(Minghui.org) I recently read the article “My Firm Belief That Cultivation Is the Only Way to Overcome Tribulations” and was touched by the practitioner’s openness. I would like to share some of my understandings about cultivation.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1997. At that time, I was young and had a decent job. My friend knew I was interested in spiritual pursuits and gave me a copy of Zhuan Falun to read. I flipped through it and put the book away. About a year later, I went to a park and did the exercises with other practitioners for the first time. When I returned home, I had a better understanding of what cultivation practice is and decided to join a study group close to my home.
In the beginning, we would read a paragraph of Zhuan Falun and then discuss our understanding of the topic or our questions. We took turns talking and there was almost no stopping. Several days later, I had a dream in which everyone called Master Li (the founder of Falun Dafa) “Teacher.” When I woke up, I realized I should use the word “Master” instead of “Teacher” since cultivation is so sacred.
When Master published articles telling us how to study his teachings, I followed them and tried to do better. My understanding was that, no matter how practitioners shared understandings during group study, I still needed to study on my own. I learned much more at home than I did at the group study.
I studied very quickly at the time, and the results were relatively good. I also paid attention to lectures in which Master told us how to study the teachings. That was how, I noticed the many attachments I had, such as showing off, superiority, and jealousy. But I did not know how to eliminate them. Nonetheless, I had no doubt I would succeed over time. As a result, I kept studying both Zhuan Falun and Master Li’s new lectures. Looking back, I did make progress in improving myself, but it was very slow.
Ups and Downs
Later on, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began to suppress Falun Dafa. I was sent to a forced labor camp because of my belief. I also failed an illness karma test and went to the hospital. Even now, I still have a problem with my left lung. If I don’t do the three things well, I feel discomfort—relatively severe—all the time. I have put in a great deal of effort these years, but my progress has been limited. It could be that I have cultivated poorly, have not recognized my attachments, and have accumulated tribulations. Another possibility is that everyone’s cultivation path is different. Recently, I noticed that the physical discomfort was related to my attachments. Sometimes when attachments surfaced, I clearly felt physical pain.
I once had a fever of over 39°C (102.2°F) for more than a year, and I ended up in the hospital. Doctors could not find the cause and suggested I have home care. But later on, the fever miraculously went away. I had a feeling that this was something I had to endure. I was in tears. For the first time, I could see a clear connection between my cultivation state and my physical condition.
My cultivation journey has been bumpy over the years, but I never questioned Dafa. When I read the Minghui articles while suffering from various pains, I saw how well other practitioners had done, and I occasionally felt unworthy of being saved by Master. Looking back, I realize I had complaints and resentment to some degree. I recognize it now and am able to work on removing such things.
After I was sentenced to prison in 2018, I was forced against my will to renounce my belief. Upon returning home, my regret and low self-esteem were beyond words. I also felt that Master had been taking care of me and encouraging me. But when I went back to reading the Dafa books, I could barely read a few pages over the course of an entire day. That had never happened before. I blamed myself and was in despair. However, I continued studying the teachings. Because I did not absorb the meaning when I read silently, I read out loud.
I still read slowly, about 20 pages an hour. Very often, I was confused, but I tried my best to understand the words anyway. At least I knew what I was reading and did not think about other things.
Importance of Studying the Dafa Teachings
To my surprise, I sensed a lot of changes during this time. For example, something happened in my family recently that would usually stress me out. But this time, I quickly calmed down because I followed the Dafa teachings. “Other people are thinking about themselves; only you are totally selfless,” a relative said to me. I thanked her for the encouragement. In my mind, I knew how poorly I had done compared to the requirements of Dafa, although my actions looked good to an everyday person.
I kept suppressing negative thoughts and rectifying myself with the Dafa teachings. A relative once asked me if I considered myself to be a good person. Seeing I was confused, she asked me to rate myself as good, somewhat good, somewhat bad, or bad. I told her that I seldom compared myself to others but that I always tried to follow the principles of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance. I also acknowledged that there are areas where others do well and that I needed to see where I could improve.
I visit the Minghui website almost every day. In the past, I felt fortunate that the articles by fellow practitioners helped me to enlighten to certain understandings or remind me of some aspect of the Fa. I now realize that all these are also Master Li’s arrangements. Because of Master’s help, fellow practitioners have the wisdom and ability to write articles so that we can exchange ideas in that way.
From the teachings, we know a practitioner’s attachments are constantly being exposed so they can be eliminated. Master protects and separates the parts we cultivate well, while the uncultivated parts are left. That is, if we look at other practitioners with human notions, we could become increasingly frustrated—since we tend to ignore the parts they cultivated well and forget that this is an opportunity for us to look within.
I think that studying the Dafa teachings is the most important thing we need to do. Only then can we compare ourselves to the requirement of Dafa, look at people and incidents around us in the right way, and appreciate the wonderfulness of cultivation instead of being affected by human notions, everyday behaviors, and sentimentality (both internal and external).
The process of eliminating attachments can indeed be painful. But isn’t this a good thing since we can improve ourselves during the process? Master has told us this many times. We all know that we are not cultivating if we grab human notions with one hand while holding onto the thoughts of cultivation practice with the other hand. Without a good understanding of the teachings, everything is just wishful thinking. Therefore, I do hope practitioners study the Fa well, with their whole hearts, although it means overcoming difficulties.
Master said,
“The Fa can break all attachments; the Fa can destroy all evil; the Fa can shatter all lies; and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts.” (“Drive Out Interference,” The Essentials of Diligent Progress II)
I remember these words, although I very often don’t do well.
In my understanding, Master has included everything in Zhuan Falun, from our cultivation practice to negating the old forces’ arrangements to eliminating attachments and assimilating ourselves to Dafa. It is essential to study Zhuan Falun well and to study Master’s other lectures from time to time.
These are my current understandings. Please point out anything inconsistent with the Dafa teachings.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
