(Minghui.org) I am 89 years old and had a hereditary heart condition since childhood. As I aged, it became increasingly severe. I often went to the ER and slept with an oxygen pillow every day. I was weak and couldn’t do any housework. Subsequently, I suffered with a shaking head, and lumbar and leg pain, and my hand was shivering. In addition to my own health challenges, after my husband retired, he was also in poor health.
In the spring of 2003, my husband’s relatives came to tell us about the great physical changes they had experienced since they began practicing Falun Gong (also called Falun Dafa). They also told us about the miracles that had happened to some other Falun Gong practitioners they knew. I was very excited and wanted to learn right away. My husband, influenced by the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) atheist ideology and modern sciences, did not quite believe in qigong, but with the sincere persuasion of his relatives, he agreed to try.
I finished reading Zhuan Falun in just a few days. Every sentence went into my heart, and I felt that I had never read such a good book, which I knew was really a heavenly book. I read it through continuously a number of times and realized the book gives guidance for genuine cultivation. I made up my mind to learn it well, follow Master’s words, and practice it to the end.
I made learning the Fa and doing the exercises every day an important part of my life. Not long after practicing, my body underwent great changes, and the heart disease, shaking head, and back and leg pain disappeared. I was able to serve tea and pour water for guests, and I was able to live completely on my own. I am so grateful to Master.
My husband and other family members were amazed by the changes in me. My children were relieved that they didn’t have to worry about my health anymore. As a result, my husband, two daughters, my brother, and my sister-in-law also started the practice. At the same time, a Fa study group was set up in my home so we could regularly study the Fa and exchange experiences in cultivation.
Getting Out of Tribulation with Firm Righteous Thoughts
The several practitioners in our family, with different levels of understanding and awareness of the Fa, have encountered different mental and physical tests and tribulations in our cultivation.
As soon as we started practicing, Master purified our bodies, and all of our illnesses disappeared. Especially my second daughter, who had a serious heart condition and could not go to work for several years, returned to normal and was able to go back to work. She also opened a small bookstore.
I realized that having good health is for cultivation, not just for us to live like ordinary people. Every practitioner will encounter many tests and difficulties, depending on whether we can realize that we are practitioners, and whether we can consciously and genuinely practice according to the standards of the Fa. All these aspects are crucial for practitioners. For those who have just started, and may not quite understand what cultivation is or how to practice cultivation, when they encounter difficulties, they are prone to having problems.
When I had been practicing for more than a year, my second daughter and my husband were going through serious illness karma. Some veteran practitioners often came to study the Fa and share cultivation insights with us. However, due to a lack of Fa study, my second daughter had many human notions and couldn’t use righteous thoughts to deal with her problems—she was deeply trapped in her emotions. As a result, the sickness was aggravated and she passed away in January 2015.
When I heard of my daughter’s death, I collapsed on the ground. I was heartbroken and couldn’t hold back my tears, but I couldn’t cry out loud because my husband was seriously ill in bed. How could I face this and tell my husband about it? Wasn’t this a test for me? I held back my grief and told my husband about this matter, so that he could understand it from the Fa. In fact, he was aware of our daughter’s health improvement, and how she was later trapped in emotion. This is her own path, and no one could interfere. My husband just nodded, trembled, and wept. His condition worsened, and he died in March of the same year.
Within three months, I lost two family members one after another. I was on the verge of total collapse. I couldn’t eat or sleep and just wept.
Fellow practitioners came to study the Fa with me unceasingly and helped me understand this issue from the Fa’s perspective.
The Fa has enlightened me and enabled me to free myself from pain and walk out of this unexpected catastrophe. Thank you, Master. I am a cultivator, I owe my life to Master’s salvation; without Master there would be no me. My daughter and husband were destined to be with me in this life, but they have their own destiny. Although I was sad, I knew they both had studied the Fa and practiced cultivation, even though they didn’t complete their path, which was all of their own choosing. Master has made good arrangements, so what can I not let go of? I looked at Master’s portrait, and said, “I am your disciple, and my choice is to follow Master to the end of my cultivation and not give up halfway. I will cherish this opportunity to cultivate and do well what a Dafa disciple should do, so as to live up to your compassionate salvation.”
My children wanted to take turns staying with me, but I told them that I have Master, and that I’m a cultivator and nothing will happen to me. In this way, I lived alone, and my daily schedule was quite organized. I woke up early to do the exercises, clean the house, study the Fa after breakfast, and recite Hong Yin. In the afternoon, I study Master’s other teachings. If the weather is good, I’d push a cart to the side of the road and sit there to send forth righteous thoughts, and if I could get a conversation going, I’d talk to people about Falun Dafa and the persecution.
