is good, the people around me enjoy good health, harmonious marriages, and successful careers.
My son asked me, “Mom, after I get married, will you get along with your daughter-in-law?” I told him, “Don’t worry. I practice Falun Dafa. I can get along with anyone.” I didn’t expect to have issues with my future daughter-in-law.
The Story of Three Mops
My daughter-in-law purchased a square mop. She said we needed a new mop because the old one did not clean the floor well. I explained, “I know it’s not that good, but I can still use it. Didn’t I just buy a new one? I paid 200 yuan for it. You can take the one you bought to your mother.”
My daughter-in-law replied, “My mom already has one.” I said, “This square mop cannot clean the corners, especially under the bed. The New Year is coming. Why don't you take it to your mom’s home to clean the windows? I think it will be good for that.” I didn’t expect she would insist on keeping it.
Because I’m a practitioner, I should not force my ideas on others, so I didn’t say anything. But I silently began to complain: “She enjoys spending money. I told her I bought an expensive one and stored it in the bathroom. I also showed her how well it worked. Why did she go against me? Did I spend all that money for nothing?"
I relented and said, “Okay. I’ll take turns using them.” As a result, there were three mops in the bathroom.
Whenever I mopped the floor using the square mop, I had a combative and complaining mindset and wanted to show them the new mop didn’t work well. However, the new mop worked very well, and the floor was much cleaner! I realized that everything has its life cycle. The old mop was too old, and it didn’t work anymore. In fact, it left a watermark on the floor whenever I used it. If my daughter-in-law hadn’t pointed it out, I wouldn’t have realized the floor wasn’t clean.
I realized this conflict happened because I still had attachments to competitiveness, saving face, and self-interest. I decided to eliminate them. I quietly removed the old mop from the bathroom. But I thought I’d keep the new mop I bought, so now there were two mops in the bathroom. In other words, I had not completely let go of my attachments. I was still quietly competing with my daughter-in-law.
However, after I mopped the floor a few times with the square mop, I discovered more of its advantages. It was water-saving; it covered a large area, and was easy to use. There was also a perfect place in the bathroom to store the square mop. It even looked better than the round mop I'd bought.
I immediately realized "I’m a cultivator" and looked at the situation from that perspective: Why did I still have such strong attachments? Would a cultivator have those attachments? My daughter-in-law bought the mop with good intentions, but I was picky. She knows Dafa is good and respects my practice. But if I went on like this, was I validating Dafa?
I needed to let her see the goodness of Dafa. Master saw I had those attachments and arranged for her to help me improve. Why was my enlightenment so poor? How could I not let go of those attachments? In the end I removed the new round mop I'd bought from the bathroom.
The bathroom went from three to two to one mop. It looked neater. The experience was like the process of giving up my attachments. I let go of them one by one. My heart became bigger, and my mind became broader.
I told my son and daughter-in-law, “This new mop is excellent. At first, I thought it was not good, but after using it a few times, I discovered it is indeed good. It saves water and detergent, mops a large area, and is easy to care for. It is better than the one I bought. It seems like it was custom-made for our bathroom. It is perfect.” My son and daughter-in-law smiled.
Finding Answers in Dafa
My son and my daughter-in-law occasionally argued over small things. When she cried I comforted her, and she was okay. A few days ago, they argued again. She wept and complained about my son. My son said she had psychological problems and always cried. She wondered if she had a mental illness.
I told my daughter-in-law that crying won’t solve the problem. “When I hear you cry, it upsets me. My son was only scolding you. He does not think you are mentally ill.”
I told my son, “You should consider other people’s ability to accept what you say. As a husband, you should be understanding and tolerant of your wife. You think it’s a casual remark, and it doesn’t mean anything. But the listener may take it seriously. Aren’t you hurting her?”
My daughter-in-law later told me, “I’m sorry we made you worry.” My son said, “Mom, I understand what you’re saying.”
The following day when I read Zhuan Falun Master said,
“Tense situations with others will come up unexpectedly for those of us who practice. How can you be prepared, then? If you can always be compassionate and calm, you will handle the issues that arise in your life well since you will have a buffer, in a sense. Things will work out well if you are always compassionate and good to others, thoughtful towards people, and handle whatever situations you get into with people by first pausing to consider how well your actions will go over with the other party and whether anyone will be hurt by them. You should hold yourself to high standards and raise the bar still further as you practice.” (The Fourth Talk, Zhuan Falun)
While reading this paragraph of Fa, I thought this was the solution to the friction between my son and daughter-in-law. All beings came for the Fa; I should guide them to find their answers in Dafa. Before my son left for work at noon, I called them to my room. Holding the book Zhuan Falun, I turned to this paragraph and said, “This paragraph enlightened me. I’m going to read it to you, then each of you please read it once.”
I read it and then handed the book to my son, and he read it once. After he read, he gave the book to his wife. I said, “If something is my fault, I will correct it. In the future, we should do what Master said. Son, your wife makes you breakfast and lunch. Have you thanked her?” My son replied, “No.” He told my daughter-in-law, “Thank you for your hard work!” My daughter-in-law and I laughed heartily.
The two words “solid cultivation” appear at the end of Zhuan Falun. I still need to catch up when I compare myself to other practitioners. I will continue to improve my xinxing and assimilate to Dafa. I hope to quickly reach Master’s requirements and fulfill my mission.
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Category: Improving Oneself
