(Minghui.org) Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow practitioners.
I’m a middle school student at the Northern Academy of the Arts (NAA). I would like to share some major events on my cultivation journey of overcoming tribulations and letting go of various human attachments.
My neighbor told me about Falun Dafa in 2020. My parents started practicing in June 2023. However, I obtained the Fa in October 2023 when I truly started cultivating. My mother encouraged my sister and I to practice, but we didn’t really cultivate ourselves. I read Zhuan Falun and did the exercises, but at school I still acted like an ordinary person full of human attachments. I sometimes lied to my mom and said I already studied the Fa and did the exercises, but instead I was using my Internet device to chat with my friends, watch videos, and listen to modern music.
What I listened to was very inappropriate. When a new song was trending and I listened to it, I thought, “Why would they ever make songs about this inappropriate thing, which praises demons or includes all kinds of curse words?”
However, influenced by the Internet and hearing friends or classmates sing these songs and discuss them, I found myself doing the same thing. I knew that my mother would never let me listen to such songs. So, I locked myself in my room, telling my parents that I had homework. Instead, I listened to music and chatted with my friends.
This continued for a couple of weeks. I became more and more distant from my parents and behaving badly. I wasn’t following the first characteristic of the universe: Truthfulness. My mother began having trust issues with me and became stricter with the family, which sort of made me rebel against what she practiced. At that time I was too naive to understand.
Having a Righteous Mindset
Swearing, bullying, and gossiping were part of my behavior. I didn’t have a righteous mindset. When something bad happened to me I blamed others instead of looking inward. I rarely handled situations with compassion, which is another characteristic of the universe. Some of these situations really affected my relationship with my parents.
I soon noticed my character was declining. I knew I was doing wrong deeds but I didn’t know how to stop. I was very confused when I did something wrong and how it made me feel good and satisfied with myself, even though what I did was not righteous, and did not follow Falun Dafa’s principles. I knew that my choices and actions were wrong, because why would I worry about my parents yelling at me if I was a good kid and always trying to do the right thing?
I started to think about how I was taking the demonic path. One night, I thought of Master and prayed that I would at least be a better person by the end of the year.
A few days later, I read Zhuan Falun Lecture Six about “Demonic Interference.”
Master said,
“...we have indeed seen there are demons interfering, preventing you from practicing qigong. All these arise from karmic relationships and are not without rhyme or reason. If there were no cause or reason, it would not be allowed to be like this.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
After I read this, I realized that it was this kind of interference that was preventing my mind from being righteous, and I had to change myself in order to have a righteous mindset.
I started to be more kind and understanding to people at school and those around me. I apologized to those I made fun of since it was from my own karma and it was probably just a karmic relationship.
An Unexpected Opportunity
When I returned from school one afternoon my mother told me that I was going to Northern Academy in New York. At first, I was excited but when I started to think about it I knew it was going to be a big change, and I felt I wasn’t ready for it.
My mother ignored my complaints. Since I lived in the dorm, I made friends pretty quickly. However, I still gossiped and swore a lot. My tolerance was awful. I had prejudice towards people I didn’t like. Whenever someone did something I considered weird, I badmouthed them to my friends. The choices I made when I first came here were really unacceptable.
My unrighteous choices and actions were turning into habits. The dorm teachers talked about it with me. I knew they cared and wanted me to become a better cultivator, but I still didn’t really care. Therefore, I still continued to not improve much. I was rude to my dorm teacher and didn’t follow most of the dorm rules. I wasn’t very considerate of others. With all of those wrongdoings plus badmouthing people with friends, I generated a lot of karma for myself.
When the second month of the school year passed I faced a big tribulation that I believe changed my thinking greatly, in my cultivation journey. My friends started teasing me and were no longer friendly. Again, I looked outward and said they were selfish and mean.
Master said,
“...when you come across a conflict you should not consider it a coincidence. This is because when a conflict occurs, it will take place unexpectedly.” (Lecture Four, Zhuan Falun).
In my understanding, when a conflict takes place unexpectedly, it’s to see if a person will take the situation lightly or not. This test was caused by my own karma and was arranged to remove my human attachments. Soon, most of my friends started to ignore me.
Cultivating the Heart
When I first came to Northern Academy, I still wasn’t fully into the Fa and didn’t really cultivate myself. But when this tribulation occurred. I knew I had to change, because I remember my father told me that in order to change someone you need to change yourself first. I started to regret those times when I couldn’t control my temper and have a righteous mind. I was still badmouthing them, but I gradually stopped. I couldn’t have done this without studying the Fa every day, sending righteous thoughts, and sharing and getting help from dorm teachers.
I realized I shouldn’t be angry at them or take it to heart, because that isn’t how a practitioner should behave. Instead, I should thank them and look inward. This tribulation was meant for me to remove my attachments and improve my xinxing.
I started to make better choices and attend Fa study more often. I apologized to my dorm teacher and I shared a lot of experiences and my thoughts about cultivation with her. She helped me through this tribulation and reminded me to have righteous thoughts and to remove the attachments I still have.
When other xinxing conflicts occur, I handle them better than before. However when a conflict takes place, My first thought is, “Why is this person doing this to me?” or, “Why does this person act like this?” I quickly realized that this was for me to improve my xinxing, remove my attachments and that I should take this problem lightly.
Realizing How Strong My Jealousy Is and Overcoming It
Fei Tian Academy (Shen Yun) is a popular topic among NAA students. Meeting certain standards is required in order to apply for Fei Tian Academy. I’m not tall enough yet. Some of my friends are taller than I am, which makes me feel bad about myself. I realized this was jealousy, a strong attachment that I should get rid of.
This attachment also surfaces in dance class, such as when I’m switched to a bad position for a dance. I was a bit disappointed that I was mad at the teacher and the students who were assigned a better position. I asked myself if thinking like this is being like a genuine cultivator or not. I quickly realized that this was a test, to see if I could take this small conflict to heart. I calmed down, but I started to lose my temper again when a student loudly began correcting people.
I couldn’t control my reaction. Why was I angry about this? This happened because of my own karma, and it means that it will be able to transform into the white substance de and this was a chance for me to improve my xinxing. Therefore, I really should thank the student from the bottom of my heart. I shouldn’t let this conflict upset me, because without tribulations how can I improve my self in cultivation?
I continue to remind myself about this when conflicts occur. I still have a lot to work on. I still have various attachments that I have to remove and a long cultivation road to travel. I realized, when it feels like I’m at the lowest point I just need to remember the Fa, and look inward. Then everything else will follow.
I tend to worry about my future. I think about whether I really trust what Master has arranged for me or not. Isn’t being worried also an attachment? I came to the realization that everyone has their own road and journey in cultivation and life, there will be times when you’ll regret some things and other times when you achieve some things. As long as you continue to cultivating your xinxing then everything will be fine.
Concluding Remarks
After facing tribulations, I realize how much I changed and improved. Getting help has been an important part of my cultivation journey so far, and I believe it’s perfectly fine because I wouldn’t be here without the help of my friends and dorm teachers. I know I still have a lot to work on, a lot of attachments and desires to remove, and I need to make more righteous choices. I try to study the Fa and practice the exercises every day, cultivate diligently, and set high standards for myself.
Please kindly remind me if I anything I said is wrong or not in line with the Fa in this sharing.
Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow practitioners.
(Shared at the Northern Academy of the Arts Experience Sharing Conference)
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