There are several schools near my home and there’s an intersection with heavy traffic, with many people coming and going. I sent out this thought in my heart, asking for Master’s strengthening, “I want to save people with righteous thoughts, to eliminate the evil factors behind them, free them from the control of the CCP’s evil spirits.” I give them my compassion so that they can have a chance to be saved and become good beings in the future.
Strengthen Righteous Thoughts to Overcome Sickness Karma
Since I started practicing Dafa, I have experienced big and small tests and tribulations, and have been able to walk through them under the protection of Master’s compassion.
One day, I suddenly had heart pain, difficulty breathing, and sweating. I couldn’t stand and dropped to the floor. I subconsciously crawled toward the door, before suddenly realizing and asking myself why I crawled toward the door. I was afraid that no one would know if I died at home. That’s a human notion. I don’t want this human thinking. I am a cultivator. I am Master’s disciple.
My mind cleared up and I asked for Master’s help. Then a passage of the Fa came to my mind,
“When you feel very uncomfortable, it indicates that things will turn around after reaching an extreme. Your whole body will be purified; it must be completely purified.” (Zhuan Falun)
This was Master’s hint, and Master was giving me a new heart. Thinking of this, I slowly climbed onto a small stool and turned on the video of Master’s lectures in Jinan. The pain became lighter as I watched. When I got to the fourth lecture, all those bad symptoms disappeared. I was so excited that I burst into tears, thanking Master for giving me a new heart and a new life.
I felt that the further I practiced in Falun Gong, the higher and stricter the Fa’s demands were of us. One day, my back started to hurt, and I couldn’t move my back or even lie down on the bed due to the excruciating pain. My heart also ached. I looked inward to see what I had done that wasn’t in line with the Fa, but I couldn’t find anything. I managed to do the exercise movements despite the pain, studied the Fa, recited the Fa, and listened to the recordings of Master’s teachings.
I was in too much pain to cook, so I ate a few mouthfuls of leftover rice when I was hungry, and when I was sleepy, I knelt on the edge of a pile of quilts and closed my eyes for a while. After five days, I called my daughter, a fellow practitioner, and asked her to help me find my mistakes in cultivation.
We studied the Fa together. When I first started to practice Falun Gong, whenever I encountered illness karma, as long as I thought that I am a practitioner and that this was the elimination of karma, I would basically pass through it. But why couldn’t I do it this time? My daughter asked me to check my cultivation state, and I realized that I had slacked off. Sometimes my mind would wonder when I read the Fa, and sometimes I’d seek comfort in life.
My daughter reminded me that two new practitioners used to come to my home to study the Fa, and after a while, I advised them that since they lived far away, it would be fine for them to study at home. She said that since I am in charge of the Fa study group, I have the responsibility to bring people together and make improvements. Their home is indeed far away, and it's more than a three-hour round trip, but it’s good that they were willing to come, and isn’t this all Master’s arrangement? But I drove them away, and let down Master’s trust in me. Isn’t my fear of trouble and irresponsibility what caused such a serious illness? This is Master’s way of enlightening me.
I immediately called both practitioners and invited them back to our group Fa study. The same day my back pain was gone, and I could lie in bed at night to sleep.
Be a True Cultivator with a Firm and Upright Mind
I have always felt that Master has given me too many blessings, yet I have done very little, falling far short of the standards and requirements of the Fa. I will treasure this opportunity to cultivate. I know very well that the Fa is serious and that I can only go forward, not backward, and this is my creed on the path of cultivation so that my behavior is worthy of the title “Dafa disciple”.
Since my husband passed away, I have been living alone, taking care of myself and trying not to bother my children. Because what we practice is to think of others, not ourselves. My children asked if I felt lonely and needed someone to take care of me. I told them although I am almost 90 years old, Master has given me such good health, I can do anything, and I don’t need to be taken care of. My daily schedule is full. Rather than feeling lonely, I would feel that time is not enough. I also told them that if they have difficulties, I can try to help.
I have overcome many ordeals these past years, most of them physical, but I would not let my children know. I am a Dafa practitioner, these are my own hurdles and difficulties, and they don’t need to be known or worried about. So no matter which physical symptom came back in the process of eliminating karma, I would still cook and do whatever I needed to do, and I would always keep a positive image in front of them, using my own actions to maintain the image of a Dafa practitioner. My realization is that a practitioner’s good image can also play a role in saving people so that they can see the beauty of Dafa.
