(Minghui.org) I am a female Falun Dafa practitioner living in a rural area. I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2008. In the following years, I suffered from recurring illness karma that made me unable to consistently attend the group Fa study sessions. Most days I studied the Fa at home.
When my illness karma was severe, and I felt as if my life was hanging by a thread. I lay in bed and recited Master’s “On Dafa,” and a few poems from Hong Yin that I had just memorized. I would then slowly lose consciousness. When I woke up, I thanked Master in my heart for saving me again. With firm belief in Master and Dafa, I got through these stages of body purification again and again.
I have stumbled many times during the past 15 years of cultivation, but compassionate Master has always cared for me.
I would like to share my cultivation experience of letting go of attachements and improving xinxing amidst conflicts during the past few years of doing Dafa projects.
Eliminating My Incorrect State and Doing Dafa Projects
I began to go to group Fa study during the Chinese New Year in 2014. After six months my left leg started to hurt, and became more and more severe.
I shared with a fellow practitioner from another village, and began to understand that practitioners have a mission. At that time, the wave of suing Jiang Zemin, the former leader of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), and the person responsible for the persecution of Falun Dafa, had just begun. I therefore took on the task of this project in our village. After fellow practitioners sued Jiang using their real names, and I received confirmation that the government had received the required documents, I no longer experienced any leg pain.
I didn’t have a computer at home. When I was working on this project, I had to go to neighboring villages to find their coordinators for help. So I felt that taking on the task was truly difficult, and thought, “I’ll never do projects again.” As soon as I had that thought, the symptom of non-stop bleeding emerged and I was unable to eat. At the point when my life was in danger, Master saved me once again.
Although I understood that I was still responsible for the mission, I felt that there was already a coordinator in my village. Moreover, I was a new practitioner who began cultivation ten years after the majority of the other practitioners, and felt that I didn’t have the ability to lead the projects.
There were a dozen other practitioners in my village. They saw that my body was becoming weaker and weaker, and they were all worried about me. Master also hinted that I should do projects to validate the Fa. After 45 days, I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I will do projects.” As soon as I had this thought, all the incorrect states disappeared. I asked my son, who is a fellow practitioner, to come home and help me buy a computer. He installed the system for me, and taught me how to access the Minghui website.
The coordinator in my village at that time had a lot of things going on at home, so she asked me to get involved whenever there were Dafa projects. After a while, I also wanted to make truth-clarification materials, so a coordinator from another village gave me a small printer. As a person who didn’t even know how to hold a mouse in the past, with Master’s blessing, fellow practitioners’ encouragement, and my two children’s help, I learned to use the Internet and print truth-clarification materials.
Clarifying the Truth Face to Face to Save Sentient Beings
I took the truth-clarification materials I had just learned to make, and went out with a fellow practitioner to distribute them and clarify the truth face to face in the winter of 2015. Soon, other practitioners joined us. At first, some of us didn’t know how to clarify the truth face to face, so they sent forth righteous thoughts. Gradually, a dozen of us all learned to distribute materials and clarify the truth face to face.
Initially, many people refused to accept the materials and even cursed at us. But, within two years, more and more people learned what Falun Dafa is about and understood what we were doing. As time went by, when we went to the market, people there would ask us for the truth-clarification materials, pendants, and amulets. Every day we helped more people quit the CCP and its affiliated organizations. Regardless of the weather, I went out with fellow practitioners every morning and made truth-clarification materials in the afternoon.
Over several years, we went to many places to distribute and post truth-clarification materials. We wanted all sentient beings to be able to understand the truth and be blessed by Master’s compassion.
During the pandemic, the environment became very harsh and the villages and roads were all locked down. But we did not slack off, as we realized the urgency of saving people, and the preciousness of sentient beings. When the main roads were closed, we took the shorter roads. When we couldn’t get through epidemic prevention stations on bikes, we walked around them. We asked Master to give us wisdom so we could deliver truth-clarification materials to the doors of all sentient beings.
Minghui calls for papers twice a year and we participated both times. We also made greeting cards for May 13th, Mid-Autumn Festival, and Chinese New Year every year. Every practitioner wanted to show Master their gratitude.
Our face-to-face truth clarification greatly shocked the evil. The local police received orders from their superiors, and arrested Dafa practitioners in the markets many times. Whenever that occurred, we cooperated to resist the persecution with righteous thoughts and actions. Some of us sent forth righteous thoughts, some notified other practitioners, and some exposed the persecution on the Minghui website. The practitioners who were arrested also clarified the truth to the police, holding kind thoughts and the wish to save them.
Most of the practitioners in our village have been arrested. Under Master’s compassionate care and protection, each of us was released, and returned home safely, shortly after the arrest. None of the practitioners became afraid or passive after returning home. They all immediately joined the one-body to do the three things.
Last year, with Master’s hints, fellow practitioners worked together. Almost all practitioners bought computers and learned how to get on the Minghui website.
Facing Sudden Conflicts
One afternoon at around 5 p.m., two practitioners from another village brought two people that I didn’t know to my home. They said they wanted to share with fellow practitioners in my village. I said, “Most people are cooking dinner right now. We can share in the group Fa study tonight.” Just then, a coordinator from that village also came, and offered to have them share in his home. He also asked practitioners from my village to go.
When the practitioners from the two villages arrived, practitioner Jia asked me to first talk about the issue with my printers. I said, “My printers are having issues, and I think it is Master telling me to improve.”
Jia pointed at me and said loudly, “Several of your printers are down. It’s a major issue. You should stop working on the project and study the Fa more.” I calmly said okay.
