(Minghui.org) I am near 70 years old and have cultivated in Dafa for 28 years. Please find below my cultivation experience over the past three years.
Learning to Look Inward While Establishing a Materials Production Site
Our Fa study group ended on New Year’s Day in 2020 given the pandemic lockdown, and we could not go out to clarify the truth. The practitioner who was responsible for making the truth-clarifying materials was in a southern city taking care of her grandson, and her family members, who had been helping her make the materials, often had technical issues with the equipment. I suggested that I could produce the materials, but they insisted on doing it.
The lockdown ended in March 2020. At that time, I gave 10,000 yuan to the coordinator to help me buy and set up a materials site. She purchased a second-hand laptop computer and two new printers with ink cartridges, and brought them to my home.
A practitioner with good technical skills came to my home to install the security system a few days later. I was happy and said casually, “You can also install the StarP2P (a software to help people in China to circumvent the CCP’s Internet blockade and watch overseas TV programs), I want to watch how you do it.” Unexpectedly, he yelled, “I am too busy to install it for you. How will you have time to use it?” My smile froze as if some cold water was running down my face. I didn’t know what to say, and I felt bad and embarrassed!
After the technical practitioner left, I couldn’t calm down for a long time. I thought, “Why did you treat me this way? I have never been treated like that, so do you think I can’t do anything? I have StarP2P software, I can install it myself, and I can also print the materials. Who do you think I am? I was just being humble.” Negative thoughts were flooding my mind.
I suddenly had a shocking thought, “Am I still a cultivator, thinking this way? I was treating myself as a regular person. Why didn’t I look within to see what I did wrong?” Indeed, I had never looked within, especially when working on Dafa projects, and I thought I was doing alright. Isn’t this a display of being indoctrinated by the CCP? I didn’t want to be criticized, and didn’t like to hear unpleasant words.
The practitioner’s words exposed many of my attachments, including looking down on others, fighting, saving face, showing off, being impatient, and so on. After I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate the attachments, I felt relaxed, which was a feeling I never had in the past.
Another practitioner installed the printer and showed me how to turn it on and print. After he left, I couldn’t wait, and printed out a large pile of paper for the booklets. I printed from pages 1 to 32; but the pages were all single-sided. I wondered how to fix it. I went to find practitioner Peng to come over to help. She came and had an ugly expression on her face. She clicked on a few places with the mouse, threw the mouse and said, “Don’t you know how to do it? I can’t do it!” She left.
Looking at her back, I complained in my mind, “Back then, I saved money and bought this computer for you to learn and do things. You’ve been using it for many years, how can you not know how to do it? Didn’t I buy you a big laptop and a new printer? This is to save people, why should I put up with you?” As I was thinking these things, I felt that something was wrong, “Why did she treat me like this? If there is something wrong on my part, I need to look within.”
I found within that I was too happy in front of her after I bought the machine, thinking I would no longer need her help, now that I had my own printer. I found attachments to competitiveness, jealousy, winnng, and many others.
Master said:
“Whether your motive is to save sentient beings, to validate the Fa, or to make progress in your own cultivation, they are ordeals all the same. They aren’t supposed to make way for you just because you think, “I’m doing this for Dafa” or “I’m doing this to save sentient beings.”” (“Fa Teaching at the 2008 New York Conference”)
Master looks after us all the time. The things I encountered were all for my xinxing elevation. Aren’t they good things?
Then, when I picked up the mouse, I saw the pointer moving toward “scope.” I clicked on “all pages” and I saw “even or odd.” Master taught me how to print! I separated the even pages from the odd pages, set up the printer, and I successfully printed the brochure.
Taking Over the Responsibility of a Materials Site
Everyone in our area was forced to get vaccinated for the Covid-19 virus in 2021. Every street and community was inspected one by one. One day, practitioner Ying, who is in her 70s, came to me and said that the village head, along with some police officers and gangsters, had come to her home six times to force her to get vaccinated. She told them that the state stipulated that vaccinations were voluntary, but they would not listen. They also wouldn’t listen to her clarifying the truth. An officer said viciously to her, “I will search your house now if you don’t get vaccinated.”
Ying was responsible for supplying the Dafa materials to several Fa study sites for more than ten years, and she had a lot of the materials on her second floor that had not yet been distributed. She didn’t want the police to go upstairs and search, so she chose to go with them. They pulled her into a car and took her to the village office to get vaccinated.
After returning home, Ying was afraid that something might happen and said, “It’s not true if I say I’m not afraid, but I no longer want to supply the materials.” Looking at her, I thought she was really amazing for what she had done before. She had endured pressure for more than ten years and provided the materials to other practitioners. I comforted her, “Don’t be afraid, we have Master! No one dares to touch you. The evil can’t find the materials!” I told her to pack everything and take them to my relative’s house. She knew my relative, so she was relieved and regained energy. I rode my bike to my relative’s house, got their agreement, and we scheduled a time to move the materials.
After her equipment was set up at my relative’s house, I took over the duty of preparing the materials, and I supplied the materials to a number of the practitioners in several Fa study groups. I knew this was Master’s arrangement.
I can deeply feel the difficulty of practitioner Ying who had been running the materials site for so many years. She made copies of DVDs, and made the truth-clarifying pamphlets. She also went to the mountains one day every week to clarify the truth and distribute pamphlets, and she broke two motorcycles in the process. During those years, she didn’t accept a dime of financial assistant from other practitioners. I felt embarrassed as I compared myself to her.
A practitioner in the same community where I live was illegally detained and had not been released. I felt unsafe having the materials production site at my place and wanted to find another place to make the materials. There happened to be an elderly practitioner whose home was suitable, so we moved the the equipment to her home.
I am now responsible for accessing the Internet, downloading, and printing. She is responsible for binding, delivering, and buying supplies. I download the Minghui Weekly and some of its audio files, and save them onto the MP3 audio players for the elderly practitioners to listen to. I also download Master’s new articles and study the Fa with the elderly practitioners.
We gradually found more than twenty elderly practitioners to participate in a group Fa study there. They also helped me a lot. Many of them get up early in the morning to do the exercises, and have done it every day for more than twenty years. I also began to get up early and do the exercises in the morning, and I have tried letting go of my attachment to ease and laziness.
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