(Minghui.org) I began to practice Falun Dafa in 1998. Even though fulfilling my prehistoric vows has been an arduous journey, taking up cultivation was the best choice I made in my life. Being able to become Master Li’s disciple was the greatest grace that Master has given me.
In the past 26 years, I have transitioned from personal cultivation to Fa-rectification cultivation. As someone who grew up under the influence of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP), I didn’t understand what cultivation was at the beginning and didn’t understand that studying the Fa well is the foundation of doing everything well. I have stumbled and gotten up countless times.
Eliminating the Competitive Mentality and Harmonizing the One-Body
Many of our human attachments are deliberately developed by the old forces and forced on us. Looking back on how I grew up, I can clearly see this. But this process by the old forces conforms to the conditions of ordinary society; it is subtle and gradual. Therefore it requires solid cultivation to realize these human attachments.
My competitive mentality had become so natural that I was unaware of it. It often led to negative consequences without me even realizing it, and the old forces took advantage of me and alienated me from the One Body.
Once a fellow practitioner told me, “Everyone is saying negative things about you. You should look inside to see if there is something wrong.” The reaction in my mind was, “It shouldn’t be like this. Firstly, I don’t have much contact with anyone. Secondly, my cultivation is pretty good. You want me to look inside but what do you want me to look for? Even ordinary people have a saying that one shouldn’t talk behind people’s backs. All of you that are talking behind my back, is your state that of a cultivator?”
After a while, another practitioner told me, “Fellow practitioners all have negative opinions about you, but I know you have the Fa in your heart.” My reaction in my mind this time was, “What I said and did have touched some of your human notions and caused you to be upset. We both have things to improve upon in our cultivation.”
The next two incidents helped me see my attachment and the reason everyone had a negative opinion of me. I also understood that none of this was accidental. It was caused by my karma, and the tribulation was arranged for me to improve my xinxing and eliminate my attachment.
The first incident occurred when practitioner Hui and I had a different opinion about something, so she criticized me with angry words. We each had our own reasons and both thought we were right.
One day, I saw that my home was infested with a type of white bug. I even found them in the incense box. I knew this was Master’s hint. I was quite shocked and a bit scared at the same time. I realized how serious the problem was. I was certain that there must be something wrong with my cultivation. It forced me to look inside unconditionally, but I couldn’t find anything. I still felt there wasn’t anything wrong with sharing with Hui. But since Master had hinted that I was wrong, I thought that I wouldn’t say any more. So no matter what she said after that, I just replied with “thank you.”
To my surprise, after doing this, her attitude changed and her tone softened. The bugs in my home also disappeared. I knew I had done something right, even though I only knew it on the surface, and didn’t have a clear understanding based on Fa principles.
Then the second incident happened. A fellow practitioner posted a “notice” in our internal mailbox. I felt that there was CCP indoctrination in the writing, so I posted my understanding. That fellow practitioner accepted what I said. But he posted a “sharing” and did not delete the “notice.”
I thought that everyone had their own understanding, and I should not insist on my understanding. So I deleted my post. The next day I found that the other practitioner had deleted both his “sharing” and the “notice.” At that moment, I understood that the reason fellow practitioners had an unpleasant opinion about me was my competitive mentality. Every time I shared with fellow practitioners, whenever there were different understandings, I would argue, insist on my own understanding, and even quote Master’s teachings to prove that I was right.
I realized that repeatedly emphasizing my understanding was an attempt to validate myself; wanting to convince others and change others. It was the “unifying ideology” type of thinking that came from the CCP indoctrination, and it is also the way the Old Forces do things. All of this was driven by my competitive mentality. The more I argued, the stronger my competitive mentality became. These dark substances would fall into fellow practitioners’ dimensions and cause them to feel uncomfortable.
The correct approach would be as Master said in “Don’t Argue” in Hong Yin III,
“Don’t argue when people argue with youCultivation is looking within for the causeWanting to explain just feeds the attachmentBreadth of mind, unattached, brings true insight”
Why hadn’t I realized that my competitive mentality wasn’t normal? Why did I let it stay in my mind for so many years? It was caused by the CCP indoctrinated thinking of “the more you argue, the clearer it becomes.” When fellow practitioners talked about me, it was in fact Master’s arrangement to get rid of my competitive mentality, but I used human reasoning to interpret it and pushed away the opportunities to improve again and again.
Master saw that I did not enlighten to the issue, and I did not know how to cultivate, so he arranged the two incidents mentioned above. The first incident taught me not to argue when encountering problems, so that the old forces could not take advantage of it and also helped me calm my mind, laying the foundation for looking inside. The second incident helped me learn to look inside.
