(Minghui.org) I’m now a senior high school student. I’m thankful I have not been completely contaminated by this materialistic world. All this is a reflection of my environment growing up. My parents and grandmother are Falun Dafa practitioners, and there are always other practitioners coming and going in our home. So I was exposed to everything related to cultivation practice.
When I was in elementary school, I occasionally studied the Fa with my family, but my understanding was superficial, and I didn’t truly grasp its importance. My doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts was also limited. After entering middle school, due to my playful nature and the influence of my friends, I gradually stopped studying the Fa. I also lost my persistence in sending righteous thoughts and doing the exercises. In high school, I became even more lax. Over time, all kinds of bad, everyday behaviors began to manifest in me.
However, our compassionate Master never gave up on me. He has been watching over me and guiding me, preventing me from falling completely into the abyss of the mundane world. Below are my experiences I would like to share with Master and other practitioners.
Quitting Smoking
I’m very conscious about saving face, so I didn’t like to turn down others’ requests. I remember when my class was reassigned in the second half of my second year of high school. My best friend and I were separated, but we kept in touch. One day, she came and offered me a cigarette. I declined, but asked her why. She said everyone else smoked, and she also wanted to. When she asked again, I was moved by her remark that almost everyone else smoked. I loved to follow the crowd and show everyone I was “up to date,” so I agreed and started smoking with her and quickly became addicted.
My daily habit of smoking one cigarette increased to two or three. My mother gave me enough allowance, so I bought pack after pack, becoming increasingly addicted. My mind was clouded, and I completely forgot I was a cultivator and stopped Fa study. When I got home one night, my mother asked me why I smelled like cigarettes. Feeling guilty, I lied and said it was because other students were smoking in the hallway. She didn’t say anything more.
Lying in bed at night, Master’s teachings in Zhuan Falun entered my mind. I understood that, as a cultivator, I couldn’t smoke, so I resolved to quit. It was truly painful at first, especially when the urge to smoke came back. I was so consumed by anxiety that I couldn’t concentrate on my studies, and my temper became extremely volatile. But I knew it was something I had to endure, so I diligently controlled myself, reciting “Falun Dafa is good, Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance is good.” With Master’s help, I successfully quit smoking and haven’t thought about it since.
My Phone Addiction
Cellphones are truly harmful. For a while, in my second year of high school, I became obsessed with Japanese anime and novels, and sometimes watched videos on TikTok. Not only did I waste countless hours, but the pornographic and violent scenes constantly flooded my mind, arousing my lust.
I stopped paying attention in class, as my mind was preoccupied with what I would watch after school. Every day, I played with my phone, looked at attractive boys, or read novels. The plots moved me to tears and laughter. I was completely unlike a normal person, and my mood became volatile.
One night, I dreamed of a very good-looking boy holding my hand and trying to kiss me. When I woke up, I didn’t take it seriously and felt a bit elated. When I think about it now, I feel ashamed. But at the time, I didn’t realize that I was spending so much time on my phone. Even when my mother forbade me from using it, I would find excuses to satisfy my desires.
Seeing that I didn’t understand, Master continued to give me hints. I dreamed many times of falling from a tall building, which left me feeling startled. I told my mother about my dreams, and she said, “That’s Master enlightening you. Have you thought about anything wrong lately?” Suddenly, the word “cellphone” popped into my mind, and I understood. I should stop using my phone and not let it control me. At the same time, I realized I had a strong attachment to lust. I knew I needed to get rid of it.
Among everyday people, someone preoccupied with playing on their phone and not studying is considered a poor student. It’s even more so in cultivation practice. If I don’t do the three things well, overuse my phone, and don’t follow Master’s standards, then I’m not a true practitioner. So, I uninstalled all the inappropriate apps on my phone.
Afterward, I still wanted to play on it sometimes. I knew it wasn’t me, but the possessing spirit behind the phone wanted me to look at it. So, whenever I had the urge, I would clear that thought away. If the thought appeared again, I would quickly clear it away. Over time, these thoughts almost disappeared. I focused on studying, and my days were fulfilling. I was no longer as muddled as before. Thank you, Master, for your hints!
Cultivating My Character
During self-study in school one evening, my classmate, who shared the desk with me, wasn’t in, so my friend Ma wanted to sit next to me. Because it was after class and everyone was talking, I couldn’t hear her clearly. I thought she wanted another classmate named Ping to sit next to me. I didn’t like Ping much, so to prevent her from sitting next to me, I pushed the empty stool under the table. Ma then thought I didn’t want her to sit next to me and got angry.
I tried to explain, but she wouldn’t listen and started a fight. I thought, “Why are you still treating me like this after I’ve explained everything?” I felt very wronged, but I didn’t show it. Wanting to maintain a good relationship with Ma, I apologized to her, and we reconciled. But I still felt unconvinced and didn’t think of myself as a cultivator.
From this incident, I realized that I had a strong competitive mentality and a refusal to admit being wrong. I also held disdain for others—something I should get rid of. I didn’t get over the incident, and only later did I realize that, as a cultivator, I needed to look inward. It truly made me feel ashamed. I should always remember to look at my shortcomings first.
Another time, I bought a bag of snacks and gave some to my friend Lin. I thought she would give me some of hers, but she didn’t. I started to feel upset, thinking, “I gave you snacks, why didn’t you give me any? Don’t you understand reciprocity?”
But after a while, I realized something was wrong. Wasn’t this actually helping me to eliminate my greed and desire for food? I realized I had a strong sense of gluttony. Because I love meat, I almost always ate a meat dish at noon. If not, I would eat very little. While most people might consider this picky eating, for a cultivator, it’s a strong attachment. I resolved to get rid of this and followed Master’s teaching:
“...however, as meat will no longer be tasty to you. If it is cooked at home, you will eat it with your family, if it is not cooked at home, you will not miss it.” (Lecture Seven, Zhuan Falun)
It seems I’m still working to get rid of this attachment. It’s not who I am, and I don’t want it. I want to eliminate it and become a true cultivator.
This is my first time writing a sharing article. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
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