(Minghui.org) I’m 68 years old and I’ve practiced Falun Dafa for more than twenty years. I’ve never written an experience sharing article due to my limited education and lack of writing skills, also because I felt I didn’t cultivate well and fell short of Master’s expectations. But through sharing with other practitioners in our Fa study group, I’ve come to understand that all practitioners should contribute. Writing is a way to support Minghui.org and harmonize our cultivation group. The most important thing is to participate. I’d like to tell you about some of my cultivation experiences.
Failing to Look Inward May Hinder Our Improvement
Looking back on my more than twenty years of cultivation, I realized that my journey wasn’t smooth because I didn’t really know how to cultivate. My xinxing improved very slowly in my family environment, and I didn’t pay enough attention to cultivating myself in minor things. For example, if I spilled water on the floor while I cooked and my husband pointed it out, I snapped back, “How can anyone cook without spilling any water?” I thought he was just being picky and I didn’t realize it was an opportunity to look inward. I didn’t think it had anything to do with my cultivation. Incidents like that happened repeatedly, and over time, my husband became increasingly dissatisfied with me.
I slowly realized that I needed to stop my words and actions that didn’t meet the standard of Dafa. I needed to start by being tolerant and not talking back. As a cultivator, I must learn to endure. Sometimes when I slacked off and failed to have forbearance, Master would use my husband’s words to remind me: “Talk less, talk less.” I felt embarrassed.
Looking Inward—Conflicts Resolved Easily
One day last July, I made dinner and set it on the table, waiting for my husband to come home. Hours passed but he didn’t come. I started to complain in my heart: “How much work does he have to do? It’s almost 8 p.m., and we have other things to take care of after we eat!”
Just then, my husband came back and sat down to eat. I didn’t hold my xinxing and I grumbled. He immediately got upset and said, “Do you think I was out playing? After watering the crops, I had to roll up the hose!” He became angrier as he spoke, threw down his chopsticks, and went into his room, slamming the door. I couldn’t hold back and called after him, “Aren’t you hungry? Aren’t you behaving like a child?” I finished eating, cleaned up, and left his portion of the food on the table.
I went to my room and sat on the bed, but I felt uneasy. I started looking inward: Nothing is accidental—what attachments is this incident helping me get rid of? First of all, I hadn’t let go of ego, I lacked compassion and still had resentment, a competitive mentality, and impatience. I realized that my husband was helping me improve. So, I should apologize to him.
I opened the door and said, “I’m sorry. Please come eat. It’s a long night—aren’t you hungry?” He immediately got up and came to eat. At that moment, I felt an indescribable joy. By letting go of ego and thinking of others, I aligned with the principles of the new universe. Master helped me dissolve the conflict.
Looking Within Brings a Turning Point
Last August, my granddaughter was admitted into the high school. Since the school was far from home and didn’t offer boarding, my son rented an apartment nearby, and his family moved there. They offered their apartment to my husband and I. I was happy about this arrangement, because the mosquitoes in the countryside were especially bad recently. My husband and I planned to move there in the winter.
One day, my daughter-in-law came home from work and told me that her aunt wanted to rent their apartment. My son didn’t feel comfortable turning her down, so he agreed. As soon as I heard this, I was unhappy and said, “If you need rent money, I’ll pay it.” And that was the end of the discussion.
Over the next few days, I kept reflecting on what happened. As a cultivator, I knew nothing happens by chance. I wanted to live in that apartment, avoid mosquito bites, and be warm in the winter—I wanted to be comfortable. Wasn’t this exposing my attachment to comfort? My attachment to seeking comfort hadn’t been fully eliminated. In the past, I did all five sets of the exercises for a few days, then I skipped one or two sets, and tried to make them up later. To seek comfort, it became my habit of not completing all the exercises in one go.
Once I understood this, I told my husband, “Let her aunt live in the apartment. Her son is getting married, and she’s scared to live alone in her old big house.” After I let go of the attachment, my daughter-in-law called early the next morning and said, “You should move into that apartment. I’ll help my aunt find another place. We need you to live since we have to leave some of our things there. Our child may stay with you when she’s on her school break, and my husband can’t afford to drive back and forth.”
I know that if I want to improve, I must pay attention to every single thought and understand things based on the Fa. I often went out with other practitioners to tell people the truth about Dafa. Whenever one practitioner cannot come, I would think: this is to help me get rid of my dependence on others, so I would go alone to save people. I often met people who were just waiting there, and they would quickly agree to quit the Chinese Communist Party after I clarified the truth to them. Holidays, market days, train and bus stations—all these are great opportunities for me to tell people the truth. As long as I go out, I meet people who seem to be waiting for me.
When Master’s teaching “Stay Far Away from Peril” was published, I was deeply shocked when I read it. I recalled that when my main consciousness was not strong, I had some negative thoughts imposed on me—thoughts that were disrespectful to Master and the Fa. I took this opportunity to expose them and firmly reject them. At the same time, I knew I had to work harder to improve my xinxing. I firmly believe in Master and Dafa and will follow Master to return home!
I am deeply grateful for Master’s compassionate and arduous salvation!
Thank you to all practitioners for your selfless dedication!
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Category: Cultivation Insights