However, due to my poor enlightenment quality, sometimes when I encountered problems, I could not look inward right away, and I would not be able to pass the tests and make improvements in time.
For example, a few days before the Chinese New Year holiday, when I opened the door I saw an old toilet bowl placed in front of my house, full of stains and dirt. It was still there three days later. At that point, I couldn’t tolerate it anymore and thought this was bullying. It was almost the holiday, and someone put such a filthy thing in front of my home. I was really angry, my hands were shaking, and so was my head. I dragged the toilet bowl aside with a lot of effort.
The next day, my left knee began to hurt, and then it hurt more and more that I shivered. I couldn’t meditate and it was difficult to walk. I didn’t even realize that this was a test for me, that it was an opportunity for me to improve my xinxing. This ordeal dragged over into the holiday.
I studied the Fa and read Master’s new lectures, and finally woke up. The progress of Fa-rectification has reached such a point, why was I still experiencing such large tribulations? I quietened my mind and seriously and carefully checked my recent state of cultivation, and found a lot of problems.
First of all, I had not been strict with myself in my cultivation, and I had not been able to treat all the things I came into contact with as part of my cultivation. In addition, when my neighbors commented on my younger looks and still able to live alone and take care of myself, I developed complacency and a show-off mentality.
The old toilet placed in front of my house was not accidental. I should have taken that opportunity to eliminate my attachments to cleanliness and selfishness. However, I didn’t. Instead, I regarded the person who placed it there as a bad human being and held a grudge against them. This is far from the requirements of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance.
Sometime in November last year, I was studying the Fa with my daughter and another practitioner. My daughter was in the middle of a xinxing test. Someone in her in-laws’ family had lost money, and they suspected that she had taken it. She felt her reputation had been damaged. I suddenly remembered that when I was young, my mother-in-law lost some money and they suspected that I had taken it. I was also full of grievances. Later, the thief was caught and proved that I had not taken it. I could understand my daughter’s frustration. I told her about my incident, trying to comfort her and not to take it to heart. As cultivators, we should be able to take it lightly, or else it would affect our practice.
Although I advised my daughter not to take the matter personally, what happened decades ago still stirred up my mind. A few days later, when the three of us met to study the Fa, my daughter again mentioned what happened to her, and that she got a headache whenever she thought of being wronged, and this affected her studying the Fa and doing the exercises. I stepped away to get something, and when I came back, the two of them were still whispering, and my daughter was wiping away her tears. I got fired up all of a sudden, accusing them and telling them go somewhere else to chat, and said some other unpleasant words.
They were shocked and confused. The other practitioner asked, “Why are you so angry? Just tell me what I said or did that is not on the Fa. You mustn’t be angry.” My hands and head were shaking again. Seeing that I was so emotional, she said a few words to my daughter and left.
My daughter turned to me, saying, “What are you doing? Are you still a cultivator? Why are you so rude and angry? What did the two of us do wrong?” The series of questions stumped me.
Why was I so irrational and impulsive at that time? Wasn’t it a manifestation of my demonic side? Through studying the Fa and looking inward, I realized that it was touching those attachments that I should have eliminated. Why is it that what happened to my daughter and me so similar? Isn’t that using my daughter’s matter to dig out the resentment and grievances buried in the bottom of my heart from many years ago and remove them?
I simply hadn’t let go of the aggrieved and resentful thoughts from years ago, and the jealousy and emotion for my daughter also came out. That’s why I was so irrational and spoke with hurtful words, so unlike a cultivator. I must remove the demonic nature and cultivate Buddha nature.
After I realized this, my legs and lower back didn’t hurt any more, and my hands and head stopped shaking. My daughter also passed her xinxing test. I invited the other practitioner to my home and sincerely apologized to her. She responded, “There is no need to apologize, we are all cultivators. It’s actually good for us to temper each other, and for me to find out from this what I should let go of in cultivation.”
We all encounter tests and tribulations in cultivation, and they are all good things. Master leaves us this format of group Fa study in cultivation: for us to study the Fa together, encouraging each other, exchange experiences and remove human notions in this piece of pure land, so that we can step forward more solidly and complete our cultivation faster.
The above is what I have realized at my level, please correct me if there is anything not in accordance with the Fa.
Thank you, Master, for your compassionate salvation!
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