(Minghui.org) I used to be very careful interacting with people, as I was always afraid of offending someone or making someone unhappy. I tended to overthink everything, down to the last detail, which often kept me from taking action. I internalized everything that went wrong and easily fell into the vicious cycle of self-blame. I led a tiring life.
After my daughter was born in 2016, I suffered from postpartum depression. I verbally attacked and hurt anyone who came close. I slipped further and further down the black hole of depression, and felt lonely and helpless. Just then, a lucky twist of fate introduced me to Dafa cultivation, changing my life. I became more gentle and friendly to others, and a happier person in general. I was able to take the ups and downs in life with a calm heart, and in a dignified way.
With the guidance of Dafa’s principles, I overcame a huge tribulation posed by my co-workers, and turned my work environment around for the better. I genuinely cared about my students’ well being, helped them in their personal lives, and shared with them the goodness of Dafa.
Dealing with Jealousy
After graduating with a PhD degree from a prestigious university in China, I took a teaching position at a mid-tier middle school. The school was relatively small at the time and lacked key resources. The students’ standardized testing scores were low compared to the average in the area, and the school’s reputation suffered. I was the first teacher holding a doctorate degree that the school hired, hoping to change all of this. My signing on was big news and was reported by the local television station. I didn’t like being in the spotlight however, and felt uncomfortable with my new-found fame. Furthermore, it attracted unwanted attention and even jealousy from my co-workers and some school administrators.
Besides teaching biology, I also took on the role of lab technician. My main responsibility was to get supplies and equipment ready for biology labs for students of all grades.
I reported to Wang, our department head. Although very young, Wang had been teaching at the school for ten years. She was hard working and competitive. Since the day I arrived, she brought tribulations to me. She first added extra lab experiments to the curricula of all grades. Students who had moved up in grades were required to make up the newly-added experiments. This created more work for me. She was very strict with the lab preparations, to the point of being nitpicky. To get these labs ready and up to Wang’s standards, I arrived early and left late every day, and even worked weekends at times.
When I became pregnant, I thought Wang would reduce my workload. Instead of cutting some of the labs, she added a few more. Up until right before my maternity leave, I hand washed the trays and tubs, cut up pigs’ hearts, and prepared chemicals for the labs. One time, pretty far into my pregnancy, I was on my feet and worked an entire day without a break. I had a shooting pain in my uterus and couldn’t stand straight. Even then, Wang showed no intention of relieving me from the intense workload.
Wang and I taught the same grade. When I asked her for help with a lesson or the curriculum, she told me she didn’t know anything about that particular subject matter. Sometimes she rolled her eyes, and said in a condescending way, “Aren’t you a PhD?” She prepared the tests for all classes in our grade, excluding me from the process but leaking them to her students. Each time, her students scored much higher than mine. I was reprimanded multiple times by the school administrators because of this.
For some misunderstandings, Wang scolded me like a child in front of other teachers in the department. I burst into tears and couldn’t say a word. This escalated into what seemed like everyone, including my assistant principal, HR, and even some ordinary staff members, scolding me without reservation. They made sarcastic remarks, and insulted and even threatened me. I was skipped many times for raises and promotions. Never before had I felt this rejected and frustrated.
Holding Myself to High Standards and Maintaining My Xinxing
A co-worker that I was close with told me, “You’re such a pushover. What are you scared of? You have a doctor’s degree. The principal has high hopes and is counting on you. Stand up for yourself.” Another co-worker told me, “You always let her have her way. If it were me, I would have been fed up and started arguing with her long ago.” Their sympathetic discussion and support made me fell a little better—at least they recognized the ordeal I was going through.
However, I am a cultivator, and should hold myself to higher standards. In ancient times, when an apprentice took a master of a certain craft, they’d first put in several years of hard labor before being taught any real skills. Being the lab technician and enduring all the hard work was just like being an apprentice. When I prepared for each lab, Wang provided the requirements and procedures, just like the masters teaching and imparting their skills and experiences. If ordinary people back in the day could endure such hardship, then as a cultivator, I should be able to handle it even better. Gradually, my resentment toward Wang disappeared.
Wang started letting me participate in the test making process. After we finalized a test one time, I printed copies for the next day. Wang called me first thing in the morning and said that she found a typo in the test. She asked me to make the edit and print them again. It was the day of the test, so I hurried to get everything done.
