(Minghui.org) As I read the article “Believing in Master and the Fa is Not Doing Lip Service” by a practitioner in the U.S., I felt the same way.
I’m 62 this year and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for 27 years. I live by myself as my son lives out of town. I’d like to tell you about my recent experience while overcoming a test of sickness karma.
On June 10, a lump the size of an egg yolk bulged out of my neck between my collarbones. It didn’t hurt much, but I felt some discomfort when I breathed and ate. I ignored it but sent forth righteous thoughts more often to eliminate the interference. I continued doing things as usual.
But a few days later when I went to bed, the lump hurt so much that I couldn’t sleep. I also had trouble breathing. I kept looking inward and found many attachments I still had, such as showing-off, jealousy, not liking criticism, a desire for nice food, and lust.
I sat up and sent forth righteous thoughts for half an hour, then I recited “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance is good,” a hundred times. I thought, “If Master arranged this test, I’m very grateful. If it’s the old forces trying to interfere with and persecute me, I’ll eliminate it.” I kept sending righteous thoughts, felt a little better, and fell asleep. However, the pain returned, and this time it was so bad that I held tight to my pillow to try to ease it.
I knew that Master was watching over me, so I had no fear. But I thought, “I must not ask Master for help as he’s already borne far too much for us, and I shouldn’t cause him more trouble.” (In fact, that thought was also a human attachment). I realized that I was going through a test, that it was a good thing, and that I should handle the situation well.
We Need to Pay Attention Our Thoughts
I said to Master in my heart, “Master, I can get over it, and I will pass the test well.” Just then, I had a negative thought: “You have esophageal cancer and you are going to die. Tell your son to return home as soon as possible. Tell him where your money is, and give the truth-clarification materials to your fellow practitioners. Or give them the key to the house in case you are unable to open the door.”
I became alert and clearheaded and realized, “No, these aren’t my thoughts. An evil being is trying to interfere with me.” I said, “Stop playing tricks. You’re a demon, but I’m a Dafa disciple with a sacred mission. Don’t you dare interfere with me! You’re nothing and should be eliminated!”
I kept sending strong righteous thoughts to eliminate this interference. I fell asleep around 2:30 a.m.
The alarm rang at 3:10 for the morning exercises. I got up, still groaning in pain. Then I thought, “I’m not ill. This is a false appearance. I mustn’t complain. I must rectify myself right now.”
However, I still felt very sleepy and thought I might skip the exercises just once. Just then, I remembered Master’s poem:
“Predestined ties of endless lifetimesEach has Dafa as its guiding thread’Tis in hardship the golden body is temperedWhy such slow and leisurely steps?”(The Difficult Path to Godhood, Hong Yin II)
I knew that Dafa disciples are not constrained by the Three Realms, so we are not subjected to the human cycle of birth, old age, illness, and death. When I reminded myself of this, I became even more clearheaded: What was happening to me was a good thing, and it was helping me succeed in my cultivation.
The next day, a fellow practitioner came over to study the Fa with me, and I told her about the test I was going through. She said, “I wouldn’t have noticed anything different about you if you hadn’t told me. I’ve had constipation these past few days, and I’m really suffering.”
“I don’t have that problem,” I said casually, so for the next three days I had trouble moving my bowels. I realized that there was an element of showing off in what I said to her. What an inappropriate thought! I eliminated it immediately!
On the fourth day, I felt like I would have a bowel movement, but nothing happened even after I sat on the toilet for half an hour. I got up and noticed some blood in the toilet. It came as a shock and I thought: “I have anal cancer.”
I knew the evil was interfering with me again, so I said: “You are the one with anal cancer. You are playing tricks on me one after another, but let me tell you, none of your tricks will work. I eliminate you!”
When I looked inward, I realized the importance of being righteous in everything we say and do. Otherwise, even a casual remark like that could cause a bad situation. I felt ashamed.
Getting back to my throat: The skin around it turned red, the lump grew larger, and even my shoulders started to hurt. I still had some negative thoughts from time to time, but as soon as such a thought emerged, I immediately disintegrated it and carried on as usual.
I do the five exercises every morning, study the Fa for half a day, then go out to clarify the truth to save people for the rest of the day. A few days later, the lump was gone and everything was back to normal!
I am infinitely grateful to Master. I’m determined to do the three things well so that Master feels more happy and less worried about me.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
