(Minghui.org) I experienced unforgettable severe sickness karma last year, and I’d like to tell you how I got through the tribulation.
I was 40 when my husband died of a heart attack at the age of 45. My daughter was only 16 and had just entered high school. I ran a business to support my family, put her through college, and pay her expenses so she could study abroad. After she established a good career in Canada, I moved here more than three years ago.
Tribulations
My daughter enrolled me in a class to learn French in April 2023, two months after I got my immigration status. The class started in early May. I was very happy to meet the teacher and eleven other students from various countries. They hugged me and called me by my name. I couldn’t understand what they said, but from their expressions, I knew I was being welcomed. I gave each of them a small lotus flower. The teacher liked the flower and hung it on her backpack.
However, I felt angry because I couldn’t understand what the teacher said. I was distressed and started having nightmares. I had difficulty sleeping, so I was tired and often fell asleep in class. The teacher was worried about me and used a translator so she could talk to me. She said it would be a waste of time if I slept in class. I was anxious to learn, but I couldn’t stay awake. So, I dropped out of the class but didn’t tell my daughter beforehand.
Then the tribulation started. My daughter and her husband wanted me to attend the class so that the government would give us $1,000 a month. They weren’t happy that I quit and looked down on me. My little granddaughter didn’t like me either. I really felt stressed.
The old forces exploited this opportunity to break me down. I started having symptoms of an illness. I had difficulty urinating, and I saw blood in my urine. I had pain in my lower abdomen. I could not eat and felt weak. I couldn’t concentrate when I studied the Fa. No matter how hard I tried, I often skipped words while studying the Fa online with other practitioners, so I stopped reading with the group. My brain was blank, and I felt that I would rather die than live.
One day, a fellow practitioner asked me why I stopped studying the Fa online. After hearing about my situation, she explained that the old forces were trying to interfere with my practice. I was shocked. I felt Master was using this practitioner to enlighten me.
I asked myself why the old forces had an excuse to persecute me. There must be some omissions in my cultivation. I calmed down and looked inward. I found that I had attachments to resentment, showing-off, comfort, wanting to be happy, and laziness.
Attachment of Resentment
Since I came to Canada, I’ve been an unpaid nanny for my daughter. She never gave me money so I had to use my meager pension of just over 1,000 yuan (US$ 138) a month for my expenses. Two years ago, I went to Toronto for a cultivation experience-sharing conference. I borrowed CA$500 from my daughter. To save face, I lied to the other practitioners and said she gave me the money.
Last year, I traveled with three other practitioners to distribute Shen Yun leaflets in Quebec City. We had to pay for our meals. The next day, after we distributed the flyers, the others wanted to eat dinner before we drove back home. I had no money left, so I told them I wasn’t hungry. While sitting in the car alone, I started feeling resentment for my daughter. I cried and blamed her for not giving me even a penny. When I recalled that I had given her all my money, more than 100,000 yuan, my resentment grew stronger, and I had difficulty calming down.
I regarded Dafa-related projects as cultivation, so I only did light housework. To have more time to distribute Shen Yun flyers, I cleaned the house at night. My son-in-law did not like me doing housework late at night and turned the lights off whenever I started cleaning. My daughter also accused me of being selfish.
Later, through studying the Fa, I felt that I might have owed my daughter a lot of debts from my previous lifetimes and I was paying them off in this life. I should thank her instead of resenting her. After this realization, I gradually felt better.
Attachment to Showing-off
One day, I was asked where I bought my pretty clothes. I said they were my daughter’s but they were now too small for her. The person hinted that I had a good figure. This was an attachment to showing-off. Although I realized this flaw, I gave the same response when someone else asked me the same question. How difficult it was to get rid of this attachment!
I was happy when I collected more signatures on the petition to end the persecution than the other practitioners. I defended myself when they suggested the proper way to hand out flyers. When most of the flyers I handed out were thrown into the trash, I thought that I was not the only person, and fellow practitioners must be jealous of my “achievement.”
I suddenly realized I was wrong. Master is the one saving people, and as a disciple, I just run errands and spread the Fa. I should not take merit for the things I did.
Last year, I attended an experience-sharing conference on the project to distribute information about Shen Yun. I shared my experiences, but not many details—I just wrote an outline. When the coordinator asked me for a draft, I said I did not have one. I even asked why I couldn’t just submit an outline. Looking back now, I feel ashamed of my behavior.
Righteous Thoughts and Actions
Cultivators have to look inward to discover their attachments. After we identify them, we should send righteous thoughts to deny everything arranged by the old forces.
I had a hard time falling asleep at night. When I slept, I often dreamed of deceased relatives and classmates. One time, I dreamed that I was selling goods on the side of the road. Two men in black clothing approached me. They asked if I had a deathbed for children. I knew it was demonic interference originating from my mind. When I emphatically said “No,” they looked at me and then left. After I woke up, I wondered what I should learn from this dream. I would deny the old forces. I would let go of the attachment to life and death. I decided not to tell my daughter that I didn’t feel well. I continued to participate in Dafa activities and clean the house as usual.
One day, my son-in-law asked me why I hadn’t swept the yard. I said that I did it two days ago. He then asked me if I wanted eat tomorrow since I ate today. I promised to get it done even though I felt very weak. My daughter also complained that I did not do the housework. Before, she would have never said that to me. It was the old forces that wanted to keep me in bed.
In the midst of serious sickness karma and family conflicts, I took a job making dumplings in a restaurant. The restaurant is located in Chinatown, far from my daughter’s home. It was a hard job, from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. By the time I got home from work, it was almost midnight.
I did not consider myself to actually be sick. During a parade in Quebec City, I collected signatures and walked with the team all the way to the end without feeling ill. The coordinator praised me, but I knew that Master was encouraging me through the practitioner’s words.
In 2023, Master released two articles, “Stay Far Away From Peril” and “Cultivation in Dafa Is Serious.” I was shocked by what Master said. As I repeatedly read the articles, I wept and apologized to Master. I realized that my attachments had caused my sickness karma. The old forces used my weakness to cruelly attack me. I thus sent righteous thoughts from the bottom of my heart to remove the attachments.
The illusion of illness caused by the karma receded day by day. Master also removed bad matter from other dimensions for me. With a firm belief in Master and Dafa, I finally overcame my sickness karma, and my health slowly returned to normal. Many thanks to our compassionate Master.
After I recovered, my spirits also rose. I felt happy every day. Although I have a difficult job, I still keep the house in order. My daughter has access to the money I earn and can spend it as needed. She sometimes uses my money to buy food for the family.
My daughter and her husband also changed. They now pick me up at the bus station after I attend group Fa study at McGill University. They are not yet fully supportive of my practicing, because they do not see the power of Dafa manifested in me. When my cultivation improves, I believe they will agree Falun Dafa is good.
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