(Minghui.org) Greetings, revered Master! Greetings, fellow practitioners！
I realized it’s important to provide my child with a group cultivation environment. However, there aren’t many children her age in our area, and the literacy level in Chinese while studying the Fa and the times they study the Fa is also very different. In the process of overcoming these difficulties, I realized that helping young practitioners study the Fa is significant, and these experiences are very precious. Every thought and action is a cultivation opportunity.
Encouraging Young Practitioners
When my child was very young she read the Fa with me. A few years ago, I heard that another young practitioner in our local area was studying the Fa on the RTC platform and also clarified the truth over the phone. I thought this was great, so I had my child join Fa study on the platform with young practitioners around the world.
The group Fa study was a great cultivation opportunity for my daughter, and she looked forward to Fa study every evening. She also liked the short cultivation sharing after Fa study.
The first challenge we faced was that she didn’t know many Chinese characters and couldn’t read Zhuan Falun fluently in Chinese, so I sat with her and helped her. In just a few months, she could read 90 percent of the Chinese characters in Zhuan Falun. This demonstrates the importance of group Fa study that Master mentioned. Reading in a group like this helps young practitioners study the Fa diligently.
Having Consideration for Others
As my child improved her ability to recognize Chinese characters, she insisted on reading the Fa by herself. Of course I was happy for her progress. I corrected her pronunciation whenever she made a mistake. I thought my doing this would help her improve. However, each time I did, she looked hurt.
At first, I didn’t regard it as a big deal. I believed, as a mother, correcting my child’s mistakes was good for her and I wasn’t doing anything wrong.
My child often seemed very emotional, which sometimes affected her Fa study. I looked inward and realized the way I corrected her was not appropriate, as she didn’t want to lose face in front of other children. Although my intention was to help her I needed to change my approach. I needed to treat her as an independent person with dignity.
I adjusted my approach. For example, when she couldn’t pronounce a word, I waited and let her spell it out according to the phonetic notation. I only helped her when she seemed to be asking for help. We agreed that if she read it wrong, I would touch her hand and give her an opportunity to check it and correct it herself. If she still read it wrong, I told her the correct way after she consented.
After making this change the tension eased. It took just a few more seconds for her to think, but we improved the efficiency of her Fa-study and saved time. This became an enjoyable thing for us to do.
I realized that communicating with children is the same as communicating with anyone else. I should put myself in others’ shoes. While correcting her mistakes, I need to consider her perspective and be polite, tactful, thoughtful, and handle it with kindness.
Confronting One’s Weaknesses
Cultivating ourselves means facing our weakness and shortcomings. While studying the Fa with my child, she and I improved in how we looked inward and identified our weaknesses.
She sometimes studied the Fa with other children or other parents without me. They corrected her mistakes directly instead of the way I did it. It was fine if the correction was right, but sometimes she was corrected because of poor network signals or some other factors.
She felt uncomfortable when this happened. She initially had forbearance, but she later couldn’t help explaining or even arguing. Sometimes she complained angrily and didn’t want to continue studying the Fa with that group.
I tried to enlighten her, and she understood the principles of Dafa about how to face it. What really changed her was something she experienced with another child.
Several young practitioners were studying the Fa together when a little girl read a character wrong, and the parent on duty pointed it out to her. The little girl became emotional and shouted angrily, “I’m not wrong, I’m not wrong.”
I asked my daughter, “Do you think she was wrong?” She replied, “Everyone heard it.” I asked her, “How did you feel?” She said, “It’s fine if she’s wrong.” I said, “Yes, if someone points out the mistake, no matter whether she was wrong or not, as a cultivator, I think the first thing one should do is thank the person for correcting them, and then just read it again. However, she insisted on saying ‘I’m not wrong’ to save face, but the result was worse. If she faced the error frankly and corrected it, the test would have passed. It doesn’t matter at all whether you are right or wrong.” My child agreed that it made sense. From then on, when others corrected her, she said calmly “thank you” first, and then carefully reread the word. The other young practitioners in the group were also able to deal with it in the same way.
I often quote Master’s teachings to remind her:
“...“He’s right,And I’m wrong,”What’s’ to dispute?”(“Who’s Right, Who’s Wrong,” Hong Yin III)
I knew Master arranged this situation for me. It reminded me that when facing blame and criticism from others, we should always thank the other person first, accept what they say in good faith and correct ourselves. We shouldn’t be in a hurry to defend ourselves. Even if I’ve done nothing wrong, from a cultivator’s perspective, it’s a cultivation opportunity.
Helping Others Do Well
I was sometimes assigned to guide the children to study the Fa. I felt I was very conscientious. I carefully compared every single word and corrected them one by one if a child read it incorrectly.
