(Minghui.org) We read the Fa so we know how to handle complicated situations with compassion. Behind the Fa are mechanisms and factors that guide cultivation, test one’s xinxing, improve one’s level, and increase one’s gong. Recently, the tests of my xinxing and the transformation of my karma have manifested in my home - in the form of friction with my spouse, which is often sudden and unexpected.
My husband informed me that our son and daughter-in-law would come for lunch on Sunday. So, that morning, I began preparing the meal, which included stewed meat, fried fish, and other hot and cold dishes. Because our kitchen is small the pots and pans were piling up. I asked my husband to help out by clearing some away. I called out to him, but he did not respond. In the past, when I called him for help, he either pretended not to hear or was unwilling to halt his card game or stop watching TikTok.
The oil was already smoking and I hadn’t even chopped the green onions yet! I was so impatient that I shouted at him in an angry manner. He then came, stood at the door and shouted, “Can you speak nicely?” He was ready to pick a fight. I couldn’t help but retort: “No!”
That was a mistake. He took a big step toward me, raised his arm, and said, “I’ll slap you!” Then he pointed at me and shouted, “Say that again!” I didn’t say a word. I did not expect him to get so angry. After his outburst, he left, and I continued cooking. My son and daughter-in-law arrived for lunch by noon, and everything seemed normal.
On the surface, I “endured” it, but I couldn’t let it go in my heart, which led to resentment and grievance towards him. I remembered a promise my husband made to me several months ago. He had fallen ill, was unable to move, and had diarrhea. I spent days caring for him, cleaning him up, and even getting up multiple times at night to attend to him. It was exhausting. He was deeply moved and said, “You’re also in your seventies now. From now on, I’ll treat you even better.”
At the time, I didn’t take his words to heart. As a practitioner, one should do good for others without expecting anything in return, let alone for one’s family. However, the sense of injustice resurfaced, causing me to recall his promise of “treating me even better.”
For several days, I didn’t want to chat with him as usual. There was a barrier in my heart, and I even had extreme thoughts: If I weren’t a cultivator, I would fight him! Who’s afraid of whom? How could I put up with this humiliation and swallow my anger?
After I calmed down, I thought about the Fa principle of transforming karma and achieving four goals at once. Oh! Master saw that I memorized the Fa well and should improve myself, so he provided me with an opportunity to test my xinxing and improve my gong. This is a good thing. My husband’s fierce behavior was only superficial—he behaved this way to offer me a cultivation opportunity. It was not easy for him either, so I should thank him.
This friction exposed my resentment, sense of injustice, mentality of fighting, and attachment to sentimentality. If I have these feelings I cannot truly have “forbearance.” True forbearance is pure and free of human emotion.
When I identified my shortcomings and improved my understanding of the Fa, my husband changed. He occasionally helped clean up the kitchen, clear the dishes after meals, and reminded me to send forth righteous thoughts. The emotional barriers between us were eliminated.
Because forbearance is wonderful, it is not the kind of endurance one thinks of when facing insurmountable obstacles, such as swallowing anger or submitting to adversity. Forbearance is the elevation of thought, the improvement of one’s realm, and the enhancement of one’s cultivation. Therefore, when cultivators truly practice forbearance, they take a step forward on the path of returning to their original nature.
In everyday life, we share the wonders of “Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forgiveness” with others. Forbearance can resolve conflicts, settle grievances, and repay karmic debts. It can also bring harmony and prosperity, and a harmonious family leads to success in all endeavors.
Falun Dafa practitioners cultivate Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance and assimilate these principles into their lives. The essence of tolerance and forbearance brings harmony and well-being to families and society. The world needs Truthfulness, Compassion, and Forbearance.
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Category: Cultivation Insights