Thank you Master for your compassion and arrangements. Through these, I have gained a deeper understanding of unconditionally looking inside.
Letting Go of Self-Interest and Saving Others with Compassion
The beings from the old universe are selfish, and the CCP has amplified this selfishness. The CCP has destroyed traditional Chinese culture and values, and as a result, most Chinese people no longer believe in the principle that good and evil actions will receive retribution, and they will do whatever it takes to satisfy their personal desires. As Dafa cultivators, we were also beings of the old universe, and our nature was based on self-interest. In order to assist Master in Fa-rectification, save sentient beings, and go home with Master, we must cultivate to eliminate selfishness.
The attachment to self-interest is a manifestation of selfishness. I have always paid attention to eliminating this attachment and felt that I did not have strong self-interest. However, Master’s arrangement allowed me to realize that the “less” self-interest I felt was only within a certain level. Once beyond this level, my attachment to self-interest was still very strong.
My younger brother’s child was going to open a store and needed a relatively large amount of money. Even though it was funded by several relatives, it was still not enough. So my brother came to me to borrow money. I had already been fired from my job due to the persecution and my pension had not been given to me. So I didn’t have any source of income. The only money I had at hand was from selling my house, which was the only money I had to pay for my everyday living expenses. The more I used it, the less it would become.
What should I do? When people encounter difficulties and come to me, I should try my best to help. More importantly, my brother had not understood the truth. When I told him that the CCP uses lies to deceive people, he said I was jealous. When I told him about the CCP harvesting organs from living Dafa practitioners, he said they were individual cases. He got furious almost every time I clarified the truth to him. In short, he was still controlled by the CCP.
We reincarnated into the same family and had a close predestined relationship. I understood that it was definitely my responsibility to save him. But it was so difficult! I often said to Master in my heart, “Master, can I really save such a person?” I knew it is really Master who saves people, but we need to have enough compassion to dismantle the evil factors behind the people.
When he came to borrow money, I thought it was an opportunity arranged by Master for him to be saved. I didn’t hesitate at all. I only kept a small fraction of the money to use for my living expenses, and lent him the rest.
More than two years have passed, and he has not mentioned paying back the money, nor have I asked him about it.
Before the New Year in 2023, he told my sister that he didn’t want to see me because we argued whenever we met. I knew this wasn’t true and just an excuse. I never argued with him, and always stayed calm because I wanted to clarify the truth to him. Since I was mentally prepared, when my sister told me this, I was still relatively calm.
Then, my sister said that those who participated in the investment received dividends at the end of the year. When I heard this, I became angry and couldn’t stay calm anymore. I said to her, “I’m okay for him to not pay me back yet. Taking one more step back, even if he pays out dividends but doesn’t pay me back any money, I can still live with it, because after all, they have been operating for a long time, and should let investors see some profits. However, he should at least tell me about it. This is the most basic courtesy he should show me. Instead, not only does he remain silent, but he also lied when he said that he didn’t want to see me because we argued.”
As I talked, I felt something was wrong, and I gradually calmed down. I thought to myself, “I am a Dafa practitioner. Isn’t it due to jealousy that I’m feeling unbalanced? Was it because others received dividends? I’m angry because he didn’t tell me about it, isn’t that because I have an attachment of wanting to be respected? As I’m demanding the basic courtesy from him, isn’t that using human reasoning? I’m feeling angry and mad, isn’t that due to my competitive mentality? But all of this comes from the desire to protect my own interests. If I have these attachments, then I won’t be able to have compassion. Without enough compassion, I won’t be able to eliminate the evil factors. This may be the main reason why my brother doesn’t listen to the truth. If I don’t handle this matter well, then he may never know the truth.”
I politely refused my sister’s offer to ask for the money back for me and decided to let it go. At that moment, I felt really at ease. It was the kind of ease after one is purified in cultivation.
I said to myself, “What’s there that I can’t let go of? Maybe I owed him money in a past life and am just paying the debt. Maybe it’s helping me transform my karma. These are all good things, and I should be thankful to him.”
As Dafa practitioners we are shouldering the great mission of assisting Master in Fa-rectification and saving sentient beings. We should have the realm of being able to sacrifice everything for sentient beings. On the other hand, I was just giving up some money and felt bad about it. I was still so far away from Master’s requirements.
After I let go of my attachment, my brother also changed. When I told him the truth about Dafa again, he listened and said, “I believe everything you tell me.” I have also read Master’s two articles “How Humankind Came to Be” and “Why Save Sentient Beings” to him.
Master’s ingenious arrangements saved him, and in the process I also cultivated compassion. Thank you Master!
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Category: Improving Oneself
