(Minghui.org) In recent years, I have felt that the Minghui website is a platform through which Master shows immense compassion and care for disciples. Fellow practitioners’ touching cultivation experiences reveal their profound understanding of the Fa and how they do the three things well in their respective environments. Through the Minghui website, Master also allows disciples to see changes in the process of Fa-rectification and the cultivation states of Dafa disciples.
I would like to share how I have looked inward in my daily life and improved my character.
Overcoming Illness Karma
Before cultivating, I was plagued and tormented by various diseases. At 11 years old, I was diagnosed with idiopathic scoliosis. Following that I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, viral myocarditis, insufficient blood supply to the brain, rhinitis, pharyngitis, and gastric neurosis. I couldn’t eat or sleep well. I constantly felt dizzy and experienced pain all over my body. I frequently went to the hospital. I was in extreme pain.
I began practicing Falun Dafa in 1998. Within less than a month, I could sit without pain. My aching back stopped hurting, and I could eat any food, warm or cold. It had taken me one hour to walk what would take a normal person 10 minutes, but now I could climb the stairs without any problems. On my cousin’s wedding day, I rode a bicycle to the venue, which amazed everyone. From then on, I was free of illnesses. For more than 20 years, I haven’t taken a single pill. I have been immersed in happiness and joy every day.
However, I recently have often experienced pain in my hands, arms, back, and legs. A bad thought flashed through my mind, “Could it be that my cervical spondylosis has relapsed?” I immediately denied this thought and quickly sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate it. I told myself, “I am a disciple of Master Li Hongzhi. Master arranges my cultivation path, and I deny and eliminate any other arrangements. I only follow the cultivation path arranged by Master.”
I woke one morning with pain everywhere. I told myself, “No matter what, I must persist in finishing the exercises. No matter how uncomfortable I feel, I must not delay the three things. I must go out to clarify the truth and save people. These are all illusions. If the evil makes me suffer, I will make it suffer even more; if it makes me feel pain, I will return all the pain to it. Because what I am doing is the most righteous thing in the entire universe—saving sentient beings is my mission and responsibility. It is Master’s requirement for disciples, and whoever interferes is committing a crime.” With this determination, I repeatedly eliminated the interference and firmly stepped out of the house.
When I went out to clarify the truth, I felt no pain. I deeply understood that Master had borne the karma for me again. I needed to use the tool Master has given disciples—looking inward—to eliminate the interference affecting my body. I couldn’t always let our compassionate Master endure and sacrifice for me, as this would make me unworthy of being a true disciple.
I looked inward and found the excuse the evil had used to persecute me. I hadn’t persisted in doing the second exercise for an hour every day. This was a major loophole, allowing the evil to find an excuse to persecute me. I felt ashamed that I had failed to accomplish such an easy task! I am determined to do it for an hour every day without exception.
The Joy of Looking Inward
One night, I had a vivid dream. My younger brother and I were walking, and my younger sister was ahead of us. I called her, but she didn’t seem to hear and kept walking. I told my brother to call her, but no matter what I said, he didn’t seem to hear either—he just had a blank face. My anxiety caused me to wake up. The scene from the dream kept replaying in my mind, and I couldn’t understand what it meant.
A thought came to me: Let go of sentimentality! Only by letting go of sentimentality can you move forward. Don’t be entangled in emotions.
I realized that I was indeed too sentimental, always thinking about this person or that person. Earlier this year, I had chosen a good day and invited my siblings to my home for a reunion, but none of them came. I finally understood—they were helping me let go of sentimentality. I was sincerely grateful to them! I decided to let things take their natural course. I will not force anything or be entangled or troubled by emotions.
A few days ago, I asked my husband to do something, and he became very impatient. Although I held back from arguing with him, I thought, “You play with your phone all day and get upset when asked to do such a small task.” Every few days, he would mention something I did that upset him. I initially thought, “Say whatever you want.” I now realize that whatever had happened was targeting my heart. I need to hold myself to higher standards and unconditionally look inward.
As I looked inward, I realized my husband was helping me let go of the desire to hear pleasing words. How could I blame him? I should be grateful.
During a Fa-study session once, I corrected a fellow practitioner who had made a mistake while reading. The practitioner responded, “Why are you smiling? What do you mean by that?” I explained that I didn’t mean anything by my smile, but she was unhappy.
When I got home, I thought this fellow practitioner was really unreasonable. The next day, I kept reflecting on the incident and realized that I needed to expand my capacity for understanding. I discovered that my practice of looking inward was conditional. I felt at ease looking inside if I knew I was wrong, but uncomfortable if I did think I’d done anything wrong. I realized that I should look inward unconditionally, regardless of whether I appeared right or wrong on the surface.
Master’s words echoed in my ears:
“Competing and fighting treated as happiness;” (“Cultivating in a Maze,” Hong Yin)
I suddenly woke up as if from a dream: Do not fight or argue; maintain a compassionate heart and a harmonious mindset and measure everything against the Fa.
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Category: Improving Oneself
