(Minghui.org) My resentment towards my husband intensified over the course of our eleven year marriage and reached its peak two years ago. I felt I was the only one contributing to our relationship.
I was working but my husband always had me run errands. Even though he did not make much money and did not take care of our children, he criticized me. My resentment grew.
Master saw my strong attachment so he let me see a scene from a past lifetime: I hurt my husband by shooting several arrows into his neck. Even though I saw our karmic relationship I still resented him when he treated me poorly. Although the resentment gradually lessened after I began practicing Falun Dafa, I lacked compassion for him.
I went through multiple cultivation tests to remove my resentment and I was gradually able to improve. But I never completely eliminated it until I experienced the following events.
When I was about to fall asleep one night, I asked my husband to bring me a charger. He threw it on the blanket and it hit the tablet in front of me and cracked the screen. I wasn’t angry but it reminded me of another incident which involved a charger.
My nephew was hospitalized several years ago. I went home to get a charger. It was difficult for me to climb six flights of stairs while carrying my baby daughter who weighed more than 10 kilograms (about 22 lbs). I called my husband and asked him to bring the charger downstairs but he refused.
I had no choice but to ask a neighbor who lived downstairs to hold my daughter while I ran up six flights of stairs to get the charger. Seeing my husband sitting on the sofa, I was so angry that I wanted to hit him, but I didn’t. I hated him for a long time after that incident.
When I thought about these two incidents that involved chargers, I suddenly realized the karmic relationship between my husband and I: He doesn’t need to do anything for me because I owe him. If he did something for me, I would have to pay a price.
Another incident also helped me understand my husband’s hurtful behaviors towards me. I put the porridge I made the night before in a cooker. The next morning, he ate some of the porridge for breakfast before going to the construction site. He wanted to keep the rest warm for me, however, he pressed the wrong setting and the porridge became hard. I couldn’t help but complain until I thought about his good intention, and I understood, because of our past-life karmic relationship, he didn’t need to do anything for me.
Another incident helped me realize more clearly the karmic relationship between my husband and I. One day, I placed the laundry in the washing machine before I went to work. When he came home, the washing machine was making a strange noise, so he turned it off. When I came home, I saw the washing machine’s door was jammed. I was angry and blamed him, but he defended himself. I had to go through a lot of trouble to get the machine fixed.
From these incidents I knew that nothing is coincidental. Master said, “Since ancient times gods have never loosened their grip on any nation or any individual.” (“Fa Teaching Given at the 2005 Canada Fa Conference”)
Because I am a Falun Dafa practitioner how could there be no reason for my husband to treat me poorly? His behavior was a result of the karma I incurred in a previous lifetime because I hurt him. Although Master arranged my cultivation so I could repay my karmic debts, I still need to enlighten and endure what was laid out for me and improve my xinxing. Master’s Fa explains this principle clearly. I just could not understand it due to my poor enlightenment quality and strong attachments.
I’ve stopped complaining about my husband. Now, when he does nothing at home, I no longer feel the situation is unfair and I don’t expect anything from him. I can now consider the situation from his perspective.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
