(Minghui.org) I was stubborn, and my husband was hot-tempered, so we often fought, which disturbed the neighbors. The conflicts in our family, coupled with the conflicts in my husband’s family, caused my heart disease to become more serious. When I thought about my children being exposed to this situation, I couldn’t help but cry.
After seeing my predicament, my colleagues introduced Falun Dafa to me. Since then, I have used Dafa’s principles, Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, as my guide. I’ve held myself to these principles in conducting myself. I tried to correct my stubborn character, not fight with my husband, but tolerate him instead. My character became better, and all my illnesses went away. Being illness-free, I truly felt light!
I deeply experienced the miraculous nature of cultivation. Dafa saves all living beings, including me and my family. My husband witnessed the transformation in me, and our family became more harmonized.
My Husband Was Poisoned by the Party’s Lies
On July 20, 1999, the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) initiated its brutal persecution of Falun Dafa. Because I refused to give up cultivation, I was illegally arrested and was detained multiple times, as well as imprisoned for six years.
Having been poisoned by the Party’s lies and feeling the pressure of its tyranny, my husband developed a misunderstanding about Dafa. He not only resented me, but also Master Li Hongzhi. He placed all the fear and pressure the Party brought upon him onto me. In order to shake my firm belief in Dafa, he used both soft and hard tactics, including physical violence, repeatedly. What made me even more heartbroken was that he also slandered and cursed Master and Dafa. Wasn’t he creating great karma for himself?
By Cultivating My Xinxing, My Husband Witnesses the Wonder of Dafa
I quietly endured all these tribulations forced upon me. Meanwhile, I kept clarifying the truth about Dafa to my husband. When he could calm down, I reasoned things out with him in great detail. Moreover, I looked inward, measuring myself with the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance to find my loopholes. As I strictly held myself to these principles, I kept purifying myself. Instead of blaming and resenting him, I took great care of him and tried to understand him.
In the past, we had many conflicts with his brothers and sisters. But I no longer cared about grudges, nor fought over who’s right or wrong. I treated each of them kindly and helped them wholeheartedly. I sincerely guided my husband to let go of those notions and helped him to untie the knots in his heart. I told him, “Everyone has different temperaments, starting points, and ways of looking at things. Therefore, their methods of dealing with things are different. So we shouldn’t blame others, but rather understand them, be tolerant, and be generous. Regardless of what others have said to us or how they’ve treated us, we should not harbor any resentment, but be kind to them instead.” I also took the opportunity to tell him about Dafa’s principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance and share some stories about traditional culture with him.
Additionally, I tried my best to take care of my father-in-law, who suffered from the after effects of a stroke. I did his cooking, washing, and house cleaning. At first, I felt I wasted a lot of time taking care of him. I thought: “He is your father, but I have to do all the work to take care of him.” When he became ill, I took him to see the doctor, which was costly and time-consuming. I criticized his family for not caring about him, and hoped that someone would relieve me for a few days.
My father-in-law was a farmer and had no pension. My husband is the eldest of five siblings; he wasn’t around during the day and seldom took care of household chores when he was home. I also thought: “Since his siblings didn’t help, at least they could give me some financial support.” However, I knew that having these thoughts in the back of my mind was wrong. I cultivate Dafa, so I should look within and strictly assess how to do well on my part, as opposed to what I expect others to do. I often thought about what Master said in Zhuan Falun:
“The junior monk is always suffering and tired. He will repay his karma and become enlightened more quickly.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
I understood that this was my cultivation environment. I not only had to do well without complaint or resentment, but also thank my husband for helping me improve my xinxing.
I often thought: “My husband is my family member, and it was Master who arranged for us to be together so we could return to our true homes in heaven. I must do well, so as not to disappoint Master’s expectations.” From then on, I tried my very best to treat him well, while also letting go of my mentality of feeling upset.
While I was illegally detained, my sister-in-law wanted to move into my 1,000 sq. ft. apartment and have ownership transferred to her. My husband had a falling out with her, and they stopped talking. After I returned home, my husband asked me to go see her to get payment for the apartment. After I explained my reasons to her, she refused to give me any money, and I was rather upset. Yet, I had one thought in my mind: “I’m a practitioner.” So I remained calm, swallowed my anger, and quietly returned home. Afterward, I couldn’t bear it anymore. I was really almost angry to death!
