(Minghui.org) I am 60 years old this year and have believed in the existence of Gods and Buddhas since my childhood. For example, I used to wonder how the book Journey to the West was written if the events were not real. I began toying with the notion of becoming a nun in my twenties. This desire was reinforced after I started my own business.
1. Lost
My mother gave birth to me when she was nearly 50 years old. My father died when I was still young, and most of my older siblings lived and worked in other cities. I placed high demands on myself with my schooling, work, and doing business. I tried to outdo others, and this led to a tiring existence. My life became harder after I started my own business, because I had to compete with others in the same industry by treating managers of various government departments to frequent meals and drinks, and purchasing gifts for them during the holidays.
Despite my inherent disgust toward these practices, failure to adhere to them would bring trouble to my business. Fortunately, my fledgling business soon stabilized, and I found success in my chosen area. I eventually even managed to purchase my own shop. I felt like I had received aid from someone above and so I wanted to do something kind to repay society. I started donating funds to support students from low income families. When I later asked the organization for the students’ names, the staff declined my request. I suspected their motives were wrong, so I stopped supporting their cause. Social problems like these further spurred my desire to become a nun.
I had previously told close friends that to affirm my existence, I would work hard and succeed in my business before leaving home to cultivate as a nun. I believed in the six paths of reincarnation and rejected the idea of reincarnating into this world again. I was determined to cultivate to Buddhahood, and not even the possibility of becoming the president of a country could tempt me from deviating from this path. I dabbled in some qigong practices and saw some otherworldly things with my third eye. I later learned Buddhism and went for short stays in Buddhist temples. I observed monks who were not serious about cultivation, and this caused me distress and confusion.
2. Learning Dafa
In February 2003, I became a true Falun Dafa practitioner. Why did it take me so long, despite having read the entire contents of Zhuan Falun in 1996? The day that I finished reading the last chapter of Zhuan Falun, my classmates treated me to a meal and invited me to drink alcohol. When I declined, they laughed, “How can a person conduct business without drinking?” I later really gave up cultivating Dafa because I could not avoid drinking alcohol.
In July 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began persecuting Dafa and its practitioners. Whenever I heard someone slandering Falun Gong, I would immediately refute their false claims. In 2002, my desire to practice cultivation became so strong that I set up a Buddhist altar at home and kowtowed to it 108 times a day after returning from work. This went on until one day when I was home trying to recover from a bad cold and my illiterate mother-in-law brought me a copy of Minghui Weekly. As soon as I started reading it, my cold symptoms vanished. When I put the magazine down, my symptoms came back. Shocked, I picked up the copy of Minghui Weekly and my symptoms vanished again. One thought went through my mind, “I must learn Falun Gong.”
I still practiced the ritual of kowtowing each day. While I was kowtowing one day, some ideas arose in my mind. “First, I can still do business without drinking alcohol. Second, I just need to be a good and considerate person. There is no need to kowtow every day.” I stopped doing the kowtowing ritual.
Although I had obtained a copy of Zhuan Falun years earlier, I had read it very infrequently. In February 2003, during the third or fourth day of the Chinese New Year holidays, I made a quick trip to the company office, intending to check for safety issues. But after arriving at my office, I went straight to the bookcase, picked up the copy of Zhuan Falun and went home. At that time, even I felt somewhat confused. I originally had no intention of touching the book, yet why did I pick it up and then come straight out? I spent the holiday season re-reading Zhuan Falun, managing to understand its contents clearly this time. When I realized this precious book held the cultivation way that I had been searching for all this time, my emotions were indescribable.
When close friends later asked me about my plans to become a nun, I told them, “I don’t want to become a nun anymore. I have obtained the true way in Falun Gong and can practice without becoming a nun. I just need to follow my Master’s requirements, achieve the standards specified by the Fa, and become a good person.” My friends have good understandings and impressions of Dafa. When others denounce Dafa, they speak up to defend Dafa, persuading ordinary people to keep their truth-clarification leaflets instead of throwing them away. As a result, my friends have all received blessings in terms of their health and careers.
