(Minghui.org) I chose the title because I had written another article in the past that dealt with eliminating jealousy. I now see the display of jealousy in me again, and so I’m writing this to expose it.
Every morning before I get up to practice the exercises, I rinse my mouth and drink some water, and I stand by a window with my cup and look at the dark buildings in the distance where lights can be seen occasionally. A few days ago, as I looked out the window, a thought entered my mind... Other people are still enjoying their sleep, but I am already up to practice. Following this thought came another one, “I am comparing myself with sentient beings. That represents jealousy!”
I recalled an experience when I had just started practicing cultivation. I was living in a large building, and many times when I saw that others brought out their basins to wash themselves only at around 9 a.m. By this time I had already finished practicing the exercises, studied the Fa, washed myself, made my breakfast, and had even sometimes done some laundry. I thought that my life had been extended a lot when compared with others, and I often felt proud.
I recalled watching Master’s exercise video one time. When it came to the exercise “Reinforcing Supernatural Powers,” I felt a surge of energy that was guiding my arms from the forearms to the upper arms with a certain amount of force, so that I often thought that my exercise movements were not accurate. Whenever I was not satisfied with what I was doing, I immediately had the same thought, “There are still many other practitioners whose exercise movements are worse than mine. I used to teach new practitioners the movements at the practice site during the earlier times.” With this thought, a sense of relief would come to me.
I recalled another matter that happened 30 years ago. At a morning market, an old couple was selling ground beef stuffed pies (Chinese style) that had a thin crust and wonderful fillings, which was very delicious, and I often bought it for breakfast. Seeing that their cart always had a few braids of garlic, I wondered if the garlic was used to spice up the fillings. I had a thought to ask the elder woman how she made the fillings, but I never did, thinking that she might not be willing to share her secrets, and if I asked her and she didn’t want to share with me, wouldn’t it be making myself look bad? I initially thought that I was considering others by not asking her the question, but then I found the reason for not asking was actually because I did not like to share my good things with others, as it would benefit others.
This is what I looked like to me. Comparing myself with others, feeling relieved and balanced only when others did not do as good as I did. Otherwise, I would be troubled and try harder to surpass others. It would often manifest among our cultivators. When one has jealousy, one could not bear to see others doing better. If one has jealousy, how can one “ be happy for others” when others are better? I understand now that whether one can truly “feel happy for others” is the most intuitive ruler to measure if one has jealousy.
I felt ashamed as I recalled my past behaviors and looked at the various manifestations of jealousy in myself. I know that when I was able to see it clearly, I had actually started to get rid of it, layer by layer. When we do not acknowledge these substances, Master will help us eliminate as much as we don’t want, as everything is being done by Master. Thank you Master!
Only by studying the Fa more, assimilating into the Fa, gradually walking out of the state of being human, and cultivating myself to be a life who lives for others, will I live up to Master’s high expectation for his disciples:
“I hope that after going home everyone will make the best use of his or her time for genuine cultivation.” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
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Category: Improving Oneself