Jia pointed at me and said to the practitioners from my village, “There are so many practitioners in your village. Can’t you tell that she is having a big issue?” He saw that they all stayed silent, and then told me to talk about the conflict I had with a coordinator when I had just started working on a project. I said, “All the practitioners in my village know about it already. That conflict has been resolved and we are cooperating very well.” He said, “Something is really wrong with you. You can’t do the project anymore. You need to look inside.” I said okay.
After I got home, I thought to myself, “Just two days ago, Jia asked me to go to the city to share about forming a whole body, because a major coordinator there had just passed away. Why is he suddenly saying I have a big issue? Where did those two strangers come from? Why are they targeting me? No one has ever discussed any issues with me, so why would they dare to tell me to stop doing Dafa projects?” I was very confused.
Just then, I had a thought in my mind, “This is the CCP evil factors acting.” I then thought to myself, “No matter what the reason was, I just need to be firm in one thing: I am a Dafa practitioner, so I will do what Master asks me to do, and when I encounter problems, I will look inside unconditionally.”
As soon as I held this thought things started to change. The next morning, another practitioner from the city came to my home. He took a look at my printer and found that a cartridge chip was loose and moving. After stabilizing it, everything in the machine moved normally. I enlightened that Master was giving me a hint that my heart should be steady and not moved [Translator note: in Chinese, the word for “chip” has the same pronunciation as the word for “heart.”] I thanked Master in my heart.
Another practitioner came in the afternoon and said to me, “You need to get rid of jealousy and cultivate speech.” I smiled and said yes. I thought the conflict would end there, and I just needed to study the Fa more and improve.
The next day, another practitioner and I drove a tricycle to the city to buy consumables for making materials. After we arrived, the practitioner there asked me, “Are you having conflicts with fellow practitioner so-and-so?” Before I could react, she continued, “Why did you prevent practitioner so-and-so from contacting the practitioners from the neighboring village?”
Only then did I realize why those people said I had big issues. It was not just about the printers. Why were there so many issues being made out of nothing? The practitioner who drove there with me was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to bear it, so he said, “Don’t listen to those things. Take them as good things. They are for you to improve your xinxing.”
I am a person who likes to talk about things openly, face to face. I wanted to eliminate the gaps between practitioners and form one-body to save more people. After I came back, I talked about it at the group Fa study, and fellow practitioners all said it was for me to improve. I said, “It seems that something is wrong with me. I really shouldn’t be doing the projects anymore. I really need to study the Fa and cultivate myself.”
When I got home, I knelt in front of Master’s picture, put my hands together, and said to Master, “Master, I’m having a big issue after doing Fa rectification projects these years. I didn’t fulfill my mission, and I am now surrounded by blame. I am wrong. I can no longer do the projects. I have let down Master.” Then I burst into tears.
From then on, I left right after the group Fa study and exercises without saying a thing.
After a few days, I felt that my body had undergone great changes. I used to have a feeling of warmth in my hands when I sent forth righteous thoughts, but it was gone. I used to feel that I was surrounded by warm energy, but that disappeared. I suddenly awakened. I hurriedly knelt down in front of Master’s picture, put my hands together and said, “Master, I am so selfish. I only want to benefit from Dafa and avoid conflicts. My mission has not been completed yet. I still must do the projects that I’m supposed to do.” In an instant, everything in me was restored, and I burst into tears.
When I was making The Nine Commentaries On the Communist Party a few days later, I found that the stapler was no longer easy to use. The staples would not go completely through the papers. I then remembered that a fellow practitioner had previously told me that putting some oil on the staples could improve efficiency. I tried it and the problem was solved. I realized that Master used this method to inspire me to work hard and not to slack off or become depressed. [Translator note: the word “add oil” in Chinese has a meaning of “come on,” “let’s go,” and “making an all-out effort.”]
Then, a practitioner from another village who was suffering from illness karma came to my home several times to talk to me. She talked about how uncomfortable she felt, how difficult it was to move her legs, how it was making her unable to study the Fa, and how she was afraid of this and that. I shared with her and asked her to let go of her fear. I said to her that the substance of fear is the biggest obstacle that prevents cultivators from achieving consummation.
I suddenly remembered one day that Master said:
“...people tend to seek out those with a similar spiritual state as theirs.” (“A Strong and Urgent Warning”)
I wondered, why did that practitioner seek me out? There must be an attachment that I should get rid of. I then realized it, “Aren’t I also hindered by fear? When I am working on Dafa projects, there are not only technical obstacles, but also conflicts among fellow practitioners. When there is more stress, I just want to stop working on them. But as soon as I say the word ‘not do it,’ the illusions of illness karma would appear in me. So I don’t dare to say it because I’m afraid of the illness karma.”
I thanked Master for enlightening me. My life and everything were given by Master. As such, what attachment could I still not let go? Doesn’t having fear mean that I can’t let go of life and death? This is a critical barrier for a cultivator and must be overcome. Master has paved the way for every true disciple to return to heaven, but I still can’t let go of things because of fear. It is truly a big issue. At a low level, it manifests as being self-centered, and at a higher level, it implies that I do not believe in Master and the Fa. This conflict arose because Master was using fellow practitioners’ words to warn me.
I was able to let go. I no longer held on to other practitioners’ attachments, and I no longer felt unbalanced because a fellow practitioner didn’t let me do a certain project. I no longer complained about a fellow practitioner’s lack of cooperation. I let go of myself and my attachments.
During the past six months, with the guidance of Dafa principles and Master’s compassion, all the knots in my heart have been resolved. I will work diligently and do the three things well with fellow practitioners, and not let Master down.
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Category: Improving Oneself