I faced the same challenges as with my child. Some of the newcomers felt frustrated after being corrected. I tried my best to comfort them, but they still felt stressed. One child even pretended not to hear me when I corrected her and continued to read without correcting her mistakes.
It was a dilemma. If I only cared about their emotions and didn’t correct them, I wouldn’t fulfill my responsibilities as a veteran disciple, because Master’s teachings cannot be changed in this way. On the other hand, I had to encourage them. What should I do?
I later enlightened and had some understandings of mutual aid through righteous thoughts.
One girl was very fluent in Chinese. Although she read well, she often added words, skipped words, and even skipped lines. I was puzzled and I really wanted to help her.
I had an idea: I’ll read with you and hope that you would read it as accurately as I do. My microphone was muted, but I sent her my mind intent – you can hear my reading. I’ll try my best to read accurately, and you’ll make no errors.
Surprisingly the young girl made very few mistakes when reading. Her speed and rhythm were even the same as mine. Because I didn’t have to correct her, she had a sense of accomplishment and was happy.
I was surprised. The girl from thousands of miles away seemed to be physically very close to me. I was originally focused on finding the child’s mistakes so I paid attention to correcting her. I thought that this was good for her. My new approach was to help her and support her. I was confident that she would do well. With my righteous thoughts supporting her, the effect was good and really helped her. Probably she didn’t know what I was thinking, as I didn’t express it in words, but she did her best. I used the same method for Fa study with other children, and they all seemed to improve.
Master said,
“I’ve said that even people’s thoughts are substances. What you think can materialize and your words, what you say, have a form. It’s just that you can’t see it. Everything is of material existence.” (Teachings at the Conference in the Eastern U.S.)
My understanding is that when I help young practitioners read the Fa, I truly have the desire to help them, and I sincerely care about them. These kind, pure thoughts are righteous. My new approach worked and the children improved. Even though the person I tried to help may not have known—I felt they didn’t need to know.
I recall what other practitioners said: “Your environment is a mirror of yourself. When you see other’s shortcomings you should look inward for your own shortcomings.” From another perspective, seeing the shortcomings of others, and seeing that they are not doing well, may often be what you want to see in your own mind. It may be caused by your own perception. We should truly wish others well, sincerely help them, and be pleased with their achievements – this is compassion.
Practitioners Help Each Other
The young practitioners who study the Fa together on the platform came from all over the world, such as New York, New Jersey, San Francisco, Sydney, Toronto, and even Finland and Vietnam.
Aside from studying Zhuan Falun in Chinese, they also studied new scriptures. During the period of lock down, my child spent up to three hours every day studying the Fa in both Chinese and English. I have had two fixed Fa-study sessions for my child which are every Wednesday evening and Saturday morning. We have kept doing it for almost five years till now.
As time went by, however, the young practitioners who studied the Fa together gradually left for various reasons. Some were busy with schoolwork, some joined Fei Tian, some joined other Fa study groups, and others started working after graduating from university. Even though they left one after another, my daughter and I continue studying the Fa on the platform.
We encourage each other. No matter how many people are there, we aren’t moved. Sometimes we are the only ones, and I told my daughter, “Even if there’s no one else, we will study together.” She agreed.
There are also some advantages when there are just two of us. When she asks a question related to the content we are reading, we can pause and discuss her question.
At first, I thought I was helping my child. After years of perseverance, I have felt that I’ve benefited a lot from it.
In the process of reading, especially in English, I not only expanded my vocabulary, but I also improved my listening and speaking abilities. My child has given me a lot of help. Often when I answered her questions when studying the Fa, it was like a test of my understanding of the Fa. She patiently corrected my pronunciation. She also reminded me to look inward and be kind when I had a xinxing problem.
When Master taught the Fa related to “save and help one another,” Master said,
“That is my providing you with ways to save and help one another, to rescue people together, and at the same time save yourselves; so during these latter days, beings are able to help save one another.” (“Stay Out of Danger”)
As a mother, it’s my responsibility to introduce Master’s teachings to my child. I need to guide her to walk on the path of cultivation and inspire her to understand the wisdom and beauty of Dafa. In this process, parents gain far more. I think studying the Fa with children is a relationship where parents and children save and help one another.
A fellow practitioner reminded me a few years ago that guiding your child to be a true practitioner is a long-term project. The role of parents in this project is crucial. What is lost will be difficult to make up. We must do our best to guide the young generation of disciples and not leave any regrets.
Conclusion
Guiding young practitioners to study the Fa and practice cultivation is a long and continual process of cultivation and self-correction. In this Dharma-ending time all kinds of demons are out in force. It’s our responsibility as parents to guide our children to have a good understanding of Dafa so that they can experience Master’s great compassion and benevolence.
These are some of my experiences and understandings on Fa study with my child. Please kindly correct me if there’s anything inappropriate.
(Presented at the 2024 Canada Fa Conference)
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