(Minghui.org) I began practicing Falun Dafa in July 1997, the same year my family’s new house was built. Due to financial constraints, we did not have courtyard walls, storage, or floor tiles in the courtyard, nor did we have nice furniture. I’m an office worker and have no experience with construction work, but I watched as masons, bricklayers, and carpenters worked on my house. I didn’t have the necessary tools, but I had a strong desire to do everything well.
I watched masons build walls. When I started laying stones of different sizes, I found it difficult to build a strong and neat wall. I fiddled with it for a long time but it still didn’t look good. I felt frustrated, but didn’t give up. I thought about it and remembered I heard the masons say, “The stone will have its own place. It depends on whether you lay it correctly.” I finally figured it out and built the courtyard walls.
I also learned bricklaying and carpentry and made simple furniture. I then installed a door and tiles. I found an old wooden box, dismantled it, and made a simple cabinet.
These little things made me feel talented. My neighbors complimented me, which made me feel even better. I felt a sense of accomplishment.
Waiting for Praise from Others
I was also able to install lights, household appliances, repair circuits, and more, which was equivalent to the skill of an electrician. I’m a white collar worker which is why I was even more proud of having these skills. People often asked me for help and I often received a lot of compliments and praise. Being praised by others made me feel great.
After a practitioner’s old building was renovated, he asked me to install electricity. Several fellow practitioners and I completed the electrical installation in less than a day. I was used to receiving praise for my work, but this time no one said anything. I felt a sense of loss, which was a manifestation of my showoff mentality.
Embarrassing Situation Points out My Attachment
A practitioner’s husband had a stroke and had difficulty moving around. One day, her circuit breaker broke down and she asked me to help. When I tried to replace it, a screw came off and couldn’t be tightened. I had to go to an electrical store to get a new one.
When I tried to reinstall it, I forgot the order of wiring the threads. I had to search bit by bit, and it took me a long time. Her husband attempted to give me instructions, but I didn’t want to listen. He was anxious, started working on it and installed it successfully despite his disabilities. I went home feeling embarrassed.
I searched within and saw my strong showoff mentality. I knew Master arranged this incident so I could see my attachment and eliminate it.
My Showoff Mentality Surfaces Again
Eliminating the showoff mentality is a process. Another incident happened recently which made me realize that my showoff mentality still hadn’t been fully eliminated. The time to submit papers for the “May 13th World Falun Dafa Day” was about to end. A practitioner asked me to come to her home to help another practitioner write her paper. We worked together and finished within a few hours.
It was published on the Minghui website in just six days. I was happy and wanted to share the good news with other practitioners.
On my way to the practitioner’s home, I examined myself and saw my showoff mentality. But at the same time, I still couldn’t help feeling proud and excited.
When I arrived, we were all happy. When they praised me I said modestly it was because the materials were great. When we tried to open the file on my tablet computer, the file could not be found. After trying twice, I realized it was due to my showoff mentality and the attachment to zealotry.
When I came home, I thought about this more. I viewed myself as a scholar who likes to write and is good at writing. I felt this incident proved my expertise. I thought about what Master taught us,“In other matters and in the course of cultivation, one should be sure to not develop the attachment of zealotry—this mentality can be very easily taken advantage of by demons.” (Lecture Eight, Zhuan Falun)
I saw the manifestation of my showoff mentality: I feel I’m smarter and have more abilities than others. I am capable. I like to highlight myself. I am self-centered.
I now have a deeper understanding of the saying, “Exposed rafters will rot first,” through studying the Fa and reading sharing articles on the Minghui website.
The person who takes the lead does not necessarily play a decisive role. In the past, that was usually me. As for those practitioners who cultivate in a down-to-earth manner, they work in silence. When they see any gaps they quietly make up for them. When they notice others having difficulties, they sincerely help them. They take it lightly even if others belittle or hate them. Such practitioners are the foundation for the group. They do not have a showoff mentality. They always think of others first and usually do most of the work.
I need to learn from these practitioners. I will stop treating accomplishing work as cultivation and I’ll let go of my attachments such as the showoff mentality. I will cherish this rare opportunity, and become a true Dafa practitioner.
This is my personal understanding. Please point out anything inappropriate.
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Category: Improving Oneself