I ended up buying a new house. But after living there for only five years, I was persecuted and imprisoned. When I returned home, the house belonged to someone else. Although my husband had bought a new home, he incurred a lot of debt without having a source of income. He was also having an affair with another woman, making our family quite a mess. I cried and poured out all my grievances.
Despite all of this, I never forgot that I’m a practitioner. I didn’t criticize my husband too much. I expressed my understanding of some of his actions and accepted the reality. If I were not a practitioner, I would have been uncontrollably angry!
In the following days, I adjusted myself little by little by studying the Fa. I went from being upset and not caring about my sister-in-law to gradually letting it go, being nice to her, and taking care of her regardless of past grudges. Because my sister-in-law was in poor health and had not worked for a number of years, her life was very difficult.
During the time that I was imprisoned, she helped me by taking care of my child for three years. I thought I should forget about the house and just remember that she took care of my child, so I should be grateful and give her some financial support in return. I now treat her like my own sister. It was just like the example Master gave in Zhuan Falun,
“Other people claimed, “No, the apartment shouldn’t be given to him. It should be given to me because I need the apartment badly.” This person said, “Then you can go ahead and take it.”” (Lecture Nine, Zhuan Falun)
I actually managed to do this. I truly managed to completely let it go. I accepted that the apartment must not have been mine.
I often thought: “Perhaps I was the King of a certain celestial world, and she was the Bodhisattva beside me. Our predestined relationship was established, and then we came down to earth together. That’s our true relationship: We’re inseparable, and will return home together!”
My brother-in-law lives in the countryside and wanted to borrow my car. However, he had no intention of returning it. I then found out my husband had agreed to let him drive it. I was not very happy at first and said a lot of bad things about the situation. My husband also admitted that what I said made sense, but he still said, “He did ask to borrow it, so we have to lend it to him initially.”
I said, “Borrow? So when will he return it?” My husband replied, “When I need it, I can ask for it back.”
“Oh, so if I want to use it, I have to go dozens of miles away to get the car?!”
As soon as I said that, I knew it was my human thoughts coming out. However, I kept using the Fa’s principles to weigh this matter in my heart. After several hours of tempering my mind, I decided to give him the car. At the time, my family’s business was just starting to pick up. I was really reluctant to let it go, since I spent 100,000 yuan to buy it. It felt like I was cutting off a piece of my flesh to give him. But my rationality told me I should let it go.
Although I told my husband the reasons I shouldn’t give it to him, I still agreed to. My husband was moved to tears and repeatedly thanked me. I said that I could do this only because I practice Falun Dafa, so he should thank our Master.
Because of the persecution, our family business experienced ups and downs. With a huge debt, my husband’s mood fell to rock bottom, and he often drank to drown his sorrows. To help him, I always patiently enlightened him with the Fa’s principles. I said, “As long as we remain kind, all this will pass. No matter what, we will definitely get through it. So what’s there to worry about?” I also told him the story about the man who was sad because he didn’t have shoes to wear, until he saw a man without legs. Finally, I reminded him that we have Master, and He will help us get through the hard times.
My Husband Is Transformed by Dafa’s Compassion
Being inspired by Dafa’s principles, and with hints from compassionate Master, I firmly looked inward to improved my xinxing. My path became clearer, and my thoughts became more pure.
Seeing the changes in me, my husband experienced the saving grace of Dafa. He also went through great changes: He began to believe in Dafa; he saw through the evil nature of the CCP; he believed in the fact that good and evil have their due course; he learned to be tolerant in handling things; and he could also control his temper. My husband wrote a “solemn declaration,” announcing that his past words and actions against Dafa were null and void. He also participated in the effort to bring the former CCP leader, Jiang Zemin, to justice.
My family’s business began to ramp up, and good projects came one after another. My husband also learned to control his drinking, and the woman he had an affair with left. I could now clarify the truth to others and persuade them to quit the CCP in front of my husband. He even persuaded a friend on the police traffic team to quit the CCP.
Before my husband goes to bed, he often listens to Minghui podcasts about divinely-inspired culture. He also often uses the freegate application to break through the Internet blockade to read uncensored news. He recently began to learn to play guitar and even asked me to download the sheet music for “Falun Dafa Is Good.” He wanted to learn to play music that was composed by practitioners.
With my xinxing improved, my husband also went through great transformations.
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Category: Improving Oneself
