(Minghui.org) I started practicing Falun Dafa in 2009 and am now 67 years old. During my 15 years of cultivation, showing-off and self-righteousness have been my strongest attachments. Today, I would like to share some of the interactions that helped me find my show-off mentality and get rid of it.
Over the years, other practitioners and I would usually go out together to clarify the truth. As I got more familiar with other practitioners, I started to show off. For example, I told them that my mother was a graduate of a famous middle school and that my father was once a clerk under a famous general and had supervised the construction of a certain river project.
If someone asked me about my son, I would tell them proudly that he had a post-graduate degree and was an engineer. I would even show off the clothes and shoes my son had bought for me from a special store. I wanted people to know that I had a capable and good son, and I thought that they would not know if I did not tell them.
My son once told me, “Mom, some people’s children came to this life to collect debts and others to repay kindness. Mom, I came to repay your kindness.” That made me happy, and I would keep telling other practitioners about it to show off.
Sometimes, after I did something to validate the Fa, although I didn’t show it off to other practitioners, I would feel complacent. I would think that I had cultivated better than others because I had gone out every day to talk to people. I would look down on the practitioners who only read the Fa and did the exercises and didn’t go out to talk to people face-to-face. I would consider them inferior for not trying to fulfill their vows, and I would often speak to them in an unpleasant tone.
I once said to an elderly practitioner who did not clarify the truth to people in public, “You must fulfill your vows. Otherwise, your body and soul will become extinct in the end!” She did not accept my comment and said, “How do I talk to people? I am afraid to tell them the truth about Falun Gong. Why do I have to cultivate that way? I go as far as I can in cultivation. Besides, I have talked to many people about Falun Gong anyway.” I told her, “When I talk to people face-to-face, please send righteous thoughts to help me.”
However, when I looked back after I’d talked to someone, I saw that this particular practitioner with whom we went out together was way behind me and she even turned her head away, as if ignoring my request. Disturbed, I confronted her, “I asked you to send righteous thoughts to help. Why did you stay so far away from me?”
I knew afterwards that I was wrong: I had spoken to her when I was disturbed and did not communicate with her based on the Fa. Although I wanted to point out her attachment, my comment did not really help her, instead it upset her. Master taught us:
“While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could!” (“Clearheadedness,” Essentials for Further Advancement)
I realized that I did not have a compassionate mindset when I spoke to her. How could I help her to recognize her attachment like that?
Later, when I read Master’s teaching,
“Because of practicing cultivation among everyday people, a lot of our practitioners cannot release many of their attachments. Many attachments have already become second nature, and these people themselves cannot detect them. This mentality of showing off can manifest in any situation; it can also surface when doing a good deed.” (Lecture Six, Zhuan Falun)
I found that I also had a strong attachment to showing off.
From now on, I will read the Fa and look inside for my shortcomings more diligently. I will discard the attachment of showing off and improve myself as quickly as possible.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation!
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Category: Improving Oneself