When a co-worker learned about this, she shook her head, “Why would Wang do such a thing? This is only a mock test, it’s not like its the finals. Why would she make you do all that just for a typo? She just wants to give you a hard time.” It is hard to avoid typos and minor errors when preparing a test. Usually, we let the students know after passing out the tests, so each student can make the correction on their own test before starting. I didn’t understand it either but wanted to give Wang the benefit of the doubt. I told my co-worker, “Wang takes her job very seriously. She did the right thing. I should learn from her.” My co-worker was surprised to hear this from me.
If Wang asked to see my lesson plans as a reference, I never thought twice before giving it to her. But when I asked to see hers, she sometimes refused. It didn’t feel good to be turned down so directly, but I told myself that she had the right to say no. She also requested to be included in developing my academic papers a few times. Although I didn’t feel right about it, and felt taken advantage of, as she didn’t contribute to the project, I still added her name. Even then, she shouted at me because I didn’t include her as co-author right off the bat. Of the principles Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, putting “Forbearance” into practice was the most challenging.
Wang complained about me to the assistant principal, even when it was merely a misunderstanding. The assistant principal formed misconceptions about me and often scolded me. I wanted to explain myself and tell him about how Wang mistreated me but I held back. Instead, I said, “Ms. Wang takes her job very seriously. I will learn from her. I will make sure to pay extra attention to the things you mentioned.”
The assistant principal scolded me like a child at an all hands meeting one time. I was on the stage, in front of the entire staff with all eyes on me, My cheeks were burning and every second felt like an eternity. After the meeting, however, I reminded myself not to resent anyone, but to forget about it instead.
My Co-workers Changed
There seemed to be a thick layer of a certain substance that separated Wang, the assistant principal, and myself that just seemed impossible to break through. I endured whatever ordeals they put me through, without a clue when the end of it would be. I kept reminding myself to forget about how others mistreated me, and remember even the tiniest positiveness and kindness.
As Master asks of us, I looked inward to examine myself whenever conflicts arose. Deep down, I still harbored resentment and felt wronged. I worked even harder to get rid of my attachments. Regardless of how others treated me, I needed to be kind to them.
I prepared a lab for Wang that required a variety of vegetables. Without telling me, she changed the day of the lab. All the vegetables I bought went to waste so I bought them again. Wang changed the time again at the last minute and I had to buy the vegetables and set up the lab again. When Wang’s classes used the lab, some students damaged the samples so I had to get the vegetables and prepare the slices again. I prepared the lab several times but never complained. Wang told me at the end, “It was a lot of work for you. Yet you did such a great job without complaining.”
When a very important project came up, I let Wang be the lead and put in a lot of work to help her get it up and running. I no longer felt wronged. Seeing how I selflessly sacrificed for the project, Wang lowered her guard. She sincerely apologized to me one day and said she hoped I would forgive her for what she had done. The next time I asked to borrow her lesson plans, she waved her hand and said, “Don’t need to ask me anymore. You can use them anytime.” What truly surprised me was that she even prepared the lab for me one time. She got emotional during the ceremony for mentorship and gave me a big hug. Now she’s very friendly with me and even calls me by my nickname at times.
The assistant principal and some other co-workers’ attitudes toward me also changed. A co-worker commented to others about me and said I was the most clear-headed and wise person in the entire school.
I’m grateful that Wang, my assistant principal, and the other co-workers helped me improve my xinxing.
Kindness Changed My Students
When I was first brought on, the school had many problem students. Some kids were disrespectful, some didn’t study, some cursed and swore, and some were full of anger and didn’t communicate with anyone. The teachers, for the most part, managed the classrooms by being sarcastic and shouting at the kids. I have a small voice and am gentle by nature—I couldn’t shout at anyone or be derisive if I tried. I experimented and searched for a way to better interact with my students. I found in the end that the best way was to hold myself to the standards of a Dafa cultivator.
Master said:
“While working, your tone of voice, your kindheartedness, and your reasoning can change a person’s heart, whereas commands never could!” (“Clearheadedness,” Essentials For Further Advancement)
I treated my students with kindness and was truly considerate of them. I never used hurtful language or harsh tones when talking to them. I respected each of them as an individual and helped them understand how to be a good person. They slowly turned around. Among them, Shuang’s case was the most heartening.