Cultivating Falun Dafa became my life’s priority, and I started to hold myself to the standards of Dafa. I gave up selling harmful products, no matter how much profit I could potentially earn. My company has been around for years, and I possess a large inventory. Although ordinary people normally do not pay the requisite tax, I gradually repaid my taxes on these goods. My actions earned the admiration of staff working at the tax bureau. I used to feel anger and injustice about such issues, but now the same problems feel insignificant.
I faced a serious test when it came to drinking alcohol. I once invited a government department out for a meal. A man tried to persuade me to drink. When I declined, he knelt down on one knee and continued to try to persuade me. I silently begged, “Master, help me, I can’t drink alcohol,” before politely declining his invitation. This incident triggered admiration among my customers for my determination to stay true to my words.
I strive to study three lectures every day. I face less business troubles with more time spent studying the Fa. Conversely, when I study less, troubles seem to crop up endlessly. I used to envy fellow practitioners who could sit in the full lotus position. A fellow practitioner advised me that studying the Fa more would allow me to achieve this sitting position. I started to spend a few days in a quiet place by myself to study the Fa. At first, my knees hovered high in the air even while I was in the half lotus position, but I was soon able to sit in the full lotus position for an hour before the pain kicked in.
I try to clarify the truth about the persecution of Dafa whenever I talk to people. I was sitting with the director of a local TV station at a wedding banquet and managed to convince her to quit the CCP. I sent copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party to directors and supervisors at the national tax bureau. During the Chinese New Year, I deliver Falun Dafa truth clarification calendars along with my festive gifts to various government departments, in the hope that this will save more people.
3. Gratitude
I have always felt Master’s guidance and have experienced miracles throughout my years of my cultivation. Whenever I fail to wake up early and practice the exercises, I start dreaming about pig heads, lazy insects, or other scenes that will force me to wake up and start exercising. I once asked my husband to install a clothes hook behind our door. The hook appeared on the door within days, yet my husband assured me he had not found the time to buy or install it.
My daughter has a pair of trousers with an intricately beaded belt. Once while washing this pair of trousers, I found many loose beads scattered at the bottom of the washing machine. Despite picking up more than a dozen of these beads, her belt remained in good condition. I could find no loose threads or gaps in the original pattern. When I showed my daughter the loose beads and belt, she was amazed and finally voiced her belief in the power of Dafa.
On another occasion, my daughter and I were chatting at 10 p.m. when I made a joke about my husband. The glass surface of our coffee table suddenly began to ring loudly, as though something heavy had hit its surface. When my daughter got up to look for the source, I told her, “Stop looking, I know what’s going on. I shouldn’t have laughed at your father. This warning is intended for me.”
While clarifying the truth sometimes, I had words spoken directly to the point that it had troubled the listener, convincing them to understand the truth behind the persecution quickly. Over the years, I have experienced prolonged illness karma and was even followed continuously by the police for over two months. At one point, my strong human attachments resulted in my arrest and detention. At every stage of life, I can feel Master watching over me and protecting me each step of the way.
I have been clarifying the truth face to face each day for more than 10 years. Over time, I learned how to speak to just one person and later to an audience of many. I have gone from having a fast and nervous pace to a slow and calm method of speaking. I am now able to convince most people, regardless of their age, to listen as I clarify the truth. For those who remain deeply misled by the CCP’s propaganda, I try to let them feel the kindness of Dafa practitioners, in the hope that they can know the truth when they meet other practitioners in the future.
I wish to thank Master for protecting me over the years. I still have many human attachments that have not been eliminated, such as my attachment to comfort, showing off, jealousy, and self-interest. But I am determined to take these problems seriously, cultivate well, maintain my righteous thoughts, and do the three things well.
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Category: Improving Oneself
