(Minghui.org) Master addressed jealousy in his teachings (Fa) and emphasized the severe consequences if this is not eliminated. People in China who grew up immersed in the CCP (Chinese Communist Party) culture have some jealousy, but my jealousy is particularly strong.
I noted my jealousy after I began practicing Falun Dafa. I’ve been working hard to eliminate this bad attachment but I haven’t completely removed it. It surfaces if I don’t pay attention and I regret my words and actions afterwards. I often get caught up in this vicious cycle and it severely affected my ability to improve in cultivation.
I was born in a village and my parents favored boys over girls. Because I was a girl my parents ignored me. I was smart and tried to perform better than others to win my parents’ praise. My father told me to study hard in school as getting enrolled in a college was the only way to move to cities for villagers.
I studied hard and my grades were among the best in primary and middle school. When I was in high school, my classmates asked me questions or wanted to borrow my materials. I was reluctant to help anyone because I was worried they would do better than me. Thus, the seeds of jealousy, resentment, and a narrow minded and selfish mentality were planted in my heart.
I thought my daughter was outstanding and she should find a good husband. The result was not what I hoped for and it made me sad. I could not sleep and would cry when I saw her suffer. I had strong sentiments towards my daughter and did not treat myself as a practitioner when it came to her. When I saw my relative’s children living a better life, I felt it was unfair and always measured things with human notions.
Feelings of unfairness are a manifestation of jealousy. I kept looking within and dispelled my bad thoughts. Relationships between people are the result of karmic retribution and I should use it to improve in cultivation. Everyone’s path in life is arranged based on their karma and not their capabilities. Everything a practitioner encounters is there for a reason and we should look at things from the perspective of the Fa.
Jealousy shows up in many ways such as when others received a larger bonus—I felt it was unfair; my husband’s wages were less than mine, so I was upset; he often drank and when he was drunk, he talked nonsense. If I saw him talking to other women, I was angry, suspicious, and fought with him.
When I retired, I wanted to learn IT skills. I approached a practitioner for help but he made discouraging remarks and was reluctant to teach me. I could not take it.
Then I remembered that when I was in school, I was reluctant to help my classmates when they asked me questions. This is an opportunity for me to improve. I continued to help practitioners who did not cultivate themselves and share understandings on the Fa so that we could improve together. Master looks after all practitioners and arranges their cultivation path. I can only look at myself and practice cultivation. When I see shortcomings in other practitioners, it’s fine to point it out kindly so that we can improve together.
In fact, practitioners are like a mirror, when you see their faults, you should look at yourself and see if you have the same attachments.
I sent righteous thoughts to eliminate my jealousy. Master let me see the different manifestations of jealousy. Once, while meditating, I saw a woman whose body was orange and half translucent. I knew her body turned this color because of jealousy. Another time, in my dreams, I saw jealousy was like a large, green plant much taller than me. It had branches and thorns. It had a white root and it was thick. I dug it out including the roots, and pulled it out of the earth to destroy it.
Jealousy is connected to many other things. If one is introverted and attached to emotion, it can lead to jealousy; selfish thoughts such as attachments to gain, competitive mentality, lust, suspicion, seeking comfort and being self centered may cause us to become jealous. If we don’t get rid of jealousy, it can strengthen our other attachments. The root cause is selfishness.
Jealousy is a double edged sword, it hurts oneself as well as others. The old forces arranged this persecution under the pretext of testing practitioners out of jealousy. Consequently, they interfered with Master in Fa-recitification and destroyed sentient beings as well as themselves. Former CCP head Jiang Zemin launched this persecution out of jealousy and thus chose to be weeded out.
If practitioners don’t get rid of our jealousy, we will not reach consummation. We must cultivate ourselves and remove our jealousy. We should be happy for others when something good happens to them and be considerate.
These are some of my understandings at my current level. Please point it out if there’s anything that is not in line with the Fa!
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Category: Improving Oneself