The first time I called on Shuang to answer a question in class, she stood up slowly and didn’t say a word. After I sternly reminded her to speak, she cried. I saw a lot of hatred in the way she looked at me. After class, I went to her and tried to inspire her to take an interest in biology. She spat out a few words, “Even if I could, I wouldn’t waste my time on biology.” It was shocking to me how angry she was. I didn’t know what she could have been through to make her so bitter.
I learned later that Shuang wasn’t doing well academically. She didn’t have any friends and was often bullied because she was overweight. Besides drawing, she wasn’t really good at anything else. Due to low self-esteem, she didn’t talk to anyone. I wanted to help Shuang build confidence and reach her full potential.
I started to casually walk by her when the students worked on in-class assignments after each lecture, “Did you understand today’s lesson? Let me know if you have any questions about the assignment.” She still didn’t talk much, but her looks gradually softened.
Nobody wanted to pair up with Shuang during labs. I asked one of my top students, whom I knew had a kind heart, whether she would share a lab bench with Shuang. She readily agreed. Seeing that a popular straight-A student willingly partnered with Shuang, the entire class’ attitudes toward her changed.
I found opportunities to talk to Shuang and encourage her, and slowly earned her trust. She wrote me a letter and opened up about her anxiety and agony. She didn’t think she was good for anything and saw no hope in life. She felt lonely and even thought about ending her life. I immediately replied to the letter and told her, “Life is a long journey and there will be ups and downs. When things go well, don’t be overconfident and when the going gets tough, don’t despair.” I told her that she was an amazing artist and had a kind soul. “Shuang, I like your smile. It is warm and genuine, like a breeze in the spring. Would you please smile more?”
Shuang started coming to school with her once-messy hair all nicely combed and pulled back, showing her clean face. She still didn’t say much when we ran into each other at school, but she smiled at me. Her smiles were beautiful and bright. I was surprised to see her raising her hand when I asked a question in class. I called on her and praised her even though her answer wasn’t quite on point. She told me it was the first time she had ever raised her hand in class. She was so nervous that she was still trembling after sitting down.
Shuang’s parents were called to a special parent teacher conference due to her poor grades. I learned that she had many problems at home. She hated her mother, and cursed and wished her dead. Her father seemed to genuinely care about her, but Shuang would not acknowledge it. I slowly introduced stories of Chinese history and culture to show her how one should respect and love one’s parents.
With the kindness I cultivated in Dafa, I slowly helped Shuang change her outlook on life. Upon graduating from middle school, she wrote me a long letter and told me how much she appreciated my help. She said I was the only person that understood her. As a birthday gift, she gave me a portrait of myself with amazing detail. I was even happier to see that she put a blossoming sunflower in the background—her once cold and dark heart had opened up to the sun and was chasing sunlight like the sunflower.
I’ve helped many students like Shuang since I became a teacher at the middle school. When I walk down the hallway now, many students come up to hug me or put their heads on my shoulder—they treat me like family. Even kids who never took my class before would come during office hours to just sit and chat for a while. Thanks to Dafa—Dafa’s principles changed me and in turn changed my students.
Our School Basking in Buddha Light
Our school was small when I first started, and didn’t have a lot of students. The campus seemed so empty during recess. It has grown rapidly over the past few years and the campus is now always filled with kids. Most of them have taken my classes.
During lectures, I talk to my students about traditional culture and values, ancient civilizations, spiritual belief such as the Buddha Fa, modern science, and the deception of the theory of evolution. I used stories to demonstrate to them that doing good will be rewarded and doing bad will receive retribution. I taught my students how to be upright persons, and the principles of the universe. Those who have taken my classes have learned about Dafa and the wrongful persecution. They know to be respectful and follow the rules of nature. While hosting at the school radio station, I included stories from Minghui Radio programs about divine culture. Every corner of the school basks in the blessings of Dafa.
Looking back, my first day at the school seemed like such a long time ago, as if it took place in a previous life. I can’t imagine how I would have dealt with all the drama and how exhausted I would have been if it weren’t for Dafa’s guidance. Thanks to Dafa and thanks to Master, I’ve truly become a considerate person.
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